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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why don't people like runners now?

181 replies

Bog · 11/12/2022 15:22

I'm sometimes fortunate to be able to go for a run in the evenings as some me time from working and being a dad to my son.
I remember in lockdown and before my son was born when my wife and I would go running, the torrent of abuse we would get from others. Things like run in the road or get away from me/ don't breath on me.
I figured since that ship has sailed I would restart as my wife wanted me to be healthy and fit for our son ( my diet is/was pretty much beige and crisps lol).
Yet still, the comments. It was a bit icy on the road so I didn't feel safe running there and don't anyway as I'm not a car. So I'm running on the pavement and I'm still getting the glares and tuts, even had one woman whip out her mask.
Then it's the deliberate not moving. Is it such a crime to want to have a run?
I feel I'm on the same hate level as a cyclist. Unless there was a running lane that would be handy.
I can't afford or have space for a treadmill or to go to the gym but why am I being punished? People are baffling at the best of times.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bog · 11/12/2022 15:58

amicissimma · 11/12/2022 15:56

I think most people don't have a problem with runners in particular.

I think problems arise when people are inconsiderate and/or unaware that they are in a space used by other people.

So, as you say, it's thoughtless to use the whole pavement. People may want to walk faster, pass in the opposite direction without having to wait while you move yourself/selves, or, yes, run or jog by.

In a busy shopping area, there is likely to be a lot of ambling on the pavements with people thinking more about the errands they are running than how to make progress, so I think it is more considerate, if you want to go at an unusually high pace, to avoid those areas. Specially as there are more likely to be the type of people there who are a bit unsteady on their feet and nervous of losing balance if they perceive someone to be swerving close to them.

As Rule H2 of the Highway Code says "At a junction you should give way to pedestrians crossing or waiting to cross a road into which or from which you are turning." I think that drivers need to be aware that a pedestrian close to a side road approaching fast is, in effect, waiting to cross, albeit in motion, and the driver should give way to them.

OTOH, runners who hassle slower or more vulnerable pedestrians are a problem. I was cautiously descending some narrow potentially icy, slippery leaf-covered steps the other day, holding the handrail. A runner came up close behind me about halfway down and first huffed and then asked me to step aside to let him past. To do that I would have to go onto the broken edge of the steps and it would still have been a squeeze, so I refused to risk it.

I'm a fast walker so tend to step off the pavement (checking for traffic first) to pass slower pedestrians, so I don't think it would be unreasonable for you to do that, and I think the road is less likely to be icy than the pavement. But in general, I think it's safer, and more expected for pedestrians to be on the pavement.

OK wow that runner was a prat.

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rookiemere · 11/12/2022 15:59

This sounds odd.

I've been running for years and the only issue was the occasional call out when I was younger by dint of being female and under 40 - now thankfully invisible to most.

So it leads me to think it might be something to do with your running style that is leading to all these comments.

Ideally see if you can find a more cross country route then you'll avoid some of the issues.

amicissimma · 11/12/2022 15:59

And Rule H2 applies to driving into or out of side roads, even if they are your personal property.

ToWhitToWhoo · 11/12/2022 16:02

While some of this is probably post-lockdown paranoia, some people may be genuinely anxious about runners bashing into them or knocking them down. Some pedestrians may be pedestrians rather than drivers because they are elderly, somewhat disabled or have sight problems. I wonder if what you call 'deliberate not moving' may sometimes really be an inability to co-ordinate their movements with those of a runner. Pedestrians should not insult and abuse runners, but runners should take responsibility for avoiding knocking people down, and not expect pedestrians to anticipate their movements. My friend ended up in A&E because a runner knocked her over.

Original poster
Bog · 11/12/2022 16:03

thenewaveragebear1983 · 11/12/2022 15:57

@Bog @iknowhimsowell no, did not call them out. The first time was a car full of teenage lads. They slowed right down.

the second time was only last week, a transit type van came up behind me and as it went past I could see the passenger holding his phone out and i could see my own image on the screen, like a selfie (if you see what I mean). I was again too creeped out to call them out on it and they drove off. I actually saw the van pulled over in a lay-by about 50 yards down the road in front, and genuinely for a moment was planning my escape- but they were just letting a car past the other way (we were on country lanes!). It’s really the only time I have felt very threatened and vulnerable while running.

Ah teenagers, as for the van I have no idea. But what a sad state of this world that we can't do a hobby or walk the dog without feeling safe.

OP posts:
Athenen0ctua · 11/12/2022 16:05

amicissimma · 11/12/2022 15:59

And Rule H2 applies to driving into or out of side roads, even if they are your personal property.

