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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why are people so so impatient

86 replies

Seenandheard · 11/12/2022 15:02

I just got beeped for letting two cars out in a slow moving queue instead of one. The cars in front of me hadn't let anyone out so I figured why not be generous. The feeder road was also v v busy. But I hardly sat and let 10 cars out. And the person behind me beeping as car no. 2 went out...it makes me see red. How can you go through life being such an absolute tosser?! Because really, I delayed their journey by 3 seconds. maybe 5. They need to really ask themselves what they have lost in those precious few seconds.

Similar happened in a queue to the science museum in London recently. The family in front stopped at the entrance to take a photo. We waited for them. I'd say 5-7 seconds. The woman behind us starts huffing "can we move please". I mean, did she need that extra 7 seconds in the building? She could have made up that time by walking a bit faster once we all got in.

I just think people are in the mindset of DO NOT DELAY ME FOR A NANOSECOND and don't even stop to think how delayed they have been. Totally irrational. And yes, I too am in a mad impatient stressed rush sometimes ....but at I maintain perspective.

I just hate this behaviour. It makes me SO cross. And I had to rant.

OP posts:
mamabear715 · 11/12/2022 15:08

You did right to have a rant!
I can't answer your question, I have NO idea why everything has to be done at a sprint, but I do absolutely empathise. x

GiltEdges · 11/12/2022 15:15

I just got beeped for letting two cars out in a slow moving queue instead of one. The cars in front of me hadn't let anyone out so I figured why not be generous. The feeder road was also v v busy. But I hardly sat and let 10 cars out.

It annoys me when other drivers do this, although I wouldn’t be so rude as to beep. It’s the same principle as when there’s a queue and someone in front of you lets someone else jump in. They have no right to do that on behalf of anyone else in the queue, just as you have no right to inconvenience all the other drivers behind you, however small the inconvenience may be.

Alexaplaysomething · 11/12/2022 15:20

I just think people are in the mindset of DO NOT DELAY ME FOR A NANOSECOND

and you are in the mindset of "I'll decide that others should be delayed".
**

Triffid1 · 11/12/2022 15:32

Letting in 2 cars IS annoying and doesn't contribute to keeping bad traffic flowing. 6 slow moving traffic, there is time for one car to slip in, with everyone slightly adjusting their speed accordingly. 2 cars means everyone has to properly stop and not get going again.

People stopping at the entrance are also annoying. it's not about being delayed for 5 seconds. It's about stopping the flow. An entrance is somewhere people should keep moving because the knock-on effects of stopping cause far more impact than the 4 second wait.

BeverleyMacca1 · 11/12/2022 15:36

It is slightly irritating when more than one car is let out but it’s not a beepable offence.

latetothefisting · 11/12/2022 15:45

Hmm dunno, there's a carpark by me that has a horrendous traffic light system where only about 8 cars can move before the lights change again. There's a main exit with lots of smaller branches off it, if you're at the back of the queue of the main exit and each person in front lets just one person in from the side branches the people in the actual queue quite literally don't move at all. People have been stuck there for hours before.

So I can see why people might have been annoyed at you for letting 2 people out.

I remember a thread on here about covid where a poster slammed a queue of people waiting outside a supermarket who didn't offer for an elderly lady to go in front of them and she was the only one who did but of course she didn't then swap with the elderly lady and go to the back of the queue which is the correct etiquette, just told the lady she could go in front of her -ignoring the fact that if everyone did that then person number 30 in the queue who'd been there for ages would suddenly become person 59!

It's not doing a nice thing when someone else actually bears the brunt of the inconvenience!

Allsnotwell · 11/12/2022 15:48

The flight that crashed lost lives because people grabbed their bags selling for only a second - that was 20/30 seconds people didn’t have.

Bewitched005 · 11/12/2022 15:51

Allsnotwell · 11/12/2022 15:48

The flight that crashed lost lives because people grabbed their bags selling for only a second - that was 20/30 seconds people didn’t have.

Not really on the same level as a line of traffic.

ButterCrackers · 11/12/2022 15:51

It’s people getting the way of others because they don’t think of others. The family blocking people to take a photo, I would just have continued past them. I’d certainly not stop. It’s one car at a time in traffic queues that join together.I let one vehicle in before me not two. I edge forward to stop this pushing in. There’s a flow and if someone just stops for no good reason it blocks others. In traffic the Highway Code is the one to follow.

gamerchick · 11/12/2022 15:55

You should do it with a bus. That royally gets people's backs up. There isn't any patience anymore, none absolutely anywhere.

