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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why are people so so impatient

86 replies

Seenandheard · 11/12/2022 15:02

I just got beeped for letting two cars out in a slow moving queue instead of one. The cars in front of me hadn't let anyone out so I figured why not be generous. The feeder road was also v v busy. But I hardly sat and let 10 cars out. And the person behind me beeping as car no. 2 went out...it makes me see red. How can you go through life being such an absolute tosser?! Because really, I delayed their journey by 3 seconds. maybe 5. They need to really ask themselves what they have lost in those precious few seconds.

Similar happened in a queue to the science museum in London recently. The family in front stopped at the entrance to take a photo. We waited for them. I'd say 5-7 seconds. The woman behind us starts huffing "can we move please". I mean, did she need that extra 7 seconds in the building? She could have made up that time by walking a bit faster once we all got in.

I just think people are in the mindset of DO NOT DELAY ME FOR A NANOSECOND and don't even stop to think how delayed they have been. Totally irrational. And yes, I too am in a mad impatient stressed rush sometimes ....but at I maintain perspective.

I just hate this behaviour. It makes me SO cross. And I had to rant.

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 12/12/2022 13:08

gamerchick · 11/12/2022 15:55

You should do it with a bus. That royally gets people's backs up. There isn't any patience anymore, none absolutely anywhere.

I let people less able on the bus first, but I've shoved a fella out of the way, who tries to body block a queue so he can perve at the teen girls he's letting go in front of him. Younger men tend to let me on, but it's the older pervy blokes who don't see those that actually need to get on first. I'm disabled without appearing to be before everyone jumps on that.

The only time we've beeped is when we've been sat across a level crossing, trailer on the back of an estate, kids and a dog in the back and some generous person thinks that we don't have to move, while they let others in/through. There's a safety aspect to keeping traffic flowing.

cherriegarcia · 12/12/2022 13:12

GiltEdges · 11/12/2022 15:15

I just got beeped for letting two cars out in a slow moving queue instead of one. The cars in front of me hadn't let anyone out so I figured why not be generous. The feeder road was also v v busy. But I hardly sat and let 10 cars out.

It annoys me when other drivers do this, although I wouldn’t be so rude as to beep. It’s the same principle as when there’s a queue and someone in front of you lets someone else jump in. They have no right to do that on behalf of anyone else in the queue, just as you have no right to inconvenience all the other drivers behind you, however small the inconvenience may be.

OK but if the person in front of OP didn't let anyone in then the 2 cars OP let in didn't hold you up anymore than if they had each let in one.

Newlifestartingatlast · 12/12/2022 13:12

Im retired. Generally I have time to let people out or not bother if someone else does. But only 1 car at a time- often traffic waiting to enter from side road have been waiting shorter time than that backed up on main road. I also wouldn’t if it meant missing a traffic light. I am also happy to give way to traffic with parked cars when I actually have right of way - but only if I have nothing behind me

yesterday, I was taking my DS to station to get train. Horrendous traffic queues out of no where (we’d left in plenty of time 45 mins for a 24 min journey) . We were really running out of time for a london 3 hour journey train . At one point a car in front couldn’t directly leave the junction due to a lorry coming across from right (traffic lights), they made no attempt to pull forwards and squeeze in behind lorry…it was clear only one or 2 cars were going to make it through at each green light. And they took 3 green lights to actually move- cos every time they didn’t move forwards they’d get more traffic coming in from main road when our lights went to red.. They could have got through final bit into main road on an amber, having sat in junction on green, as is fine under Highway Code. It was like they weren’t going to move unless the whole junction was clear of stand still traffic - and it clearly was never going to clear as it was massive traffic queues.
It took us 6 mins to get through those lights due to that idiot. As a results my DS and partner were sprinting across station and only just made it before the train left.
I’m fine with letting a car out as long as it is not excessive and causing delays for other people behind - that driver yesterday was sitting in an isolated bubble thinking I’m in no hurry and what I choose to do doesn’t affect others- it did . And yes I was frustrated with their stupidity and selfishness.

Think about people behind you folks, whilst you’re being kind to drivers in front, it can sometimes be at Expense of drivers behind - just cos you can’t see them and they won’t give you a thanks.

cherriegarcia · 12/12/2022 13:14

I agree with you OP and I think people get into an irrational mindset sometimes, particularly when they are driving.

chezpopbang · 12/12/2022 13:34

GiltEdges · 11/12/2022 15:15

I just got beeped for letting two cars out in a slow moving queue instead of one. The cars in front of me hadn't let anyone out so I figured why not be generous. The feeder road was also v v busy. But I hardly sat and let 10 cars out.

It annoys me when other drivers do this, although I wouldn’t be so rude as to beep. It’s the same principle as when there’s a queue and someone in front of you lets someone else jump in. They have no right to do that on behalf of anyone else in the queue, just as you have no right to inconvenience all the other drivers behind you, however small the inconvenience may be.

Are you really delayed though?

amusedbush · 12/12/2022 14:29

The train example just reminded me of an incident a few years ago when there had been cancellations due to bad weather. A train finally did turn up but it was only 3 carriages instead of 6, so it was absolutely packed. A grown man had to be bodily removed by station security and members of the public because he was trying to wedge himself in, holding the door open and shouting at the top of his voice about how he had to get to work. Surely no job is worth making such a spectacle of yourself??

As far as driving goes, some people will do anything to avoid letting someone out. For context, I recently started a new job I have to drive to after 10 years of train commuting/WFH. There is only one route I can take and it involves a right turn onto the main street, which has a roundabout at either end and zero traffic control measures. This means there is pretty much constant traffic going both ways and most nights I have to sit for several minutes just waiting to be let out.

Sometimes there's a small break in the traffic but the person coming toward me (inevitably with a queue of 10 cars at their back) actually speeds up rather ease off enough that I could nip out.

Bien22 · 12/12/2022 17:20

YANBU, OP. To me, you were just making up for the other drivers who didn’t let anyone out. But I am a let one car in kind of driver myself personally.

I definitely perceive that a lot of people lack patience and self-control seeing the number of times drivers go through on amber when they have lots of time to stop, even red at times at our local major roundabout. It’s frightening. Seems to be more to me than 5/10 years ago.

lieselotte · 13/12/2022 09:57

the person coming toward me (inevitably with a queue of 10 cars at their back) actually speeds up rather ease off enough that I could nip out

that does annoy me. You get people like that who just need to ease off the gas a bit to let you out but won't, and then you get the people who dawdle and dither, although if they just drove at a sensible speed you could nip out behind them. Usually the ditherer precedes the one who won't ease off, so the gap that might have been there for you to use, disappears!

Blackalice · 13/12/2022 10:14

It's definitely unreasonable to let 2 cars in. They probably beeped because they thought you might let a third in!

Purplelion · 13/12/2022 10:20

I always let one car in when there’s a queue, I thought that’s was the unwritten rule. If someone in front of me let more than 1 in I wouldn’t beep but I’d roll my eyes.

On the other end of this, a woman tried to wave me in across a roundabout when it was her right of way and swore at me because I didn’t go!

ILoveeCakes · 13/12/2022 10:23

The photo example is annoying. People should step away from the line before posing and messing about. That's just good manners.

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