To ask how did driving change your life?

[Ticketsto]

Not really an AIBU just looking for encouragement/positive stories.

I’ve been putting off driving lessons for years. I’m such an anxious person! Getting the bus to work this morning instead of the train (due to industrial actions) made my journey so much longer and it’s made me think perhaps it’s time to reconsider… I don’t have children currently and DH can drive however we both work full time so I don’t rely on him for lifts

How has passing your test changed your life? Has it changed it positively? Thanks

I passed aged about 21/22, it changed my life overnight. I was a young single mum then and it meant I could drop my DD off at childcare and zip off to college (then uni), felt like the world was my oyster!!

Neither DH nor his ex drive so guess who comes off the bench to get DSD to class parties which are not directly beside a bus or train route?
My work is a 20 minute drive away but off the top of my head I'd be around 2/3 hours trying to get there on public transport. Clearly not doable when I also have two young children.
We had a bit of a road trip adventure for our family holiday this year. We started to price up doing it on the train as I didn't fancy driving around London. Didn't get a final number as it was headed towards 4 figures. We were less than £200 in petrol in the end and the drive was fine.

My one word is independence. Rather than freedom.

I’m 37 and started learning for the first time ever this summer. We moved to a more rural area and I wanted to be able to share the driving load with DH and take DS further afield on our days off together.

I found a nice patient instructor, and told myself “no pressure, no rush, it’ll take as long as it takes”. I’d say I’d probably need another 10-15 lessons to get test ready, and I annoyingly failed my theory test by one point(!) but I’m enjoying it.

It’s not nerve wracking at first, but a good instructor will take you to empty car parks and quiet roads at first, and you don’t have to prove anything to anyone: take all the time you need to learn; I am!

I learnt to drive....which meant I could get a better job that wasn't possible before due to location/childcare. Which meant we were able to afford a new bigger better house we had needed for a while.
It also meant that we could apply for a better school for DC which wouldn't have been possible to get to on public transport.
Also I started a hobby (again it's held in a location that isn't easily attended via public transport) which has helped me make friends and helps with stress level/mental health.

• it’s a bit nerve wracking, that should’ve said

Lucky for all those that medically can drive, I dépended on being able to for years, if medically you can’t ( ok I live with very good public transport), it’s very annoying.
Medically 18 maths down the line I can’t fix stuff it makes me very upset and angry

I don’t want to be the voice of doom and gloom, but feel like I should share my experience, which is different to most of the posts here.

OP you mention that you are an anxious person - so am I. And I realised just how anxious I was about driving when I started lessons. So anxious that I hated driving (constant fear of crashing or doing something wrong) and failed my test a few times aged 18-19. I then gave up trying to learn until I was in my thirties with two young children. Everyone told me how essential driving was, esp with children, and so I started lessons again and passed my test on the second attempt.

Fast forward a decade and…. I’ve barely driven since. I still hate it and get very anxious at the idea of driving. I really tried to get used to it and to challenge myself to drive my husbands car a lot after I passed, but no - it’s just not for me.

And so I’ve set my life up to work around not driving. I live in a very walkable city, and commute to work by train. Shops, schools, etc all within walking distance. Which works for me, and is infinitely preferable to driving and the anxiety it brings me.

OP I’m not saying you would definitely be like me! But I think it’s important to show there is a different experience to the ones I’ve read on this thread. Good luck with whatever you decide!

I passed in my late 30s,a couple of weeks ago! It's great! I have taken dc to parties, got myself to work rather than have a lift. It is 15 mins in the car but more than an hour on three buses or a train and a bus.

I am safe on the road and can control the car and am now improving on parking, tricky manoeuvres etc but I feel confident and am enjoying it. I spent years thinking that I would be no good, that I couldn't do it but I can. As well as any other driver on the road.

I did my motorbike test at 23 and loved the freedom to go where I wanted, when I wanted. And not to have to pay for parking.

I did my car test at 38, after I got married. I'd promised myself I'd do it before I was 30, but only had half a dozen lessons. I definitely appreciate having a car in the winter, for shopping, moving stuff etc. And definitely when I want to take my DD out.

She goes on my motorbike now, since the age of 7, she loves it.

I passed 1 month ago at 39. Honestly I wish I stuck at it years ago instead of letting nerves get to me. I have been walking to and from work at 4am and midnight for over 5 years. There are no buses at those times. Do it. You won’t regret it. I still get some nerves but once I get going it’s all good. And I’m now able to look for a job which won’t mean silly hours.

When I was 36 I decided to and was accepted to train as a nurse . I couldn’t drive but knew I needed to be able to do so , as getting to various placements for 7am would be impossible from my home address. Initially I spent 6 weeks at nurse training school with 9 am starts which I could get to by bus . I passed my test in week 4 of this training thankfully .
I am now 69 and disabled and need to drive so that I’m not relying on family to get anywhere.
Incidentally my DGD17 passed her driving test first time last Friday!

