Page 4 | DSS off school today but has football tomorrow

treatyfl · 2022-12-09T13:39:07+00:00

DH does shift work and is working this weekend. Dss is over tonight, he was off school yesterday and today with a bad cold. However, he has a football game tomorrow which he still wants to go to which I have to take him to and is outdoors. A. Its a nightmare taking him because i have a 7year old and toddler so have to somehow entertain them for the duration of the game. B. I dont think he should be allowed to go if he was sick enough to miss school?! AIBU to say this to dh. Obviously it benefits me if he doesn't go to football, but to be honest it's more about the treatment, like its fine to miss school you can still do hobbies. What is that teaching our 7 year old?! Side note - he would absolutely not allow the 7 year old to do this!

alasangne · 10/12/2022 10:47

Kanaloa · 10/12/2022 09:53

But then she needs to be plain about that and say ‘from now on I’m not willing to take DSS to football, it’s too inconvenient for me, so either he can’t go or someone else needs to take him.’ Rather than wrapping it up as ‘oh but he was home from school so he shouldn’t go.’ Just admit that you don’t want to take him and aren’t willing to do that, and his father will need to take him or else hand in his resignation to the team.

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Fair point. Well made

funinthesun19 · 10/12/2022 11:03

Just admit that you don’t want to take him and aren’t willing to do that, and his father will need to take him or else hand in his resignation to the team.

Before he hands in his resignation to the team, his mum exists on the planet too and should be seen as a reasonable option just as much as the father before he has to give up his football. She’s being completely disregarded here.

Kanaloa · 10/12/2022 18:38

funinthesun19 · 10/12/2022 11:03

Just admit that you don’t want to take him and aren’t willing to do that, and his father will need to take him or else hand in his resignation to the team.

Before he hands in his resignation to the team, his mum exists on the planet too and should be seen as a reasonable option just as much as the father before he has to give up his football. She’s being completely disregarded here.

Well I did say ‘someone else needs to take him,’ not ‘his dad needs to do it,’ but I presume that the weekend is the father’s care time. If it is a 50/50 care situation then they could look at splitting it, but it makes little sense for mum to be doing childcare all week then also sorting his weekend activities, while dad sits back and leaves the two women to organise It.

Winterfires · 10/12/2022 18:45

Rugby has been called off so wussy football definitely will be 🤭

wotsinthebox · 10/12/2022 18:46

Kanaloa · 10/12/2022 18:38

Well I did say ‘someone else needs to take him,’ not ‘his dad needs to do it,’ but I presume that the weekend is the father’s care time. If it is a 50/50 care situation then they could look at splitting it, but it makes little sense for mum to be doing childcare all week then also sorting his weekend activities, while dad sits back and leaves the two women to organise It.

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Yes it makes little sense but that might be what needs to be done.

funinthesun19 · 10/12/2022 19:31

Well I did say ‘someone else needs to take him,’ not ‘his dad needs to do it,’ but I presume that the weekend is the father’s care time. If it is a 50/50 care situation then they could look at splitting it, but it makes little sense for mum to be doing childcare all week then also sorting his weekend activities, while dad sits back and leaves the two women to organise It.

You mean the one woman to organise it? You’ve said yourself the mum shouldn’t have to get involved in her own child’s weekend hobbies/activities. That just leaves OP.

I don’t think OP has more of a moral obligation to step in and take the dsc to football over his own mum when it’s dad’s weekends.

jamira · 10/12/2022 20:11

Assuming that he's better then really this is that you don't want to take him. Don't blame it on him having been sick. Have a bit more integrity!

Kanaloa · 10/12/2022 20:46

funinthesun19 · 10/12/2022 19:31

Well I did say ‘someone else needs to take him,’ not ‘his dad needs to do it,’ but I presume that the weekend is the father’s care time. If it is a 50/50 care situation then they could look at splitting it, but it makes little sense for mum to be doing childcare all week then also sorting his weekend activities, while dad sits back and leaves the two women to organise It.

You mean the one woman to organise it? You’ve said yourself the mum shouldn’t have to get involved in her own child’s weekend hobbies/activities. That just leaves OP.

I don’t think OP has more of a moral obligation to step in and take the dsc to football over his own mum when it’s dad’s weekends.

Well I think each parent of the child (man or woman) should organise their children on the days they have them. If the father can’t and op doesn’t want to then he should rearrange or hire childcare help etc.