I do give way to them but when exiting the road they come fast out of nowhere, not like walkers which you have plenty of time to see and are not a problem in the slightest. It would be far safer if they stopped at the kerb to allow drivers time to give way to them rather than running straight across.

Original poster
Bog · 11/12/2022 16:07

rookiemere · 11/12/2022 15:59

This sounds odd.

I've been running for years and the only issue was the occasional call out when I was younger by dint of being female and under 40 - now thankfully invisible to most.

So it leads me to think it might be something to do with your running style that is leading to all these comments.

Ideally see if you can find a more cross country route then you'll avoid some of the issues.

I always move for those coming towards me. I try to stay out the way for those in front of me and to pass safely. I have no issues with pedestrians at all but some seem to have it in for me. Must be something about me then lol.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bog · 11/12/2022 16:08

Athenen0ctua · 11/12/2022 16:05

I do give way to them but when exiting the road they come fast out of nowhere, not like walkers which you have plenty of time to see and are not a problem in the slightest. It would be far safer if they stopped at the kerb to allow drivers time to give way to them rather than running straight across.

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I have to agree with Athenen on this.

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Gasmyarse · 11/12/2022 16:08

Not all runners of course. But alot around my area practically run at you . Well certainly feels that way. Even when there are little children. It's like they expect the path to be cleared for them. Lots of groans etc uts like they must not stop or slow down . I wonder if its to beat their gest time or something becauae its like they can't stop no matter what.

IndieK1d · 11/12/2022 16:10

iknowhimsowell · 11/12/2022 15:46

I have had a number of dogs chase/jump at me though 😂

I've had a few people shout at their dog "I'm sure that lady (me) doesn't want you running with her". The dog does go back with their owner.

I did once stop and walk and the lady said thanks - no one ever does stop for them.

I've had so many mixed experiences with walkers - there are those who expect me to run in the road into oncoming traffic. There'd be room if they walked single file.

Original poster
Bog · 11/12/2022 16:12

Gasmyarse · 11/12/2022 16:08

Not all runners of course. But alot around my area practically run at you . Well certainly feels that way. Even when there are little children. It's like they expect the path to be cleared for them. Lots of groans etc uts like they must not stop or slow down . I wonder if its to beat their gest time or something becauae its like they can't stop no matter what.

I admit I'd love to try to get to my best again but yes i agree, everyone else is trying to do things so why should I stop their day and why should they have to pander to my needs?

OP posts:
Original poster
Bog · 11/12/2022 16:13

IndieK1d · 11/12/2022 16:10

I've had a few people shout at their dog "I'm sure that lady (me) doesn't want you running with her". The dog does go back with their owner.

I did once stop and walk and the lady said thanks - no one ever does stop for them.

I've had so many mixed experiences with walkers - there are those who expect me to run in the road into oncoming traffic. There'd be room if they walked single file.

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Hahaha I love when they chase happily. I always splutter bet I can beat you (obviously I'm not fast enough).

OP posts:
Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 11/12/2022 16:24

I guess it's for a selfish reason of wanting to have a consistent reading of progress, which can be wrong if constantly stopping.

This stood out for me. I don't have a problem with runners or cyclists generally if they accept that we're all trying to use roads/paths and there is some give or take. But I can't stand the groups of cyclists round here who couldn't give a toss if they're holding you up for a couple of miles on rural windy roads. Equally it's fine if runners come up behind you on a path and slow down and ask if they could get by you whereas running up, not slowing down and just pushing past with no warning is just rude. I find the most polite road users are actually horse riders. They thank you if you drive carefully and try to get out of the way if they can.

Original poster
Bog · 11/12/2022 16:30

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 11/12/2022 16:24

I guess it's for a selfish reason of wanting to have a consistent reading of progress, which can be wrong if constantly stopping.

This stood out for me. I don't have a problem with runners or cyclists generally if they accept that we're all trying to use roads/paths and there is some give or take. But I can't stand the groups of cyclists round here who couldn't give a toss if they're holding you up for a couple of miles on rural windy roads. Equally it's fine if runners come up behind you on a path and slow down and ask if they could get by you whereas running up, not slowing down and just pushing past with no warning is just rude. I find the most polite road users are actually horse riders. They thank you if you drive carefully and try to get out of the way if they can.

I should have been clearer in the fact I don't put others at risk. But I would like in a perfect world to be able to run without issues. But then in that world for a runner would be rather lonely. No people no cars and no dogs. As long as I get my 2 miles done I'm happy even if I do have to stop several times.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bog · 11/12/2022 16:37

I'd just like to say again, I have no problem with walkers, 2 legged or 4. The problem is they seem to have an issue with me. Not every single time I run of course but it's happening a lot more when I run at busy times.

