To think buying a Bible is not the same as forcing religion on a child?

[Popcornn]

For context: I am not religious, however I have always been of the mindset that religion is a personal thing and that it should be up to an individual to decide what they believe.

DD recently started going to a CofE school. She has been learning about Jesus and the Nativity and has always been a very curious child. She has lots of questions Christianity that I didn't feel qualified to answer because I didn't learn these things due to a very anti-religious family. So when I saw a children's Bible in a bookshop the other day I decided to buy it. My intention being to read through it alone first and then if questions came up again we could look at it together and discuss it. My DP didn't like this because although he agrees that it should be DDs choice, he feels like it's forcing it on her and that these questions could've easily been answered at school.

I want DD to continue to be curious and to feel comfortable asking these questions at home. I'll always do what I can to help her learn about the things that she's interested in, even if it's not necessarily what I believe. But DP thinks I've crossed a line. AIBU?

It’s just a book with stories like any other, some of the stories are great and I say this as an atheist.

Agree with this. What’s your husband doing exactly to help your child make her own mind up? Waiting for you to provide the perfect ‘non-biased’ book for her?

If he wants her to make her own mind up, he should be talking to her about what he believes and why, and talking to her about what other people believe and why, and showing her how to make her own mind up based on her values and her brain and her experience of life. Not just sitting back with his arms folded going “well the Bible’s got Christianity in it.”

I've got bibles, a Qu'ran, Torah, books on Buddhism, Paganism, Greek and Roman mythology, Shintoism, Taoism and multiple other books relating to the belief systems of the world. It's absolutely fascinating. I also have qualifications in Art, Music, English Literature, Law and History, all of which were massively helped by understanding the background, context and shorthand of particular religions.

None of it has done anything to make me catch faith of any description. Unless you count the story of creation as told by Richard Adams in Watership Down. That's the best version of all.

I grew up in a family in which my mum believed (and took me to church) whilst my dad didn't.

I loved my children's bible, as the stories are amazing.

I have never been anything other than agnostic, because I knew that it was my choice, just as it was my dad's choice, what to believe. I think it is seriously unlikely that your daughter will think the bible is absolutely true because school told her it was fact, if it is presented as a belief at home. Especially if she has studied other religions. Indeed, not all Christian's believe absolutely all of the bible is literally true - many think that genesis is a metaphor and/or pick and choose a bit (Old Testament esp), given that the bible is a product of a rich storytelling tradition and its time. Knowing bible stories helped me massively in literature, general knowledge, history.

She may be asking for the bible simply because she is aware that some other kids have heard stories already - if she is bright and curious, she will know when others have more detailed knowledge of a story that she is hearing for the first time and might want to fill in blanks. That doesn't make her on any particular path.

Alongside a children's bible, maybe an introduction to other world religions would help?

Ex RE teacher here @Popcornn .

This is how I approached it. These are stories told by people trying to make sense of the world they lived in. They didn't have the science we have now, and their thinking was very magical - but people all over the world were doing the same thing, trying to make sense of what happened to them (like "why do bad things like Floods happen?") most of the time they thought some mysterious power must have caused it, and often because they must have done something wrong and were being punished by the powerful beings called gods. The people who wrote the bible believed that their god was the only real one and that other peoples gods were fake.

The stories they thought made more sense were written down and saved, along with other things like songs. Not all of the stories agree with each other, because they were written by different people at different times, so it's more like a library of books than one book.

I used to get one half of the class to read genesis ch1 and the other half to read ch2v4 onwards. Write down the order in which god created the universe and the things in it 😎 - two different stories, reverse order, right next to each other. Ch1 is a temple hymn, with a chorus.

In my experience children are perfectly capable of a critical analysis of religious texts, they can appreciate the world view and understanding of the people who wrote it without having to believe it, just as they can read the stories of the Greek myths.

Myths are stories written by people trying to makes sense of why things are happening to them. You don't have to set it up as a "true vs false" dichotomy, just get them interested in literature, stories and people. So much of our history, art, literature, relies on knowing these bible stories.

One problem you MIGHT have with a "children's bible" is that it's obviously heavily edited - if the editor / publisher is deeply religious then the editorial bias will show that in the way the stories are presented. Remember these are all translations anyway from Hebrew & Greek, and different English translations will have made their own decisions about some of the more difficult text.

The OP's child has shown an interest in Christianity, not Judaism or Islam.

