Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

To ask how did driving change your life?

108 replies

Ticketsto · 14/12/2022 10:02

Not really an AIBU just looking for encouragement/positive stories.

I’ve been putting off driving lessons for years. I’m such an anxious person! Getting the bus to work this morning instead of the train (due to industrial actions) made my journey so much longer and it’s made me think perhaps it’s time to reconsider… I don’t have children currently and DH can drive however we both work full time so I don’t rely on him for lifts

How has passing your test changed your life? Has it changed it positively? Thanks

OP posts:

KimberleyClark · 14/12/2022 10:30

I missed the most important one, leaning to drive enabled me to meet my DH of 32 years.

Spliffle · 14/12/2022 10:31

I 2nd freedom. I could go to all the awkward places quickly that public transport doesn't necessarily serve. and fill up the boot with flowers from far away garden centres

JustLurkingAway · 14/12/2022 10:32

OP I was in a similar boat to you around 2 years ago, passed my test last year. I didn't really realise how much difference it had made until my car had to go in for some repairs a few months ago and I had to go back to Ubers/buses for a bit.

The freedom of being able to go anywhere anytime without planning in bus/train times is amazing!

Far outweighs the anxiety I used to have over driving.

WalkingOnSonshine · 14/12/2022 10:32

I passed at 18 but didn’t have the opportunity to drive and it developed into a real phobia.

I lived in a lot of places and convinced myself that I was ok walking or getting public transport. It got harder and harder as we moved to more suburban areas & had a child.

I bought an automatic in the summer and just started driving locally. I hated it at first and still am not the biggest fan. I don’t drive every day but maybe 3-4 times a week on short journeys, whether it’s nursery or town.

It’s had an impact on DH in that I can drop him at the station now or he can have a drink if we do go out (I don’t really drink).

I’m glad I did it, it’s still not my favourite thing to do, but it’s improved our standard of living and I’m proud I’ve not gone another year without trying.

Nsky62 · 14/12/2022 10:33

Gave me the freedom in my early 20s, and needed it when my sons were young, hospital visits frequently, and then work at unsociable hrs
Now I face giving up due to 3D eye issues, despite being optically correct, which is very upsetting ( meds helped slightly for Parkinson’s).
I’m a pottering driver and hate motorways, I just want my freedom back, tho highly unlikely

iratepirate · 14/12/2022 10:35

I think a lot of it depends on where you live. I grew up somewhere where there wasn’t any public transport available, so learning to drive was the only way I could do anything outside of my village eg work or see friends.

IntentionalError · 14/12/2022 10:35

I passed my test when I was 18. Driving was seen as essential because we lived in a small town with poor transport links, and cars were the best method of getting around. I now live in a village, and I simply cannot imagine not having the freedom, safety, independence & convenience which comes with owning my own car.

Moonlightsonatas · 14/12/2022 10:36

Driving is so much cheaper than public transport and far more reliable where I live. My commute would take 2 hours each way by bus/train (if I’m lucky) but less than 1
hour door to door driving.

I can visit my friends and family easily, as everyone is more spread out. I can pop out at any time to run errands or pick up the kids from nursery.

Hoppinggreen · 14/12/2022 10:38

It was so long ago I can’t remember BUT once DD turned 17 we offered to arrange driving lessons but she was unsure. She suffers badly from anxiety and lack of confidence but agreed to try. She had 2 lessons and then got very upset and said she would never be able to drive and it sent her into a bit of a downward spiral.
She reluctantly agreed to try again with a different instructor and just clicked with him from the start, she has her test booked for early next year and is very excited about driving. She has been looking at cars to buy and comes in from her lessons really pumped up. It has also given her confidence in other areas of her life too - she is really good at something she thought she would never be able to do and is making plans for next year based around the fact that she won’t have to rely on public transport

dreamingofsun · 14/12/2022 10:38

if my car is out of action its a nightmare. i cant do 2 of my hobbies, or the food shop, or visit places locally. basically it feels a bit like being in lockdown again. it would have also limited my job opportunities if i couldnt drive - so we would be significantly poorer.

shivbo2014 · 14/12/2022 10:40

I'm very anxious and never needed to drive growing up in London and not having kids. Once I moved out a bit further and had kids, I decided I needed to drive. I drive an automatic which is a lot easier. Its totally changed my life, I cannot imagine trying to get the kids, to parties, play dates, after school activities without driving it would be impossible! It's just nice having that freedom to go places and not relying on public transport.

showysnowy · 14/12/2022 10:41

It's given me freedom when I passed at 17 and now I'm 35, with children it's comfort and freedom again. My boot is like a wardrobe with spare clothes for the kids, potty, pushchairs, scooters. I live in London and I still drive. It's all well and good for public transport but I'm sure fellow commuters would appreciate me not joining them with a big pushchair and kids on tow with their scooters, lunch boxes etc plus I still have to walk even if I did take the bus or the tube with no lifts. I'm sure the kids will appreciate it especially in the cold weather and when it's pissing it down. Also I'm not stuck in the same locality and I can just chuck the kids in the car and take them to the countryside whereas if I relied on public transport it would cost me more time and money than fuel.

My friend never got her licence (in London) as she always said she never needed it in London but she moved outside of the m25 and now has a baby and regrets the choice as there's nothing to do in her town and she feels pretty isolated. Her support network is London and her DH works so now she has decided to take some lessons in the evenings as soon as her DH is back from work so she can get her licence. For me personally there's far too many pro's.