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CarefreeMe · 11/12/2022 16:42

I think people are just miserable and entitled.

I saw a man shouting at a women from across the street telling her to go and run at home as the pavement is for walking on.

It was completely unnecessary as no one else was even on the same path as her.

HeatwaveToNightshade · 11/12/2022 16:45

I always think it's unfair when people doing the same activities are seen as a homogeneous group. So, a couple of runners piss people off and everyone gets tarred with the one brush. Same for cyclists, dog owners or whatever. I have been jumped at by dogs a few times while running, which makes me wary for a time, but I don't assume all dog owners are crap. I do notice a bit of an attitude from some people when I'm running, as if they assume I want them all to move aside for me. I don't! But I must admit, if I'm out walking and see or hear a runner approaching, I move aside for them. I did this even before I started running myself. No big deal. There was a runner who almost rammed right into my son on his bicycle when he was small. He appeared round a bend and refused to slow down his pace, even though it was a fairly narrow (and busy) forest path. DS panicked and sort of froze to the spot. The runner was very rude to us and I gave him an earful about not expecting to have the whole bloody path to himself. His partner ran up after him and gave us an apologetic look, which I appreciated, even though it wasn't her fault. Poor woman was probably used to it!

emilyjeff · 11/12/2022 16:47

I run regularly, have done for years, I've never had anyone be rude to me. Most walkers/ dog walkers smile and say hello. I do make sure I move over to the edge of the path for them. And I try to avoid school pick up/drop off times as I know it'll be ridiculously busy

KangarooKenny · 11/12/2022 16:47

Please don’t run in the road, it’s bad enough having to pass bikes and horses,

enjoyingscience · 11/12/2022 16:47

CarefreeMe · 11/12/2022 16:42

I think people are just miserable and entitled.

I saw a man shouting at a women from across the street telling her to go and run at home as the pavement is for walking on.

It was completely unnecessary as no one else was even on the same path as her.

I agrée with this. In most cases it’s just plain old misanthropic nastiness. You’ve kindly given someone miserable something to be miserable about.

Generally, my approach is to smile and say a cherry hello to anyone looking particularly grumpy, this usually does the trick.

Original poster
Bog · 11/12/2022 16:49

HeatwaveToNightshade · 11/12/2022 16:45

I always think it's unfair when people doing the same activities are seen as a homogeneous group. So, a couple of runners piss people off and everyone gets tarred with the one brush. Same for cyclists, dog owners or whatever. I have been jumped at by dogs a few times while running, which makes me wary for a time, but I don't assume all dog owners are crap. I do notice a bit of an attitude from some people when I'm running, as if they assume I want them all to move aside for me. I don't! But I must admit, if I'm out walking and see or hear a runner approaching, I move aside for them. I did this even before I started running myself. No big deal. There was a runner who almost rammed right into my son on his bicycle when he was small. He appeared round a bend and refused to slow down his pace, even though it was a fairly narrow (and busy) forest path. DS panicked and sort of froze to the spot. The runner was very rude to us and I gave him an earful about not expecting to have the whole bloody path to himself. His partner ran up after him and gave us an apologetic look, which I appreciated, even though it wasn't her fault. Poor woman was probably used to it!

When im out with my son I always keep an eye out for runners. I've actually stopped runners and told them if they see us to keep away from the muddy verge and they are free to run past us. This is only when they have moved onto the muddy part of course. I think one girl actually thought I was telling her off so I had to make a Facebook to post on our town page to explain myself.

OP posts:
Mynameiselvispresley · 11/12/2022 16:52

We all need to share space and to each their need. I only have issues with other runners that shout “stand aside” so they don’t have to break pace or get stroppy with other people using the pavement. Elderly people pulling their baskets, children learning to toddle or ride bikes should be run around rather than expecting to do things differently.

SquirrelFan · 11/12/2022 16:52

I often don't hear runners or cyclists coming up behind meso I might be ambling, but not deliberately preventing someone's progress! Sometimes, runners or cyclists call out "On your left!" which can help, but sometimes I get flustered and thinkdo I need to move left? Which is left?

SquirrelFan · 11/12/2022 16:53

^I have no idea why that's all crossed out!😂

Original poster
Bog · 11/12/2022 16:55

Mynameiselvispresley · 11/12/2022 16:52

We all need to share space and to each their need. I only have issues with other runners that shout “stand aside” so they don’t have to break pace or get stroppy with other people using the pavement. Elderly people pulling their baskets, children learning to toddle or ride bikes should be run around rather than expecting to do things differently.

OK wow shouting stand aside as if they're some army general.

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