If your child showed an interest in learning the guitar, would you:
a) look into arranging guitar lessons?
b) refuse point blank to arrange guitar lessons, because that would be like forcing the guitar on them?
c) allow them to learn guitar, but also insist that they learn thr flute, trumpet and drums? Because there's plenty of other instruments out there, so your child needs to be exposed to all of them at once for balance?

OP, welk done, the children's Bible sounds like a lovely gift for your child

Buy her a real bible and she'll be asking you about onanism before too long!

Our whole family is atheist but we have children's bibles and Quran's and our children occasionally go to church with Scouts. We Home Educate and use a USA Christian Curriculum - as it provide a comprehensive education - 3 structured lessons a week in both maths and language arts from reception to age 18 for free.

We are confident enough in our atheism not to worry.

You are sending her to a religious school. Buying the bible is the least of your worries when it comes to indoctrination in fact you are already forcing religion on her just by sending her to that school.

But it’s unlikely she will, because her school won’t encourage these.

her school is driving her exposure to religion.
why did you and your DP decide to send her there?

I think you and your DH could clarify the extent to which the school is indeed teaching your child the Bible stories as factual. Is it a young-earth-creationist, all-non-believers-will-perish-for-eternity sort of factual, or is it a we ought to be grateful for the harvest each year and behave like the Good Samaritan sort of factual?

A good interfaith type of book alongside a bible sounds like a good idea, as then your child can see that the Christian path is one path among many.

If he doesn't want her learning religion why is he having her go to a religious school?

Because in the UK state schools are overwhelmingly church of England. Particularly true if you live in villages or rurally.
The five schools within driving distance of us are all church of England, so the choice is home school or pick the least worst.
This is why religious schools should all be private and be a true choice.

Yes correct but he does realise they learn religion there doesn't he?

Yes I imagine that he thinks doing it at home is re-enforcing it. A bit like Sunday school.

Both dad and mum need to pull their finger out and be an active part in their child's spiritual and literary education. Not knowing the answer is not a good enough excuse in the age of Google.

Particularly when the answer usually boils down to control of the population and patriarchy.

Because in the UK state schools are overwhelmingly church of England.

@YouScumbagYouMaggotHeresKevinTheCarrot I think you mean "In England", not "In the UK".

Possibly. Is there anything to hint that the UK is not in England though? Or could you not resist the opportunity to be a pedant across two threads?
The point stands.

Agreed with other posters that a book about different religions in general probably would have been better. I think it’s important children are presented with all the options, rather than just Christianity.

I received a book of Bible stories for my son from a well meaning relative when he was a baby, but I read through it and don’t like how it’s presented as fact, so we did not use it.

This thread has made me think, perhaps I’ll get my son a book on different beliefs when he’s old enough to understand.

Sorry, care to clarify your "two threads" comment?

Of course England is in the UK. But there is a huge chunk of the UK where Church of England schools do not even exist, and where in fact 85% are completely non-denominational. England being in the UK doesn't change that your statement is wrong.

A bible is a religious text. I wouldn't buy one for my children unless they specifically asked for one. We aren't Christian and I don't particularly want them to become Christian (although i wouldn't actively block them exploring anything in their teens etc).

Ps agreed that I'd buy a childrens book with info on lots of religions.

Because in the UK state schools are overwhelmingly church of England. Particularly true if you live in villages or rurally.The five schools within driving distance of us are all church of England, so the choice is home school or pick the least worst.

This.... i don't like religion in schools but had no choice where i live.

My comment was intended for those international users, like the USA, who clearly will not understand religious schools beyond a private choice.

Seeing as it's a UK website, and the poster has said she's atheist I'm inclined to think my assessment is far more likely than yours that for some batshit reason the op opted to purposefully send her child to a religious school when other options are available.

Yes other UK nations are available blah blah but the obvious answer in this scenario is it is England and a CofE.

This. It's going to be very helpful when interpreting literary texts, art, history, films....there are so many references to the the Bible in the humanities that I think that is an essential read. You can still read and understand the arts without a knowledge of the Bible, but having that knowledge will give a fuller, more rounded understanding. It will stand your daughter in good stead with her education if nothing else.

The original post stands because yes, outwith England state schools are not C of E, but England is so big compared to the other countries that C of E schools are still probably the vast majority throughout the UK.

But I get your point! Outside England there are no C of E schools and in Scotland at least the vast majority are non denominational.