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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why don't people like runners now?

181 replies

Bog · 11/12/2022 15:22

I'm sometimes fortunate to be able to go for a run in the evenings as some me time from working and being a dad to my son.
I remember in lockdown and before my son was born when my wife and I would go running, the torrent of abuse we would get from others. Things like run in the road or get away from me/ don't breath on me.
I figured since that ship has sailed I would restart as my wife wanted me to be healthy and fit for our son ( my diet is/was pretty much beige and crisps lol).
Yet still, the comments. It was a bit icy on the road so I didn't feel safe running there and don't anyway as I'm not a car. So I'm running on the pavement and I'm still getting the glares and tuts, even had one woman whip out her mask.
Then it's the deliberate not moving. Is it such a crime to want to have a run?
I feel I'm on the same hate level as a cyclist. Unless there was a running lane that would be handy.
I can't afford or have space for a treadmill or to go to the gym but why am I being punished? People are baffling at the best of times.

OP posts:
escapingthecity · 11/12/2022 18:19

The only time I've ever been knocked off my bike was by a runner. He stepped into a two way bike lane without looking, smashed into me and knocked me under the wheels of the bike coming in the other direction. Totally his fault, caused by him being a selfish dick who didn't consider that there are other street users. Coloured my view of runners for quite some time.

saynotoo · 11/12/2022 18:23

CousinKrispy · 11/12/2022 17:10

I'm always impressed to see runners out and I do my best to make way for them as I'm able to do that easily, but please remember that your workout doesn't entitle you to a clear path with no slowdowns. A couple of pedestrians side by side (or one with a pram or dog) may not be able-bodied enough to sidestep quickly and safely in order to get out of your way when you come pounding up behind them. The onus is on YOU as the faster-moving individual to yield to slower and potentially more vulnerable pedestrians and give them plenty of room, not on them to yield to you so you can have the perfect workout.

That said I wish everyone could be more considerate of each other, including being courteous to runners, and I try to teach DD that! And good for you for getting out there.

Sums it up perfectly. Same applies to cyclists on shared paths. Bear in mind not everyone can hear very well if you come up behind them.

Changingplace · 11/12/2022 18:24

I’m a runner, and a dog walker and I’ve never in my life had anyone shout abuse at me when I’ve been running, how bizarre!

If I’m running up behind people I figure I’m the one who can see them, not vice versa so I’ll cross the road if it looks like there’s not much space, I don’t understand people getting shouted at, how bizarre.

Brainstorm23 · 11/12/2022 18:24

What is the deal with runners running in the road? I really don't understand it! The pavement is right there! Absolutely mental especially at night with no reflective gear on.

Original poster
Bog · 11/12/2022 18:34

Eyerollcentral · 11/12/2022 18:01

Are you a man OP? Obvs you could be a woman with a wife. I’ve been running for years in cities and never encountered any of the problems you describe. I am however quite petite and can usually get by people if I need to without being rude or encroaching on their space. If you are a larger man then you may be taking up a lot more space than you appreciate. Please also do not ‘stomp run’ up behind people. I would be really pissed off at someone passively aggressively stomping up behind me.

Yes I am. I wouldn't say I'm enormously overweight just 2 stone. Ah noted on the loud running I won't do that. As I say it's not all the time when I run as I don't always have someone to watch my son.

OP posts:
Eyerollcentral · 11/12/2022 18:36

I was referring more to your height and breadth not your weight

Original poster
Bog · 11/12/2022 18:38

Eyerollcentral · 11/12/2022 18:36

I was referring more to your height and breadth not your weight

Oh sorry. I'm 6ft but not particularly "buff"

OP posts:
Eyerollcentral · 11/12/2022 18:46

How broad shouldered are you though? How broad is your body not how muscular. A lot of men lose sight of the fact that they are a lot taller and broader than others, particularly women. I am just over five foot and if you came up behind me puffing and stomping looming over I would tell you in no uncertain terms where to go. You need to run on a running track or be more considerate. I am dying to know what happened with the Facebook post but it doesn’t look like you are going to spill the beans

Original poster
Bog · 11/12/2022 18:52

Eyerollcentral · 11/12/2022 18:46

How broad shouldered are you though? How broad is your body not how muscular. A lot of men lose sight of the fact that they are a lot taller and broader than others, particularly women. I am just over five foot and if you came up behind me puffing and stomping looming over I would tell you in no uncertain terms where to go. You need to run on a running track or be more considerate. I am dying to know what happened with the Facebook post but it doesn’t look like you are going to spill the beans

Erm...I don't know. I'd have to have asked my wife.
I said in the Facebook post to the girl who ran past me and my son, I wasn't having a go at you I was warning you to be careful running on the muddy grass and if you see us to know its OK to run on the other side. Sorry I didn't realise people had asked what I posted.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bog · 11/12/2022 18:53

Eyerollcentral · 11/12/2022 18:46

How broad shouldered are you though? How broad is your body not how muscular. A lot of men lose sight of the fact that they are a lot taller and broader than others, particularly women. I am just over five foot and if you came up behind me puffing and stomping looming over I would tell you in no uncertain terms where to go. You need to run on a running track or be more considerate. I am dying to know what happened with the Facebook post but it doesn’t look like you are going to spill the beans

Oh and I don't deliberately run right up behind people I try to make my presence known from a good distance, if not then I run as far away from them as I can.