Driving completely changed my life at 17. It gave me independence from my parents although I still needed to use their car.
I can't imagine being reliant on other people for lifts and never being able to reciprocate/ offer to drive on a night out etc.

Being able to drive allows me to do the job I want (civil engineer, sites in many locations, usually remote); hobbies I want (hillwalking, mountain biking and other outdoor sports), and live where I want (countryside, varying degrees of remoteness),easily, without reliance on anyone else.

I passed my test age 29, having tried age 18 then put it off. . I was terrified and it took me several goes to pass. For me having DC and particularly being on mat leave would have been a nightmare without a driving licence.

As pp have said, being able to take young DC to the doctor/urgent care/hospital at short notice both day and night is invaluable. I've not had to do it often,. but its hugely less stressful knowing you can, especially in the middle of the night.

Public transport is rubbish where I live, local baby groups all tend to be in village/church halls and I wouldn't have been able to really go anywhere or see anybody on mat leave without a car.

Picking ill DC up from school/nursery would be a pain if I had to get to them and then take them home on public transport. Schools/nurseries generally want a fairly speedy pickup in such cases.

Other than having DC, there are lots of absolutely beautiful places in the country that you can visit or even live in if you can drive, where the public transport is awful.

I hate public transportation and depending on it and others to get around. It’s liberating and freeing to be able to come and go whenever I want to.

I passed my test and bought my first car at 18 so perhaps my view is skewed in that I’ve never not had a car, but I couldn’t imagine not being able to drive.

I don’t live in an especially rural area (on the boundary of a major city) and yet the public transport and infrastructure is dire. My children attend the nearest and our catchment primary school, but it’s 2 miles door to door, and all uphill on the way to school. It would take my youngest an hour to walk there and I really don’t have the best part of four hours a day to spend walking to and from the school.

I can’t think of any negatives to learning to drive.

It has given me freedom and independence. Life would have been far more difficult without a car. When my son was younger he had to have very regular hospital appointments at a hospital 45 miles away. To get there by public transport would take the best part of a day.
It has meant I can regularly visit my elderly parents --- again can't get to them on public transport.

I can just decide to go out for a day without preplanning how I get there on public transport.

And, I love driving!

When I got multiple public transport to work I constantly had colds. When I finally got my own car (could drive but didn’t bother getting a car) my health improved a lot. On the downside I didn’t have long commutes to spend reading 🤣

also having ability to drive I can go places I can’t get to easily/cheaply on public transport. Also better for doing grocery shopping, no walking 15 mins with heavy bags from the bus stop

I didn't learn until I had my first child. I had to wait for DH to have a day off to go to the supermarket or town because the buses back then were not set up for prams and I am disabled so wouldn't have managed to fold pram and manage baby with stuff on and off the bus. I did take her a couple of times by train but the station is a mile away and adding that walk in the start and end of a trip out was just far too much for me. As soon as I passed my test we went everywhere, literally. Then I had more children and I never would have managed multiple children and the school run without a car.

I was born and brought up in Australia and got my licence as a teenager. It meant that I could attend university which was over an hour's drive away and no direct public transport links. It meant that when the whim took me as a young adult I could get in my car and drive up to Queensland stopping at cheap motels.

As a parent it means I cna drive my Dcs to their school each day. The drive is 45 minutes one way (my work is a further 10 mins on from that) and public transport would be excess 90 minutes each way and the school bus is oversubscribed. It also means that our options for holidays are opened up- we frequently drive to see family in Northumberland (we are down south) and it means that a holiday taken next month can be doen either by car or train depending on what we feel like tta the time.

It is true freedom! It expands not limits options.

I love driving also. I put BBC radio 4 on for my commute home and feel re-connected to the world.

I got my license quite late on. Think I was 33 or 34.

It has made my life a lot easier. I also know that in an emergency I could drive someone to hospital etc. I take it on nights out when I'm not drinking alcohol so I don't have to worry about getting home safely. It means I have somewhere to put things. For example, today I'm working outdoors and have nowhere to put my handbag. Then I'm going straight from work, collecting the kids and taking them swimming and I have nowhere to store their swim things at work, so it all goes in my car. If I'm going somewhere indoors, I can wear the shoes I want to wear instead of needing to check the weather and only wearing waterproof shoes I can walk in.

The downside is that I am getting a bit lazy with it and need to find an alternative form of exercise. I used to walk everywhere.

I passed with no minors, still felt too anxious to drive for 8 years. I started "relearning" when I had my baby and now have my own car. I love it. I love driving, I love the freedom and convenience. Do it, op. Learn, pass, and practice straightaway afterwards too. You can do it.

Freedom.

Saved a fortune in taxi fares.

Meant I could comfortably keep my job after baby. Bussing to nursery, train to work etc and doing shifts at the time was not it 🥺.

Now I can easily chauffeur her to her clubs and other activities and get myself everywhere easily.