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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit annoyed at this?

70 replies

doodlepoodlenoodle · 10/12/2022 16:28

My DD (8) was having her hours screen time today and playing Roblox with her friend while they FaceTimed each other.

Dd's friend gave her a virtual gift on the game, then asked for it back. When DD refused, her friend kicked off and her dad sent my DD a voice note asking to give it back as DD's friend was very upset.

As far as I can gather this was a gift. I know with kids it's 6 of one and half a dozen of the other, but AIBU at being annoyed that DD's friend's dad voice noted her? And should my DD have given the gift back? She did by the way, more so because she had been told off by the dad.

All this is so trivial, I know, but I just can't help being upset at DD's friends behaviour.

OP posts:
tickticksnooze · 10/12/2022 16:31

I wouldn't be happy about the voice note.

Cuddlywuddlies · 10/12/2022 16:32

Yabu based on the fact that an 8yr old shouldn’t be playing Roblox and FaceTiming sorry!!

JustLyra · 10/12/2022 16:33

I wouldn't be remotely happy with the Dad getting involved. If an adult has an issue with my 8 yo online then I'd expect them to speak to me, not my child directly

wackamole · 10/12/2022 16:35

What was the gift? The whole thing seems awfully trivial for a whole grown man to be up in arms about. Two 8yos, OK.

RandomPerson42 · 10/12/2022 16:38

Dad should have rung you, but 8 year old should not be facetiming anyone - and you know Roblox has a history of undesirables frequenting it right?

Penaltyshootoutfan · 10/12/2022 16:43

Why the hell can’t two eight year olds face time each other?

I think the dad was wrong to get involved, he should have said to his daughter you gifted it so it’s gone.

MajorCarolDanvers · 10/12/2022 16:43

The dad needs to but out or contact you directly.

MajorCarolDanvers · 10/12/2022 16:44

I don't see what is wrong with the FaceTiming though. Some odd replies on that.

Original poster
doodlepoodlenoodle · 10/12/2022 16:46

My daughter's iPad is heavily monitored by me, as is her Roblox app and she can only FaceTime her friend and her step brother. I really don't see why that is a problem and I didn't actually ask for anyone's opinion on that.

I'm good friends with my DD's friends mum and have spoken to her about the dad voice noting and she was horrified. She was out shopping at the time. She has apologised for any upset caused.

OP posts:
Original poster
doodlepoodlenoodle · 10/12/2022 16:47

wackamole · 10/12/2022 16:35

What was the gift? The whole thing seems awfully trivial for a whole grown man to be up in arms about. Two 8yos, OK.

Like a virtual puppy or something. Really not that important but important enough to the girls to cause this upset.

OP posts:
Peashoots · 10/12/2022 16:51

Lol that you shoehorned in “her hours screen time” 😂
YANBU. A grown man shouldn’t be voice noting an 8 year old, surely he knows that would be intimidating for her.

Original poster
doodlepoodlenoodle · 10/12/2022 16:56

Peashoots · 10/12/2022 16:51

Lol that you shoehorned in “her hours screen time” 😂
YANBU. A grown man shouldn’t be voice noting an 8 year old, surely he knows that would be intimidating for her.

Haha well you know Mumsnet! Wink

OP posts:
Peashoots · 10/12/2022 16:59

doodlepoodlenoodle · 10/12/2022 16:56

Haha well you know Mumsnet! Wink

Show quote history

Well the lightening quick response of someone scolding you for allowing your kid to have Roblox and face time demonstrates this perfectly doesn’t it 😁

Cuddlywuddlies · 10/12/2022 16:59

8 yr olds should’nt be FaceTiming or playing Roblox fir the very reason that this situation has happened (and worse happens) and @doodlepoodlenoodle im sorry but you couldn’t be possibly be monitoring it THAT heavily if you find all of this out after the fact!! It’s not a necessity that an 8yr old has social media and plays Roblox. It’s not in anyway suitable and the sooner ppl realise this the better, you are leaving them open to all sorts of abuse and bullying which has such long term mental health effects.

GerbilsForever24 · 10/12/2022 17:00

The dad should not have got involved and contacted your DD. He should have had a conversation with his DD about how inappropriate it is to give someone a gift and then ask for it back. This kind of thing happens on Roblox all the time and the kids need to learn.

As for all the "no roblox and no FaceTime" crew..... ridiculous. OP - keep ignoring that.

1982mommaof4 · 10/12/2022 17:02

Why can't two 8year old face time.. MN is weird!

1982mommaof4 · 10/12/2022 17:02

Oh and YANBU dad should have messaged you

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 10/12/2022 17:04

Dad should have contacted you, not your dc, but I think I would make them give the item/pet back.

Original poster
doodlepoodlenoodle · 10/12/2022 17:08

Cuddlywuddlies · 10/12/2022 16:59

8 yr olds should’nt be FaceTiming or playing Roblox fir the very reason that this situation has happened (and worse happens) and @doodlepoodlenoodle im sorry but you couldn’t be possibly be monitoring it THAT heavily if you find all of this out after the fact!! It’s not a necessity that an 8yr old has social media and plays Roblox. It’s not in anyway suitable and the sooner ppl realise this the better, you are leaving them open to all sorts of abuse and bullying which has such long term mental health effects.

My DD was in the room when all this happened, I heard the disagreement happening and was trying to resolve it then heard the voice note as it was played. (Which was sent via my DD's friend messaging app on her iPad.

My DD's Dad lives about an hour away from us and my DD is very close to her step siblings and half sister. She sees them once a week so likes to FaceTime her DSB in between visits as she misses him. I do not see what is wrong with that. In this day and age and especially after going through lockdown for best part of 2 years it is not an alien concept for children to do this. As I said in my OP, she has two contacts on her contacts list, and I have parental controls set up on her Roblox game. I check her iPad twice a day for anything untoward.

OP posts:
TheAngryFeminist · 10/12/2022 17:09

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Original poster
doodlepoodlenoodle · 10/12/2022 17:12

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I didn't think of it this way so thank you for making me see it in a different perspective.

I know my DD's friends parents really well and he has always come across as quite stern and strict but he's never done anything like this before. I'm almost certain there is nothing sinister behind it but will be more vigilant in future.

OP posts:
Testina · 10/12/2022 17:15

What’s the point of the thread?
If the man’s own wife thought he was out of order, why are you asking strangers online?

AperolWhore · 10/12/2022 17:15

Cuddlywuddlies · 10/12/2022 16:32

Yabu based on the fact that an 8yr old shouldn’t be playing Roblox and FaceTiming sorry!!

@Cuddlywuddlies this! Way too young for this stuff and especially unsupervised.

Cuddlywuddlies · 10/12/2022 17:17

@doodlepoodlenoodle i don’t believe it fir a second

Original poster
doodlepoodlenoodle · 10/12/2022 17:18

Testina · 10/12/2022 17:15

What’s the point of the thread?
If the man’s own wife thought he was out of order, why are you asking strangers online?

I posted this before I spoke to the mum.

What is the point of your comment? Couldn't you say that to everyone who posts on Mumsnet?

OP posts:
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