To think life is just so much nicer with a bit of money

[Idontwantaworldfullofrobots]

I’m not talking loads necessarily but just not constantly watching what you spend.
We’ve had times where we’ve had to watch every penny (currently sort of like this but grateful to have nice Christmas dinner & presents for Dd) and times in the past where we could go for mini breaks at Christmas or nice meals out and activities, maybe treat each other, not huge things. Life is just so much more enjoyable with a bit of money and really quite crap without, isn’t it

I agree completely OP. I don't mean ££££s so you can afford brand new cars and 2 week breaks in the Maldives each year. But enough to not worry about heating or eating, the odd take away, or if you see a top you like you can buy it, you can meet a friend for a coffee, or your dd wants a McDonald's on the way home it's ok. That kind of money does make a huge difference.

The issue is that I was that person who could have the odd takeaway etc. but not now with the cost of living rises. I'm fortunate I can still afford to heat and eat, but that's it at the moment.

It's a lot easier to plan our Christmas and the two funerals bookending the fortnight knowing that we can get to the services even during rail strikes and feeling that we're dressed appropriately.

I was brought up to always have money in the Bank for any private medical treatment and for the cost of my Funeral…it’s good advice!

Yanbu. I fantasise about being a rich girl in a posh flat in London on a chaise longue, planning my winter holiday in Mustique whilst unwrapping an expensive bottle of perfume in my silk underwear.

Instead ive got to defrost the car to g3t to work so I can pay off my overdraft!

Get*

My DH died suddenly leaving me two tiny kids. I used the half million of life insurance to pay off the mortgage and hire a nanny, plus a few treats E.g holidays. I know many other young widows who had no money and their lives were much, much harder.

Money didn't make the loss any less but it made the aftermath bearable.

Yanbu.

It doesn't mean you can't be having bad times for other reasons (health, work stress, infertility etc) but you can have those things and no money - if you have plenty of money its one less bad thing to worry about.

Having some money is wonderful. It didn't save people from all problems like chronic illness, death, betrayal, and shame, but it does make life easier to bear. My parents didn't have much money and I didn't either as a young adult. I thought that getting married would mean asking an additional source of income to make life better, but the only job my husband held over the past decade lasted for 6 months, and that was during our second year of marriage. 😕 I clearly didn't think that one through. Anyhow, I've found that it's important to be structured when it comes to money, but I also needed to change my attitude about it. That helped me to not feel defeated.

Money buys the luxury of having a choice.

It's only nicer with a bit of money if you have your loved ones as well

You can have lost your loved ones AND have no money. Its not either or.

If you're bereaved etc, the financial flexibility to take a long period off work etc can be helpful.

It doesn’t stop shit happening, but it makes it easier to deal with, most definitely.
We’ve had x3 ivf rounds in the last year, x2 private. I suffered a traumatic miscarriage from the second round, so we are now paying to get our frozen embryos pgt tested, so our money has given us that cushion.

We were also able to go abroad to recover after the miscarriage. I see a therapist. Private healthcare, dentistry, gym and pt memberships.

Money doesn’t stop trauma, losses, mental health issues etc but what it does for us is enable us to get through the crap times in a healthy, nicer way.

100% agree we have just downsized with multiple amounts of compromise for the financial buffer and lower overheads.

You really can't put a value or price on the daily relief waking up in a lovely tiny house knowing we don't have a massive debt.

We aren't retired etc just decided life was too short to be paying debts, and were willing to change.

I agree with you, based in my real life experience.

When I was scraping by from payday to payday I was constantly anxious, depressed, scared of suddenly needing a large sum and not having a chance of raising it. Scared my cat might need a vet. When I looked at my bank balance my stomach would churn with fear. I can still remember what it felt to plod around my local supermarket with just £5 to feed myself and my cat for a week. I was so distressed tears were running down my face. I bought an out of date white sliced loaf and a few packets of Knorr chicken noodle dehydrated soup to dip the slices in, and ate them every day. It was utterly horrible and miserable.

The anxiety caused insomnia, which added to how shit I felt all day every day.

Now I have accumulated a large sum in savings all that worry and misery has been lifted and I feel completely different. Secure. Safe. If an emergency happens, I can cover it.

Yes, it's true, it's mental health that suffers.

Agree with the majority of posters. Money can't cure all but it makes life a hell of a lot better.

