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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how did driving change your life?

108 replies

Ticketsto · 14/12/2022 10:02

Not really an AIBU just looking for encouragement/positive stories.

I’ve been putting off driving lessons for years. I’m such an anxious person! Getting the bus to work this morning instead of the train (due to industrial actions) made my journey so much longer and it’s made me think perhaps it’s time to reconsider… I don’t have children currently and DH can drive however we both work full time so I don’t rely on him for lifts

How has passing your test changed your life? Has it changed it positively? Thanks

OP posts:
gogohmm · 14/12/2022 10:05

Freedom! I passed age 35 and it's my biggest regret I didn't learn much younger

1stTimeMama · 14/12/2022 10:06

I can't imagine not driving. Positives include:
Being able to go almost anywhere, at any time.
Not relying on anyone for lifts.
Not having to use public transport, nor live according to their timetables.

To be fair, that's enough positives just there, it gives you all of the freedom!

onefedupmum · 14/12/2022 10:06

It hasn't really changed my life, I get anxious when driving as I had a big crash in my teens on the motorway with my DF.

But it does help, if the kids are poorly I can pop them in the car and take them doctors and stuff like that or collect them quickly from school. I have a free bus pass too and use the busses more than my car 😂

NotSorry · 14/12/2022 10:07

I come from a difficult background/childhood - I learned when I was 17 and for me, it was the freedom to escape what was going on at home

go for it @Ticketsto

lking679 · 14/12/2022 10:07

Yes it’s the freedom.
I drive an automatic it’s so much easier can you try automatic lessons? Lots of good cars available in automatic now!

RampantIvy · 14/12/2022 10:08

Far too many to mention. Public transport where I live isn't great, and the freedom to be able to go somewhere or leave somewhere when I want to leave means a lot to me. I hate feeling trapped and having to kill time because I have another hour to wait to go somewhere.

I can take recycling to the tip, go shopping when I want, visit family who live in the back of beyond, go on holiday to remote places and most of all I have my independence and am not reliant on someone else.

And this is without bringing children into it. Also, it isn't fair on DH if I couldn't share the driving on long journeys.

User1435 · 14/12/2022 10:08

It's a massive positive! I learnt at 29 and I can now visit family all over the country without worrying. During covid it was a lifesaver to avoid public spaces and still see my parents. Before kids it was fantastic to be able to go away every weekend on a whim if we wanted to. With kids it's essential, dragging them around on public transport every day must be stressful (saying that, kids actually love public transport, the stress is for the parents). The only place I don't drive is central london.

I was terrified to learn to drive but was basically forced to for a new job. You have to persevere if you are scared but it's so worth it, it gives you freedom and independence on a new scale. I learnt in an automatic for an automatic only licence. Def worth looking into, although I guarantee all the men in your life will look down on this as an option!

ArcticSkewer · 14/12/2022 10:09

Took my test just before having kids but didn't buy a car til I had the second. Sure, you can live without one but I wouldn't fancy having kids without a car unless I lived in London. Their public transport is subsidised to a higher level so it's possible to manage without a car.

PauliesWalnuts · 14/12/2022 10:09

It widened my world. I do a lot of cycling - that’s my primary mode of transport, but it’s allowed me to get an allotment and go walking further afield than I would be able to do otherwise. It also gives me more time back; less time on buses with big loads of shopping etc.

User1435 · 14/12/2022 10:11

Also, it's fun! When you are in the car by yourself you can get the music on and sing REALLY LOUDLY!

RosaCaramella · 14/12/2022 10:11

Like others have said - the freedom to go anywhere you like at anytime.

It is a costly business though and I’d say that once you are used to driving your own car, it would be very difficult to go without it.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 14/12/2022 10:14

I can’t imagine not being able to drive - I didn’t learn until my twenties and the sense of independence it gives you is second to none. It puts you in control of your life and opens up so many more options and choices to you. If I couldn’t drive my 30 minute commute, I would have to walk over 2 miles to the station, get the train to the next town (where I work) and then walk another mile to work. And yes, of course that’s do-able but it’s a ballache to factor it into what’s already a long day.

NoDramaMama12 · 14/12/2022 10:14

User1435 · 14/12/2022 10:11

Also, it's fun! When you are in the car by yourself you can get the music on and sing REALLY LOUDLY!

Hahaha this!

I was the first from my friends to pass and get a car.

Our favourite thing to do was go to McDonald's drive thru and sing along to our fav songs in the car. The car would be literally bouncing.

Now I do the same with my kids, but nursery rhymes instead 😂

Lcb123 · 14/12/2022 10:16

I passed age 17 but then didn't really drive for the next 10 or so years. Now I can drive DH work car, but honestly, I'd rather not. I'm so used to public transport, cycling and walking now, I find driving incredibly boring. And I have zero car expenses.

LiveAndLetLiv · 14/12/2022 10:18

I didn’t learn to drive until I was 32 and had just had my second child.

I had no interest in driving when I was young. Lived in London and used public transport or cabs. Never needed to drive.

