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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit annoyed at this?

70 replies

doodlepoodlenoodle · 10/12/2022 16:28

My DD (8) was having her hours screen time today and playing Roblox with her friend while they FaceTimed each other.

Dd's friend gave her a virtual gift on the game, then asked for it back. When DD refused, her friend kicked off and her dad sent my DD a voice note asking to give it back as DD's friend was very upset.

As far as I can gather this was a gift. I know with kids it's 6 of one and half a dozen of the other, but AIBU at being annoyed that DD's friend's dad voice noted her? And should my DD have given the gift back? She did by the way, more so because she had been told off by the dad.

All this is so trivial, I know, but I just can't help being upset at DD's friends behaviour.

OP posts:
Original poster
doodlepoodlenoodle · 10/12/2022 17:19

Cuddlywuddlies · 10/12/2022 17:17

@doodlepoodlenoodle i don’t believe it fir a second

I don't actually care if you believe me or not. I know what I said in my post was true and don't need validation from you. Thanks for your opinion though.

OP posts:
Liz1tummypain · 10/12/2022 17:21

that's technology for you. It doesn't seem like you can stop other friends parents from contacting your daughter.

TheAngryFeminist · 10/12/2022 17:22

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KarmaStar · 10/12/2022 17:23

If you've had an apology from mum and it's been sorted,I really don't see the point of posting about it on here,it's a finished matter.

Original poster
doodlepoodlenoodle · 10/12/2022 17:23

KarmaStar · 10/12/2022 17:23

If you've had an apology from mum and it's been sorted,I really don't see the point of posting about it on here,it's a finished matter.

Like I said before, I posted on here before I spoke to the mum as the mum was out when all this happened.

OP posts:
HuntingoftheSnark · 10/12/2022 17:24

KarmaStar · 10/12/2022 17:23

If you've had an apology from mum and it's been sorted,I really don't see the point of posting about it on here,it's a finished matter.

She had the apology after posting on here!!

DrManhattan · 10/12/2022 17:24

Scary how a grown man can directly contact an 8 year old

GerbilsForever24 · 10/12/2022 17:25

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This had me cackling with laughter. So no FaceTime until DD is .... 18?

And definitely no FaceTiming in case your dd's friend is in a room with a man you don't know?

GerbilsForever24 · 10/12/2022 17:25

Oh wait, @TheAngryFeminist am I being an idiot? Are you being sarcastic and I just missed it?

IhearyouClemFandango · 10/12/2022 17:27

Depends. In our house we know our kids' friends well, so if dh needed to voice note anyone it wouldn't be intimidating to them.

girlmom21 · 10/12/2022 17:28

If they were FaceTiming I don't understand how he didn't just say something on the call.
That's strange in itself.

Testina · 10/12/2022 17:29

doodlepoodlenoodle · 10/12/2022 17:18

I posted this before I spoke to the mum.

What is the point of your comment? Couldn't you say that to everyone who posts on Mumsnet?

Show quote history

Chinny reckon at that timing 🤣

Original poster
doodlepoodlenoodle · 10/12/2022 17:30

girlmom21 · 10/12/2022 17:28

If they were FaceTiming I don't understand how he didn't just say something on the call.
That's strange in itself.

My DD hung up to stop the arguing. He then voice noted through messenger. Surely that's obvious?

Why do people on Mumsnet always try and pick holes in peoples posts?

OP posts:
JustLyra · 10/12/2022 17:32

IhearyouClemFandango · 10/12/2022 17:27

Depends. In our house we know our kids' friends well, so if dh needed to voice note anyone it wouldn't be intimidating to them.

It doesn't matter how well you know your kids' friends - adults shouldn't be voice noting 8 year old children, they should be going through the parents.

JustLyra · 10/12/2022 17:33

My DD wouldn't be unsupervised Facetiming, or playing Roblox, with that child again. If the father is the type to wade in and speak to my child then supervised play only.

tabulahrasa · 10/12/2022 17:33

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It’s her friend, not some random... presumably she’s been in her house and could have been in the room with whoever might be offscreen on FaceTime 😐

girlmom21 · 10/12/2022 17:34

Sorry @doodlepoodlenoodle, I wasn't trying to pick holes, I was saying his behaviour was weird sending a voice note rather than just speaking to her on the call.

It wasn't obvious to me that she'd hung up, clearly 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
doodlepoodlenoodle · 10/12/2022 17:34

JustLyra · 10/12/2022 17:33

My DD wouldn't be unsupervised Facetiming, or playing Roblox, with that child again. If the father is the type to wade in and speak to my child then supervised play only.

Totally agree with you. Although my DD is only allowed on her iPad in the living room when me or her stepdad is present.

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Zanatdy · 10/12/2022 17:34

8 is too young to be receiving voice notes. Does she have her own number? This is why it’s better kids don’t have a phone at age 8. I’d encourage her to give back anything that a friend asks for. Perhaps the item is of value and child was in trouble. Should her dad have voice noted a child? Absolutely not

Original poster
doodlepoodlenoodle · 10/12/2022 17:36

Zanatdy · 10/12/2022 17:34

8 is too young to be receiving voice notes. Does she have her own number? This is why it’s better kids don’t have a phone at age 8. I’d encourage her to give back anything that a friend asks for. Perhaps the item is of value and child was in trouble. Should her dad have voice noted a child? Absolutely not

It was on my daughter's iPad, all contacts are added using email addresses/apple ids. My daughter will not be allowed a phone or a phone number until at least she is at secondary school. And she can't add anyone on her iPad without going through me first as her Apple ID is controlled through my own.

OP posts:
Cuddlywuddlies · 10/12/2022 17:36

@doodlepoodlenoodle and yet you are the one with a problem where a grown man has contacted your daughter and you have the audacity to be angry about it. YOU are the adult and you facilitated the problem you see!! So yes you may not need any validation but you came on here with a problem and I am telling you the simple way to avoid this is to STOP letting your dd do activities beyond her years!!

WunWun · 10/12/2022 17:37

He shouldn't have sent the voicenote, but I would 100% have made my daughter give it back in these circumstances! And told her not to accept another gift.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 10/12/2022 17:37

I think it depends on what was said.

Also, you said you were trying to sort it. I'm guessing that involved you telling DD to hang up to end the argument? I don't think the dad then messaging to ask for the gift back is that bad if that's all that was said. You supervise and advocate for your DD, I'd assume that's what he was doing too

DisneyChops · 10/12/2022 17:38

Cuddlywuddlies · 10/12/2022 16:59

8 yr olds should’nt be FaceTiming or playing Roblox fir the very reason that this situation has happened (and worse happens) and @doodlepoodlenoodle im sorry but you couldn’t be possibly be monitoring it THAT heavily if you find all of this out after the fact!! It’s not a necessity that an 8yr old has social media and plays Roblox. It’s not in anyway suitable and the sooner ppl realise this the better, you are leaving them open to all sorts of abuse and bullying which has such long term mental health effects.

Oh dear lord.

Original poster
doodlepoodlenoodle · 10/12/2022 17:39

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 10/12/2022 17:37

I think it depends on what was said.

Also, you said you were trying to sort it. I'm guessing that involved you telling DD to hang up to end the argument? I don't think the dad then messaging to ask for the gift back is that bad if that's all that was said. You supervise and advocate for your DD, I'd assume that's what he was doing too

Yes, I told her to hang up the call which she did, the dad then voice noted.

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