It can't cure my DH serious life long illness, but it can buy us a cleaner & Ocado deliveries & other help to reduce our energy expenditure. As another example, We buy the best types of "fast passes" for days out etc so he doesn't have to stand in long queues. We stayed onsite at Disney Paris rather than getting the bus in - all of those things make life with serious illness much easier but wouldn't be possible without money.

I have chronic back issues and medicate with private osteopath, personal trainer etc.

Absolutely. The only people who say they never think about money are the ones who have lots of it. I nearly had a breakdown a few years ago because changing to being a single parent ruined me financially. It was so stressful it can make me feel ill just to think about it now even though it was many years ago. Having enough money to pay bills, eat and get a few extras can make a huge difference to your mental well-being without even being ‘rich’.

I would agree to a degree but it would depend upon the sacrifice i had to make to have that bit more money - how many hours would i have to work for example.

As long as i have enough to cover the bills and a little bit over i am happy - i would rather reduce my outgoings than work more hours to have more money.

But there is of course a point at which that would not be the case - going hungry and being cold for example.

Its a balance for me like most things in life.

Exactly. Pursuit of contentedness is fruitless.

People say "money isn't everything" but to be honest it's a miserable place to be when times are hard;

We have a lot less disposable income now than we did 2-3 years ago and it is hard prioritising things and trying not to get into debt.

I just wish I had say an extra £500 for some extra bits at Christmas so I'm going to make sure I put some more away for next Christmas 🎅 x

Are you somehow under the impression that people just choose not to be able to afford private medical treatment, perhaps they just have too much avocado and toast? DH's cancer treatment to date would cost approximately the same as our home and he's not even had surgery yet. To imply that being phenomenally wealthy is a good old fashioned family value is incredibly crass.

Anyway to answer the OP: 3 years ago I had no money and a healthy husband. Now I have quite a comfortable income but husband has cancer. Obviously if I had to choose one or the other I'd choose my husband's health but as cancer doesn't actually give you that choice I will have to be content with having enough money that I can buy healthy easy meals, not have to worry about the cost of driving him cross country to various hospitals, and start to think about maybe a holiday next year.

The difference in my mental health now that my financial position is better is like day and night. My financial problems ( caused by my now ex husband) turned me into an insomniac and at my lowest ebb even made me question if I could face life at all anymore. Now I'm single and don't have another person draining my account I can't tell you how much it's changed me. I feel like a different person. I can heat my home and get my hair and nails done and still afford to eat. I can treat myself to an indulgent coffee at Costa without looking at my bank account first. I'm not rich by any means but I have enough. Slightly more than enough I guess. That phrase 'money doesn't buy you happiness' really grates on me. Because when you have nothing and have red letters coming through the door and endless phone calls from creditors the stress is all consuming and in some cases genuinely life threatening. I would rather face the issues I have now with the heating on, watching Netflix with a takeaway and a nice glass of wine , than in a cold bare house without the comfort of even a cup of tea.

Having been, at times, on the bones of my arse skint and other times better off, I would completely agree. Money absolutely doesn’t make you happy but it does remove a lot of life’s stresses and strains. But, having said that, some truly wealthy people I know (as in multi millionaires) are not happy at all? Miserly, judgemental of anyone with less, scathing about anyone with more? Not nice to be around at all. I think too much money has the potential to turn some people into dicks!!!

Money buys security, stability and choice, all of which make life easier in my opinion.

As my late DF used to say, "money doesn't make you happy but it does allow you to be miserable in comfort".

Having been on the bones of our arses at times, now in a position where we are not rich by any stretch, bit can afford to do more of the nicer things in life, money definitely can make life more enjoyable.

For me, having enough money means there’s one less thing to think about
It also removes a lot of fear about things going wrong, we were poor from time to time growing up and even now if something breaks I get a bit of panic before realising I can call someone to repair it or get a new one

I grew up poor. Single mum working her ass off with three kids etc. swore I’d never be in that position. I worked my ass off at uni, always had a good job etc but married badly and exh always had us in debt, in and out of work etc that I spent half my adult life poor despite earning a good salary. I felt trapped and permanently anxious all the time as I carried the financial burden of managing our budget, feeding the kids, paying the mortgage etc.
fast forward to now and I’m out of that marriage and remarried to a financially stable and sensible man. The control over my life and my finances I have now is so precious to me. Not having to worry about the small things makes such a difference. And even when things are rough financially, having someone equal to share the burden and responsibility with is so refreshing.