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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to bin DD's present

121 replies

CanStopWillStop · 13/12/2022 23:27

A friend gave DD a gift for her birthday yesterday. It's a Christmas dress. Not particularly keen on it tbh, but I always appreciate any gifts for my kids and will almost always take a picture of the kids in the outfit, or bring the kids to see said friend wearing their gifted outfit.

The issue I have is the dress has a huge security tag on it. I don't believe my friend would have stolen it, but not sure what to do.

The tag is in a very obvious/uncomfortable place so DD can't wear it or even try it on really. I don't think I can donate a dress which has a security tag, and I feel awkward telling my friend as I don't want her to try to fix the situation by taking it back etc. It also feels wasteful to bin it, but not sure what to do without a receipt or asking for one. I've never taken a security tag off an item before, wouldn't even know where to start or if it's ethical.

Halp lol.

OP posts:
Poppyblush · 13/12/2022 23:28

Just tell the friend!

WetBandits · 13/12/2022 23:29

Why wouldn’t you just tell her so she can produce the receipt, it can be taken back to the shop for the tag to be removed or just refunded and left there

PacificallyRequested · 13/12/2022 23:29

Just tell your friend, why wouldn't you?! Much better option than binning a perfectly good dress.

ABigSalad123 · 13/12/2022 23:29

Could you talk to your friend about it?

Cas112 · 13/12/2022 23:30

Tell the friend so she can get it taken off obviously Confused

belowfrozen · 13/12/2022 23:30

Or take it to the shop and ask to remove. It does happen

gorillalala · 13/12/2022 23:32

If you don't want to tell her, then just take it off yourself. It's easy, just YouTube it. I've done it a few times when the shop haven't removed the tag and I didn't want to make a trip back. You cut off the 'nub' bit and then take the magnet and ball bearings out. Google it.

Mythril · 13/12/2022 23:32

Just tell your friend. If she went to the trouble of buying the dress, I'm sure she would like your DD to be able to wear it.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 13/12/2022 23:32

I don't know why this is even an issue?
Shops leave tags on all the time. You just tell your friend to take it back and have it removed. Or go yourself - they probably will just remove it.

NoSquirrels · 13/12/2022 23:32

Literally the only reason not to say anything to your friend is if you suspect they have stolen it.

Do you think they have stolen it?

FTMFML · 13/12/2022 23:33

Youtube!

cathcath2 · 13/12/2022 23:33

Just ask your friend. I have bought a clothing item where they messed up and didn't remove the security tag (it didn't set off the alarms when I left the store so I didn't notice until I got home). I took it back with the receipt and they removed the tag.

Noodlehen · 13/12/2022 23:34

This is the most ridiculous post.

either tell the friend, or take it to the supermarket when you do your next food shop, explain the situation and ask them to take it off for you.

clearly if your friend had stolen it she would have made sure to remove the tag before gifting it 🙄🙄🙄🙄🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

Frapped · 13/12/2022 23:35

I think the op doesn't want to send the friend back to have the tag removed for a dress she doesn't even want. I'd feel the same. Lots of time wasted for the friend.

SirenSays · 13/12/2022 23:35

Shop staff sometimes forget to remove them. Give it back to the friend to sort or look online, there loads of videos of how to remove them. I ruined a bread knife cutting one off a bottle from Asda.

Original poster
CanStopWillStop · 13/12/2022 23:36

NoSquirrels · 13/12/2022 23:32

Literally the only reason not to say anything to your friend is if you suspect they have stolen it.

Do you think they have stolen it?

Truthfully I am not sure, they have a history but I don't think she would steal my DD's gift.

OP posts:
iamjustwinginglife · 13/12/2022 23:36

I once bought a coat from sports direct for my daughter and they didn't remove the tag...and I couldn't find the receipt. I watched a "How to" clip YouTube and wrestled the tag off with pliers!!

...but ideally, I'd just tell my friend!!

BamBamBilla · 13/12/2022 23:37

Have you got a magnet?

Original poster
CanStopWillStop · 13/12/2022 23:38

Frapped · 13/12/2022 23:35

I think the op doesn't want to send the friend back to have the tag removed for a dress she doesn't even want. I'd feel the same. Lots of time wasted for the friend.

This also. I appreciate her sentiment, but I would only be getting the tag removed and putting DD in the outfit for her benefit as it's a 'novelty' dress.

OP posts:
FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 13/12/2022 23:38

If you don't want to tell your friend then just take it off with a pair of pliers. Get a good grip on the little cap side, pull and wiggle till the metal snaps.

I had to do it a couple of months ago when I used the self serve without realising the top had a tag on it. Nothing beeped to alert me so only noticed it when I tried it on at home and wasn't doing a 30 min drive back to the shop and then 30 minutes back home for a £10 top.

Kanaloa · 13/12/2022 23:39

This actually happened to me once, in T.K Maxx. I bought a little dress for DD and when I went to show it to DH realised there was a security tag on. I took it back the next day with the receipt and the girl just said ‘oh sorry, the baby stuff doesn’t always have tags’ and she took it off.

But if this friend ‘has a history’ of stealing… sometimes the most obvious answer is really the correct one, isn’t it?

Original poster
CanStopWillStop · 13/12/2022 23:44

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 13/12/2022 23:38

If you don't want to tell your friend then just take it off with a pair of pliers. Get a good grip on the little cap side, pull and wiggle till the metal snaps.

I had to do it a couple of months ago when I used the self serve without realising the top had a tag on it. Nothing beeped to alert me so only noticed it when I tried it on at home and wasn't doing a 30 min drive back to the shop and then 30 minutes back home for a £10 top.

It's times like this I wish I had a DH with a toolkit 😅or better yet, my own. Unfortunately we only have screwdrivers and misc allen keys. Ironically the person I would ask for tools is the friend in question lol

OP posts:
BabyOnBoard90 · 13/12/2022 23:47

YABU.

This is a problem you're creating for yourself

Toddlerteaplease · 13/12/2022 23:47

Just tell her, she can take it back and get it removed. Hopefully she still has the receipt.

Postgraddope · 13/12/2022 23:49

I have had security tags left in and have always just taken the item to the shop . My daughter bought me a bag lat Christmas from next and I just took it back and got it removed. Certainly didn’t occur to me that she had stolen it ,seems a strange thought to have .