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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I have moved my car? Parking thread!

63 replies

LG93 · 14/12/2022 12:03

So I had an altercation at the hospital this morning in the carpark with a man. It's a community hospital if that makes a difference (so nobody there is in a life or death situation, they only have minor injuries, outpatients, physio and scans etc) with a tiny car park which is almost always full. There are no arrows on the floor anymore so it's a bit of a free for all, but the 'aisles' are wide enough for 2 cars and so the general consensus seems to be you all drive around at random and then it's basically pot luck as to who happens to be near a space when it becomes empty, like a really dull and fuel wasting game of musical chairs.

I'd been driving round for about 10 minutes when as I got the end of an aisle, I saw a mum and child approaching their car in the space I was perpendicular to, so I reversed back out of their way and put my indicator on to signal I was going to pull in when they left.

Another car appeared the other side of them and pointed at the space in what I thought was an 'are you going in there' fashion so I signalled/mouthed yes I am, but he didn't move. The car pulled out and I pulled in, and the man jumped out and ran over to my car telling me that was his space . He said that he'd followed them as he came in the entrance round to their space and that therefore it's his space. I pointed out that I had also seen them coming and was by the car and was already indicating for the space before he even came into my view and so was entitled to park there ( obviously if he had been in view and indicating to the space already I would have been unreasonable to push into it first, but that wasn't the case) he started shouting why did I think that the rules didn't apply to me and that it didn't matter I'd been there longer, I deliberately didn't raise my voice but simply stated there are no 'rules' and I was entitled to park there, he then changed tact to yelling 'move your car' at me which I replied once to to say no, he then started saying 'well you might find your car blocked in when you come back ' by this time I was unloading my bag out the car and just said if that was the case I would get the security team involved when I returned to my car. I was shaking a bit at this point as felt quite vulnerable with my young baby in the back of the car too but focussed on not raising my voice or escalating the situation, and when it became apparent I wasn't moving (or he saw me get the buggy out, not sure which) he eventually got back in his car and continued driving round with everyone else. When I came back to the car after my appointment he was parked a few cars down.

I'm now wondering though if I was unreasonable and while I know there's no enforceable rules, have I broken car park etiquette? Surely if it was a thing that you followed people from the entrance, everyone would wait at the entrance to the car park and then drive in when they had a returner to follow?! Obviously if I had seen him waiting or he was already stationary when I got there it would have been different, but I also saw them returning to the car and was there first, even if I had seen him making his way to the space it would have been impossible to know that's where he was heading and not the exit from another space, surely it's just bad luck on his part (in the same way it was bad luck when I drove past a space only for them to pull out and the person who was behind me in the car park got it within seconds of them entering the car park)

So was I unreasonable? I've attached a diagram to try and show the layout if it helps at all!

Should I have moved my car? Parking thread!
OP posts:
SquirrelRed · 14/12/2022 12:07

That was definitely your space, he sounds like a horrible man and I'm glad you didn't back down

EndlessRain1 · 14/12/2022 12:09

The man was a dick and trying to intimidate you. Chances are if you had been a 6ft5 man he wouldn't have said a thing. You handled it well I think.

Cigarettesaftersex1 · 14/12/2022 12:09

Well you'd been there first and had been driving around longer than him so no, you weren't in the wrong

MangoBiscuit · 14/12/2022 12:09

It was your space, he was a dick.

MangoBiscuit · 14/12/2022 12:10

One day he will try that shit with someone who doesn't care about escalating, and he will probably end up getting punched.

Dotjones · 14/12/2022 12:14

There aren't any rules, the fact you were in the space means it was your space. If he could have got into the space before you it would have been his.

Hopeyoursproutsarealreadyon · 14/12/2022 12:19

He was a Ccf..
*Christmas cheeky fucker...

Wakeywake · 14/12/2022 12:20

He was a dick. I once had a man shout at me to get out of the space I had just parked in because he had dogs in the back of his van he had to walk. Not sure why that was any of my problem.

Maldedos · 14/12/2022 12:20

I sat waiting patiently for a car park space and as the driver pulled out a car zoomed alongside me and pulled into my space.
I told her that I worked at this particular surgery and had been waiting for the space and please move, she grumbled but she moved.
5 minutes later I called my first patient and the woman's face was a picture.
I was due to take her blood and she begged me not to hurt her for stealing my space.
I actually was worried that if I did hurt her she would think it was deliberate.

That guy will upset a staff member one day.
You were waiting for the space first, it was your space.

Honeyroar · 14/12/2022 12:22

You were there first, waiting before him. If there wasn’t a clear one way system there’s no way you could’ve been in the wrong. (If you’d nipped down a one way bit the wrong way to beat him to the space that would have been different). And his shouting “move your car” and threatening to block you just shows he’s a bully. I think you handled it perfectly.

Honeyroar · 14/12/2022 12:22

Stick him an anger management leaflet under his windscreen wiper before you leave!

Djchickpea · 14/12/2022 12:27

Nice diagram BTW

MrsMontyD · 14/12/2022 12:28

Good for you standing your ground, he's a nasty man who thinks he can tell women what to do. Absolutely 100% he wouldn't have tried it with a man.

I had someone try similar with me, when me and my mother got out of the car in a perfectly synchronised manoeuvre to ask his problem he quickly scuttled off.

LlynTegid · 14/12/2022 12:30

His behaviour makes him in the wrong.

The threat to back you in, pity you did not have his number plate, as that could be taken to be threatening behaviour. Whilst maybe not for the police, perhaps the community hospital should be aware in case he does that to others.

LlynTegid · 14/12/2022 12:30

block you in sorry

SlashBeef · 14/12/2022 12:33

Good on you for standing your groud but not escalating it. I would have probably cried 😄
PP is right that one day he'll wind up the wrong person!

Georgeskitchen · 14/12/2022 12:36

Nope, your space. Agreed with pp upthread, he wouldn't have acted that way if it was a bloke

NoSquirrels · 14/12/2022 12:37

He’s a bully. Pay it no mind. Sorry he was such a prick to you.

custardbear · 14/12/2022 12:40

You're correct! You were there and it's his bad cheese 😉

Jaybird43 · 14/12/2022 12:41

What an ass! You were fine OP, very restrained in your reaction! Try not to let it bother you any further - he was probably very stressed but he shouldn’t have spoken to you that way. Well done for standing your ground

TruffleShuffles · 14/12/2022 12:45

‘he started shouting why did I think that the rules didn't apply to me and that it didn't matter I'd been there longer’

He said it himself, you had been waiting longer so how on earth did he think he should have the spot over you?

Jb2182 · 14/12/2022 12:48

Fuck it, even if he was there first, you snooze you lose mate!!!

Clymene · 14/12/2022 12:48

It was your space and the man is a horrible bully

DuchessDandelion · 14/12/2022 12:50

I love that you used a ruler.

Bet dickface wouldn't have done.

Notjusta · 14/12/2022 12:52

Beautiful diagram OP! YADNBU. Sorry he was such a dick to you.

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