To think this isn't an acceptable way to talk about a child with sen?

[Hattymealy]

this was written by my sons class teacher for his ehcp annual review- ds is 9 and has adhd combined type and autism.

"Social/emotional/behavioural Development-

Behaviour during lessons - complete refusal if he does not want to be involved, this can lead to him exiting, singing over the top of the adults, starting a very different activity of his own choosing Etc.
He will get up and walk in front of an adult making an input- he has no care for the learning of others. Often, he will decide whether he believes a lesson is worth his time based on the initial input, if not then he leaves. Unless it is Art or something based around line drawing, in which case he is all in. If it is a lesson that he believes is "worth it' then he will focus and engage for a period and contribute but at the expense of others. He has a very inflated sense of worth. "

to me this reads like he's choosing to have the difficulties he does and that he basically just thinks he's better than everyone and above school work, and like she is making completely unfounded assumptions about his motivations. Baring in mind the opinion of professionals that have assessed him is that he has very low self esteem which is a large part of his struggles with engaging. He also cries about school almost every single night because he can't cope with the environment at all and it and it makes him feel stupid. I've asked him why he doesn't go in the class much and his answer was "nerves kick in and I can't" So to see him being described as having an inflated sense of worth is very upsetting that they can misunderstand him so much.

We as a society are allowing this to happen. It ruins the lives of the most vulnerable children in our society and disrupts the education of others in the class. Ultimately many prefer to blame disabled children than the lack of funding and wider culture which causes these problems.

This child is not having his needs met and is then blamed for how he behaves as a consequence. The teachers commentary is appalling. Very sad.

Totally this!

Directing our fury at how an adult has selected words to describe the outcomes of this systemic failure is a waste. It’s a small piddle that we are wiping up while an ocean rolls in the background.

Direct our anger at where it needs to be directed - at the system that actively prevents a child receiving the support they need in a setting that is suitable for them, with staff with high levels of specialist training.

Puddle, obviously.

It’s stated factually and that can be hard to read. The inflated self worth is her opinion, she is entitled to that and if she thinks she should put this in the report she can. It’s not nice to read, but children with sen also have very individual personalities as we all do, they are not always angels and have their own characteristics and flaws as we all do.

@cantkeepawayforever I wholeheartedly agree with everything you say on this thread.

No, she’s definitely not entitled to her opinion on a SEN referral! She looks unprofessional and ridiculous.

No she isn't entitled to that. She is a paid professional in a position of care. The child is entitled to a teacher that at a minimum understands that his behaviour in that environment is not a choice but a result of his needs not being met.

If she lied and said he was an angel all lesson then he would not get taken seriously and her would not be given any help.

He’s not controlling when to toe the line though. Your posts are so ignorant of SEN, it’s bizarre to me that you keep spouting this bollocks. His needs aren’t being met, his teacher slagging him off on his referral documentation is just her being ridiculous and nothing more.

Surely she means he doesn't understand the lesson is not all about him and tries to do what he wants, to the point of thinking he can talk over her, which kind of indicates he believes what he wants/ has to say is of more worth than the lesson. Maybe he can't help it but that is his belief, he does not understand the social hierarchy and how to behave at school? Because of his autism.
I think you are reading into this too much. Also if you are considering specialist schools the behaviour must be extreme or him be very behind academically. It is not offered lightly at all, mainstream is the standard even with student support spaces in addition.

@Hattymealy, I am sorry your son has disability, but his behaviour is bad in his school setting if he sings every time an adult is trying to talk to the class. My own 2 sons had ADHD and their behaviour at school was also very bad. I felt terrible they prevented others from learning. They both got EHCP and 1 got 10 hours 1-1. I felt guilty because I refused for him to have Ritaline until he was 11. With hindsight I should have agreed far sooner as once he had the medication his behaviour improved and he could focus on learning but he was so far behind by then he could not catch up. With second son I agreed when he was 7 and his behaviour improved so much. First son left school with only Btech ICT worth 4 x GCSE at C and a D in Maths. Second son managed 9 x GCSE with 1 A*, 1 A, 7 xB and 1 x C. Just wondering if your son is medicated for ADHD?

@CarefreeMe you don't sound like you know anything about ND conditions. If you did you'd know that an inappropriate environment causes problem behaviours in autistic children. How ignorant can you get? 🤬

I didn't say he's a perfect angel.
if he does that then it's news to me because his teacher or any other teacher have never said he does anything like that to me.
This bit
" And it’s obviously not just his SEND as he behaves when he’s doing something he enjoys like drawing."
is beyond ignorant because he doesn't actually join in with art lessons he just does drawing and what he does is either blue prints of plans or 100 pictures of the titanic- which he does sat at a table in the corridor OUTSIDE the classroom. Drawing like this doesn't require any of the skills that joining in either other lessons require

You felt terrible that they stopped others from learning? Instead of feeling terrible that your own children were being forced into a system that couldn’t meet their needs? I genuinely pity you, in that case. You should have cared more about your own kids.

He doesn't sing every time an adult talks- that would be impossible because he is outside of the classroom about 90% of the time.

But the report the teacher had made says if it is an art lesson or line drawing he is ‘all in’ and ‘will contribute’ in the class. So are you suggesting basically the whole report is a fiction coloured by her dislike of your child?

Also if you are considering specialist schools the behaviour must be extreme or him be very behind academically.

That's not correct. Ds attends a specialist school, has no challenging behaviours and has 10 GCSES including 5 grade 9's.

@Hattymealy you should have posted on the SN thread. There are some horrible people on
This thread who know F all about ND conditions. People like this think they are immune to disability.

I think this is part of the problem, too many unmet needs in the same class

An EHCP needs to have the unmet needs included so they can get appropriate support going forward. It isn't his fault but obviously he needs support within a school environment as he is struggling and so will his class mates because of his behaviour due to these struggles. EHCP are meant to be brutal as this is the only way the child gets the funding or placement needed. I hate writing then as feel like you have to focus on every negative rather than on the positives.

It could easily mean that the class goes to an art specialist, which he misses, but then joins in with the occasional art lesson in class ie if they’re doing a time filler.

At no point has the OP said they believe the son to be perfectly behaved, so I’m not sure why you would claim they have?

Honestly? It reads like she knows full well she has to be brutally honest about his behaviour and the impact it has on his peers, to make sure he actually gets the support he needs.

If she writes it like he isn't any trouble at all etc, he will never get support, even if he isn't achieving his potential, because it will be perceived that he can cope without support.

It reads like she wants it crystal clear that he isnt coping & is not having his needs met.