Survived with one small child. Lots of schlepping on buses and relying on DH or my Mum for lifts, started to be quite annoying and I felt quite child like, but it was doable.

After second child was born, I realised I needed to drive. I didn’t want to rely on others to be able to get around. I also needed to face my fear of driving (was in a car accident in my teens which made me quite scared of driving).

It totally changed my life. On a practical level, I could schlep my kids around so much more easily. They’re teens now and throughout their childhoods, I cannot imagine how hard it would have been to not have a car. All the activities and clubs and trips and play dates etc etc.

The biggest benefit has been feeling much more capable, confident and like a proper grown up. I found learning to drive hideously hard and was very nervous for the first year or two after I passed my test, but getting to grips with driving has been one of the best things I have ever done for my confidence.

I also love the independence. I can jump in my car and just go whenever I want. I love that freedom.

Fidgety31 · 14/12/2022 10:18

I took my kids on a long road trip across the USA in the summer holidays . Wouldn’t have been able to have that holiday if I didn’t drive and it was the best holiday we’ve had

RampantIvy · 14/12/2022 10:20

Taking DD and DH to medical appointments, rushing DD to hospital in the middle of the night, taking DD to birthday parties, taking DD to university and collecting her, being able to volunteer at the charity I have joined, going to work - public transport would be 2 trains and a bus and take 2 hours, driving takes 30 minutes. Also, not being affected by transport strikes.

For me there are no negatives in driving, and many negatives in not driving. My life would be much smaller and insular if I didn't drive.

Kualma · 14/12/2022 10:20

I was the same OP. I learned to drive from the age of 17 and didn’t pass until I was 22 due to on-and-off lessons/anxious. Absolutely hated lessons so it was such a relief when I passed!

I passed my test shortly after graduating university and was offered a job based on whether I passed my test as it would be needed to meet clients no pressure at all.

Without having a license, I couldn’t have done my job I’m in now and I’ve progressed so much! It’s made it easier to see family and friends as I no longer live in the town I was raised in, the freedom I have that I can go out in my own accordance - not the buses/trains (though I love using the train), when DH & I first started dating he lived 20 miles away and the bus wasn’t frequent so our relationship couldn’t have worked if neither of us could drive and during the pandemic, it was unbelievably helpful for various reasons as using public transport was illegal unless it was for essential use! There are so many more and I often take it for granted that I can drive!

Definitely go for it OP. You have to try otherwise you’ll never know!

mondaytosunday · 14/12/2022 10:21

OMG freedom! I learned at 24. I lived in London and many people said 'oh you don't need a car there' but I tell you it suddenly cut my commute (to just outside London) in half, I wasn't a slave to train schedules, I could go out at night without the main preoccupation being how I'd get home...no more balancing the weekly shopping off my bicycle handlebars...
I did have rules though. No using the car if I could walk, try not to use it at weekends, etc.
Define toy a skill to have, even if you don't buy a car.

AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 14/12/2022 10:23

I passed at 17 so never really knew life without it but even then I could see that the 20 min drive to college vs the 90 mins 3 bus rides (at best) was better overall!

I can go where I want and when, if someone was taken ill I can drop them to hospital if need be, on holidays it's allowed me to drive in other countries and see things I wouldn't have done had I relied on organised tours etc. i don't have to rely on anyone else for things and I just think it's a really vital skills to have

Do it!

KimberleyClark · 14/12/2022 10:25

Passed my test aged 26.

It gave me confidence
Freedom to take myself wherever and whenever I wanted to go
Shortened my working day (much quicker to drive home than use public transport
And was a godsend when my mother became frail and in need of support.

Kualma · 14/12/2022 10:26

Oh and also having a full driving license is a fantastic form of ID. I know lots of places don’t accept a provisional license as a form of ID so saves carrying around your passport also cheaper to replace if you lose your license

LinesAndDot · 14/12/2022 10:27

I have learnt that there are some milestone steps in life that if you do at the ‘normal’ time, you kind of just keep moving forward in life and ‘adulting’ properly. Whereas if you miss them, or do them later than your peers, you can end up being abit stunted. It doesn’t mean you won’t have a rich, full life, just that with no driver’s licence you won’t buy the heavy items in stores, visit your friend in the hard-to-get-to area or take off for a weekend on a whim.

EG before I bought my house (when saving for a deposit) I didn’t spend much on takeaways or weekends away as I needed every cent for the deposit. Once I got the house, life is better and you can have the odd treat.

Examples include: having sex, getting a driver’s licence, buying a home, starting a pension, meeting someone, having a child, getting work qualifications (degree or other).

Just my view. I think you’ll be amazed at how your world will open up in little (and big!) ways once you have a driver’s licence.

chipsandpeas · 14/12/2022 10:28

like a lot of people its the freedom it brings when you have your own car, your not at the mercy of public transport and their schedules etc, you can go where you want when you want

Aposterhasnoname · 14/12/2022 10:28

Enabled me to get a job in a place that I couldn’t get to on time using public transport, I increased my salary by £10k when I took the job, and I’m now on treble what I was at the old job 8 years ago.