To think buying a Bible is not the same as forcing religion on a child?

[Popcornn]

For context: I am not religious, however I have always been of the mindset that religion is a personal thing and that it should be up to an individual to decide what they believe.

DD recently started going to a CofE school. She has been learning about Jesus and the Nativity and has always been a very curious child. She has lots of questions Christianity that I didn't feel qualified to answer because I didn't learn these things due to a very anti-religious family. So when I saw a children's Bible in a bookshop the other day I decided to buy it. My intention being to read through it alone first and then if questions came up again we could look at it together and discuss it. My DP didn't like this because although he agrees that it should be DDs choice, he feels like it's forcing it on her and that these questions could've easily been answered at school.

I want DD to continue to be curious and to feel comfortable asking these questions at home. I'll always do what I can to help her learn about the things that she's interested in, even if it's not necessarily what I believe. But DP thinks I've crossed a line. AIBU?

Oh I completely understand that it could be the only school in a village.

I just can’t see any way that someone can happily send their child to this school (for whatever reason - best school, nearest, only school for miles) and then say that having a bible in the house is “crossing a line.”

They are already way further over the line than just the presence of a bible in the house. (Not that I think either of these things are remotely near any worrying “lines”)

This. And it’s pretty inconsistent to send your child to a Christian school and object to them owning a bible.

I spoke to DP about it a bit more. He doesn't have an issue with DD being at a CofE school (not that we had much choice) or learning those teachings while there. But he knows that the school is teaching the stories of the Bible as factual. His worry is that if my only reference is the Bible when trying to teach her about Christianity at home, it will just reinforce it being factual instead of letting DD form her own beliefs. He said he was probably being dramatic saying I was forcing it onto her, but
that if I am going to teach her about Christianity he would prefer me to use a different reference that isn't as biased.

Maybe give this a go instead of a bible if you're looking for broader more unbiased information.

CofE schools don't teach the bible as factual. They don't ram religion down your throat.

I attended one. We sang religious hymns and said the Lord's Prayer. We went to church at certain times of the year, but we certainly didn't focus massively on Christianity.

We experienced celebrations from various cultures and probably learnt most about Hinduism, in hindsight.

It really depends on the CofE school in question. Some are definitely more religious than others.

Ours definitely teaches Christianity as fact and Christianity is quite prominent in the life of the school.

(Before anyone asks why am atheist has their kids at a CofE school - the vagaries of a deeply flawed school admissions system.)

I'm an atheist, but wouldn't have any issue with my children owning or reading Bible stories told in a child-friendly way. Many of them cover some good moral issues, and can always be approached in the same way as you might tell the Greek or Roman myths and legends.

I think if people actually read the bible fully they wouldn't wanr

I think if anyone read the bible fully they wouldn't want to be associated with Christianity. Yeah there's a few nice lessons but there's also a lot of hideous stuff in there and many contradictions.

I assume a children's bible would have all the nice stories so it's not really a good representation of what's in the bible.

I think your intentions are great and it's nice that you're letting your child make their own mind up. I'd just tread carefully as a CofE school will miss out the nasties in Christianity so they won't really get a balanced view to make an informed decision on. Is there a particular reason you sent her to a religious school?

I went to a Catholic school because in Scotland it's either that or CofS. They call them non-denominational but they're not. Personally I think religion should be kept out of schools. If parents want to raise their child religious they can do it themselves. I'd be worried about what someone else was teaching my child as everyone has their own interpretation.

@Namechangedatheist of course I'd call any accounts of fancy in any religious text fairytales, what am I going to call them, post truths?

I'm admittedly not as familiar with the Qur'an. I thought the bulk of it was xenophobic spread the faith rules, but obviously the stories with talking camels(the vague one I recall) are as bullshit as virgin births. Both about as bound in scientific thinking.

Don't worry, I'm equally prejudice against all presenting of misogynistic, homophobic magical thinking tales. It just so happens that thanks to attending a church of England primary school, I'm far more familiar of the hypocrisy of Christian texts than other texts.