OP posts:
PlinkPlonkFizz · 11/12/2022 18:55

I hate runners coming up behind me and expecting me to jump out of the way just so their precious training records aren't slowed down. It's intimidating (especially if they are male), can be disconcerting (if you only hear/notice them at the last moment) and smacks of an entitled "out of my way" attitude.

Devoutspoken · 11/12/2022 18:55

People are just massively intolerant, why get so annoyed about someone running

Original poster
Bog · 11/12/2022 18:55

PlinkPlonkFizz · 11/12/2022 18:55

I hate runners coming up behind me and expecting me to jump out of the way just so their precious training records aren't slowed down. It's intimidating (especially if they are male), can be disconcerting (if you only hear/notice them at the last moment) and smacks of an entitled "out of my way" attitude.

I don't do that I try to stay out of others way as best I can.

OP posts:
OddBoots · 11/12/2022 18:56

We moved earlier in the year from an area with no off road cycling paths and very few people out on foot for any reason to one with plenty of both and I have to say it is a real joy - the more people out and about the safer it feels to be out walking on my own.

I definitely appreciate that while we need to make adaptations for each other it is far nicer to have lots of people out making use of the paths than it is to have them rarely used.

Eyerollcentral · 11/12/2022 18:56

Well safe to say if you are a couple of stone overweight you aren’t a bean pole. So you are fairly big man moving fairly quickly through a pavement when you don’t like to stop and sometimes try to warn people you are coming by stomping loudly behind them. I honestly am really surprised people have only shouted at you. Absolutely no need to tell any one else where they can run. She must have reacted pretty badly if you had to post on Facebook about it

Original poster
Bog · 11/12/2022 18:58

Eyerollcentral · 11/12/2022 18:56

Well safe to say if you are a couple of stone overweight you aren’t a bean pole. So you are fairly big man moving fairly quickly through a pavement when you don’t like to stop and sometimes try to warn people you are coming by stomping loudly behind them. I honestly am really surprised people have only shouted at you. Absolutely no need to tell any one else where they can run. She must have reacted pretty badly if you had to post on Facebook about it

It was merely for her safety that was all, i didn'twanther to slipin the mud. No she didn't react badly I don't think she heard me properly as she had headphones on but she smiled but seemed confused. Lol I wouldn't say I run at speed.

OP posts:
Devoutspoken · 11/12/2022 19:00

Plinkplonk, how often does that happen

PlinkPlonkFizz · 11/12/2022 19:00

No, it sounds like you do, because you said that you stomp if people are in front of you and you dislike being held up.

Original poster
Bog · 11/12/2022 19:02

PlinkPlonkFizz · 11/12/2022 19:00

No, it sounds like you do, because you said that you stomp if people are in front of you and you dislike being held up.

To try to make my presence known so I don't scare them is all.

OP posts:
PlinkPlonkFizz · 11/12/2022 19:02

Why? What a peculiar question! It happens about once every 2-4 weeks where I live as my walking routes are used by a lot of joggers.

Luredbyapomegranate · 11/12/2022 19:03

Just wear fluorescent when running at night, I beg of you. I really hate nearly killing runners and Deliveroo cyclists, the latter of whom really do seem to have a night death wish.

Other than that I dunno why you’re getting such grief. Are you a very open mouthed runner??

Eyerollcentral · 11/12/2022 19:04

You seem to be well intentioned however at best fairly naive. Unless it was pitch black you had no need to tell the female runner anything about a muddy patch. I doubt that was her first run, you could see she had earphones in, and you complain about others causing you to slow or stop when running!!! And in your previous post you also said she acted like you’d told her off. Anyway either you are obtuse or oblivious. You are a big man, regardless of your pace, be more considerate of others and they won’t find the need to call you a see you next Tuesday in the middle of the street

PlinkPlonkFizz · 11/12/2022 19:05

Bog · 11/12/2022 19:02

To try to make my presence known so I don't scare them is all.

Show quote history

I think, seeing the responses on here, you should consider adjusting your clear-the-way stomping approach and accept that some people will be frightened or dislike you doing that. I'd say the negative interactions you experience are directly correlated to your behaviour.

Original poster
Bog · 11/12/2022 19:06

Eyerollcentral · 11/12/2022 19:04

You seem to be well intentioned however at best fairly naive. Unless it was pitch black you had no need to tell the female runner anything about a muddy patch. I doubt that was her first run, you could see she had earphones in, and you complain about others causing you to slow or stop when running!!! And in your previous post you also said she acted like you’d told her off. Anyway either you are obtuse or oblivious. You are a big man, regardless of your pace, be more considerate of others and they won’t find the need to call you a see you next Tuesday in the middle of the street

Yes I suppose I am, I'm 27. It was a long muddy bit of grass and didn't want her to slip over. I couldn't see the earphones until she stopped. I've only been called that when running in the road.
Anyway it seems I've upset you so I'll leave you alone, sorry and have a good evening.

OP posts:
Eyerollcentral · 11/12/2022 19:10

Lol! You haven’t upset me at all, I’m staggered that you don’t realise a large man running up behind people pisses them off! You have come here to say why does everyone hate runners, most other people have said errr what are you on about and the penny doesn’t seem to be dropping the problem is most likely you! I have to go all MN bingo on you but this is a real lesson in male entitlement. You are 27 not 17 and have had enough wit to get married and have a child so you cannot be that out of touch