2chocolateoranges · 14/12/2022 10:41

I started taking lessons at 25 and passed when I was 26. It’s given me so much freedom, our children have had so many opportunities to visit place, take part in clubs and make memories with me being able to drive. I also have been able to get my dream job in a place I wouldn’t have even considered before if I couldn’t drive as it would mean 2/3 buses to get there.

being able to drive just opens up your world to new opportunities.

dh was able to drive and I didn’t feel the need to drive until I had my ds then getting 2 buses to my mums. When my children were little you had to take them out the pram and fold it to carry on and it was a nightmare. Life is easier being able to drive.

Giggorata · 14/12/2022 10:42

So much of what has already been said, but mainly the freedom to go anywhere, whenever I want.
Spontaneity, comparative safety and widening of options, work, leisure, holidays, you name it.

Even now, when we're both retired, we still have a vehicle each.
I'd sell (wracks brain for anything of value) my jewellery, my antiques, my soul before I'd let go of my van.

Pinkyrinkydinky · 14/12/2022 10:45

It means you have independence, not relying on others to take you places. Go where you want, when you want. I could give you loads of examples where even my own family members have on the very rare occasions I have asked for a lift made excuses/refuse.

Spudina · 14/12/2022 10:45

I passed at 18. It’s the freedom that I enjoy. Just being able to hop in the car and go anywhere without any kind of planning. It’s made life with two small DDs so much easier. I also see all the time, that my older cancer patients often have a spouse (usually the women) that can’t come and visit them as often as they would like as they have no one to bring them. As such, I think it’s a really valuable life skill.

neverbeenskiing · 14/12/2022 10:46

The thing is, when you can't drive you convince yourself its not a big deal because you've never known any different, but once you're driving you'll wonder how you managed before! I put it off for far longer than I should have, but can't imagine not having the freedom of driving now. I really regret not learning as soon as I was legally able to. My working day is shorter so I have more free time and I love being able to come and go as I please without having to rely on anyone else or check train/bus times. I can be more spontaneous than when I was dependent on public transport. Being able to pop out and get something I need in just a few minutes is great.
I also love not having to wait around on freezing cold train platforms or at bus stops in all weathers, just jump in my car and off I go. Not to mention not having to deal with pervy men, drunk people, teenagers blasting music, manspreaders, people eating smelly food and all manner of other antisocial behaviour you get on trains and buses.

MintyGreenDreams · 14/12/2022 10:47

I passed 2 years ago at 41 and it did change my life.
No more winter school runs on foot being able to pop here and there just because I wanted to.
Visiting my parents in the next village.
Basically not relying on anyone for transport.
It's amazing!.

Legallypinkish · 14/12/2022 10:48

I don’t know any different. I started lessons on my 17th birthday and passed 3 months later, that was over 35 years ago. I have friends my age that never learned and are happy getting public transport or their partners drive. I’ve booked lessons for my daughter to start on her 17th birthday mostly due to the job she wants to do when college finishes.

Picklypickles · 14/12/2022 10:48

I passed my test at 17 and got my first car at 19 because I was starting a job that would have been difficult to get to by bus as we live in a rural location so I'd have needed to be up stupidly early in the morning to get the little village bus to the next village before catching another bus into the city centre, then another bus to the suburb where the office was and that bus wouldn't have gone the whole way so I'd have had to walk about a mile uphill after catching 3 buses! Took me half an hour to get there in the car!

It was great having the freedom to just be able to get to places in my own time, getting to places I'd never have been able to go without needing someone else to take me. I drove to Glastonbury festival with a friend, we got there when we wanted to and left when we needed to without having to wait around on trains/buses etc. I drove to Dover to get the ferry to France one year for my birthday, and another year to Ireland! My friends who didn't drive never did anything like that, they were always reliant on other people taking them anywhere.

PosiePerkinPootleFlump · 14/12/2022 10:49

It will also be positive for your DH. I know you don't rely on him for commuting etc but nonetheless there must be times when it is depressing for him that he is the only driver and has to do all the driving on holiday, always drive back from nights out etc. Much more balanced to be able to share it

BellePeppa · 14/12/2022 10:53

Although I did learn to drive I could never get past my high anxiety when driving so gave up. I hate the fact that I don’t drive but even now, years after giving up, if I’m in someone’s car and imagine it’s me driving I freak out inside so I know I’d still be in the same boat if I drove now. I think people who are love driving are very lucky.

MardyMincepie · 14/12/2022 10:54

I passed my test at 21, I couldn’t afford lessons before. It enabled me to do some difficult commutes. It also enabled me to drive all the way from near Sheffield back home to the South coast multiple times over last 25 years. I was a hardcore hiker when younger, you need to be able to get to the start of a route and a bus ain’t going there anytime soon. Also meant I could hire cars overseas and get to hard to reach destinations. On long journeys such as Midlands to Scotland or from Chicago to St Louis DH and I could share the driving.

On public transport people always speak to me, my Mother and one of my sisters was the same, people now gravitate towards DS. No idea why and whilst it has made for some interesting conversations thinking of a guy that had been in a Lancaster bomber in WWII and drunk Swedish aeronautical engineers it has also meant people telling me some rather weird and upsetting stuff.

Xiaoxiong · 14/12/2022 10:56

I learned at 18 but didn't have/need a UK licence until 27 when DS1 was born. It's an incredibly useful skill. I never bothered learning manual, went straight to automatic as it's much easier.

So many posts on here I read from women whose lives are unreasonably difficult because they don't drive, it's really difficult if you're held hostage by poor bus services. I think that outside of a couple major cities it's really an essential skill to have.

MardyMincepie · 14/12/2022 10:56

Plus when retirement happens which will be within around 5 years we are buying a motorhome and travelling around Europe. We will also be going to America and doing the same, we have relatives all over America as two of my brothers emigrated there around 30 years ago.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5