I really think with your list of fantastical stories there you are splitting hairs. I think the Iliad, Odyssey and Beowulf deserve to be in the magic wishy controlly tale category as much as Noah's ark. I suppose if you want a broad term how about:
Moralistic magic wishy tales that reinforce nasty values of their time?
Or will fairytales suffice?

We are non religious family but bible stories are part of a rich and well-rounded education IMO. They are referenced everywhere in literature. Plus they are good stories!

If DP thinks the school is teaching the stories as fact, surely the best thing to do to provide a balanced view is to read them with her yourself at home, then you can have discussions with her about whether you/she thinks they are actually factual, what do other people think, what is the range of views, if we don't take them literally what moral messages could we still learn from them, etc...

i don't see anything wrong in 'forcing' a religion, ie raising your child with a specific belief. If you believe that is the truth, you have a moral imperative to raise your child that way.

Not true that there are Church of Scotland schools in Scotland and it's either that or Catholic to choose from.

See here:

https://www.gov.scot/publications/foi-202200317073/

The vast majority are non-denominational.

Having checked the website of my own primary school, buried deep in a brochure is a mention of optional worship led by a local minister. I think this may be a statutory obljgation for a non-denominational school. But the School itself has no Christian ethos, values or governance linked to the Church of Scotland.

Compare this to schools in England (where I now live and school a child) that are either non-denominational, Catholic, C of E or other religious. The Church connections are very clear from the websites of the C of E schools.

@OP is your husband planning to engage with your daughter about religion himself at all, or just stand on the sidelines and criticise the way that you do it?

When I was younger, my parents gave me a copy of the Bible in my stocking along with a book on religions of the world … it gave me a more balanced view as well as broadening my horizons..

My dad received a Bible for Christmas from Santa in the fifties. Pretty sure it led to a) his disbelief in Santa b) his atheism.
He considered it one step up from a lump of coal.

OP why not just say I’m not actually sure about that maybe ask the teacher? If you’re not Christians and you don’t attend church services I wouldn’t expect you to be able to answers these questions. People get very funny about religious education. How many children in England are educated at CoE schools? I mean there isn’t a religious revival in England, directly the opposite! So this ‘shoving it down children’s throats’ and ‘indoctrination’ isn’t proving to be very successful is it

In all honesty, I'd buy either a selected set of Bible stories (or stories from world religions, if you can find a nice one), or a decent adult Bible, probably Revised Standard. I think children's Bibles tend to be a bit rubbish - either you want a child to learn some of the myths/stories, or you want them to be exposed to the Bible as 'literature'. I do think children's Bibles are often a bit cloying in terms of the 'I love Jesus' factor (and I say that as a practising Christian).

I don't personally think any of it is forcing religion on a child, but I do think it's one of those things I would check with a partner. His view is just as valid as yours.

I don't think that's necessarily true.

I do have a specific belief, but that belief doesn't extend to thinking that anyone who disagrees with me is categorically wrong, or 'going to hell' or whatever. I just think truth is a complicated beast and we only ever see tiny slivers of it. It might very well be that what I think is true is the best truth I can ever hope for, and that what other people think is true is true too.

So no, I'm not sure I would feel a moral imperative to raise my child in my faith.

Honestly, while I approve your educative intentions, I tried to do the same with that book and it raised more questions than it answered in terms of explaining christianity. But in terms of knowing the stories it could have some value.

For what it's worth...it was reading the Bible cover-to-cover when I was 12 that made me an atheist (as covered in other threads, I don't mind admitting that I was a bit of an odd child). On the other hand, it did start me properly reading fiction literature, so there's a positive in there too :D

I would suggest that a children's Bible might be the wrong way to go, though - the ones I've seen have been very much aimed at making the stories enticing to children, with more than a small amount of spin, rather than just changing the wording to suit a more limited vocabulary. That might be what your husband's objecting to?

The bible has some great stories, loved it as a kid, not remotely religious now

But he knows that the school is teaching the stories of the Bible as factual.
How does he "know" that? It's just not true.

I'm with your husband in so far as at primary school level, things are dealt with so superficially it's pointless.
(DC in CoE school)