YellowTreeHouse · 11/12/2022 15:56

YABU. It’s not up to you to decide to delay and inconvenience everyone else.

UWhatNow · 11/12/2022 16:00

Because the people in cars behind you - who actually have the legal right of way - are just as in need of getting on with their day. It’s not impatience, it’s outright annoyance at people like you who stupidly think they’re being kind but they’re actually being unkind to everyone behind them. YABU.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 11/12/2022 16:03

It would seem that most respondents are in the impatient sector, OP. I’m with you, but I’m retired and so not in a hurry very often.

OneTC · 11/12/2022 16:04

It's because they're self important arseholes. See any cycling thread for details

DatingDinosaur · 11/12/2022 16:05

Glad to see that manners, etiquette, patience, thoughtfulness, consideration and kindness isn't dead.

OP, don't get mad or stressed about some impatient fuckwit beeping at you. I'm sure it'd have been a different story if it had been them you was letting out.

Such is the joys of rush hour/heavy traffic.

FOJN · 11/12/2022 16:07

It's life.

You can choose to be charitably patient with everyone in front of you but you don't get to control how the people behind you respond to that.

Some people might say it's quite arrogant to assume that the delay you create is inconsequential to others.

Megapint · 11/12/2022 16:12

Oh dear op, looks like you have summond the inpatient grumpy bastards with your thread. I agree with you. It probably adds less than 30 seconds to my journey to let a couple cars out.

SpaceOP · 11/12/2022 16:25

Why is the knock on effect so hard for people to understand? Traffic coming to a complete stop to allow multiple cars in is more than a few seconds as each car then has to take its turn to get moving again. Queues to enter busy venues get completely blindsided by random people stopping and blocking the path. You might start moving again 5 seconds later but if everyone else has also stopped the last people.in the queue will have had more time added.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 11/12/2022 16:25

I don't tend to sweat the small stuff, but ditherers are annoying and I'd beep by the fourth or fifth car. The rest of us have lives to live: our time isn't less important than yours.

For various reasons, the everlasting saccharine pronouncement of 'it's nice to be nice' is wearing pretty thin on me these days.

amicissimma · 11/12/2022 16:25

Triffid1 · 11/12/2022 15:32

Letting in 2 cars IS annoying and doesn't contribute to keeping bad traffic flowing. 6 slow moving traffic, there is time for one car to slip in, with everyone slightly adjusting their speed accordingly. 2 cars means everyone has to properly stop and not get going again.

People stopping at the entrance are also annoying. it's not about being delayed for 5 seconds. It's about stopping the flow. An entrance is somewhere people should keep moving because the knock-on effects of stopping cause far more impact than the 4 second wait.

But if each car let in one, both queues would move at a steady pace. Which, while it slows us down if we're on the major road, benefits us when we're on the minor. Which, presumably happens often.

It's the driver who won't let one car out in turn who messes the flow up. So the OP, letting out 2, actually made no overall difference to a situation where everyone goes in turn.

LlynTegid · 11/12/2022 16:27

The car one, because we allow people to behave in a way that is never accepted away from a car, and the courts will not ban people who should never have a licence for long enough. If the 25% of people who should be without their licence were without one, there would be much less delays on the road.

LadyKenya · 11/12/2022 16:31

DatingDinosaur · 11/12/2022 16:05

Glad to see that manners, etiquette, patience, thoughtfulness, consideration and kindness isn't dead.

OP, don't get mad or stressed about some impatient fuckwit beeping at you. I'm sure it'd have been a different story if it had been them you was letting out.

Such is the joys of rush hour/heavy traffic.

This.

crimsonlake · 11/12/2022 16:32

I like to think I am a considerate driver most of the time. However from personal experience you have no idea how long people in the other cars have been travelling, caught up in road works earlier etc. They may have travelled for hours and just want to get to their destination, you just don't know peoples circumstances for getting impatient?

CrackersCheeseAndWinePlease · 11/12/2022 16:38

I've literally just seen this scenario on my way home. I was in traffic, approx 3 cars in front of me and the first car stopped to let a few cars feed in. I didn't beep but I was annoyed. The trouble that caused was all the cars then thought they were being let in after the first few when the driver had had enough and almost caused an accident

BlackberrySky · 11/12/2022 16:40

I live near a busy commuter station on the train route into Waterloo. Trains every 3-5 minutes in the rush hour. I once got down to the platform and they held us at the entrance because it was already full. It was for literally 90 seconds while it cleared. The woman next to me instantly started huffing and ranting that she had an important meeting to get to. I honestly don't know how some people make it through the day without getting a hernia.....