Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

To not ever go out on Christmas Day.

101 replies

Highfivemum · 08/12/2022 08:49

Have just been having a morning chat with an old friend and she said how she was shocked that on Christmas Day we never go anywhere and it was a tad selfish to others. To explain my DH and I have 6 DC and since we had our first we have always said we want to spend Christmas in our own home. We don’t want to drag the DC away from home and their new toys etc we want to chill out at home. Any visiting is done on Boxing Day. We have my DB and close friend over on Christmas Day and that is our routine. We love it like that. My DF today on the phone said pop over for a Chrissy drink on Christmas Day ( her children are all late teens) and I declined and said no thanks. She thought that was strange and selfish. First time I have been called out on our tradition and now thinking that maybe it is selfish I look back over the years and yes we have refused quite a few invites to visit on Christmas Day. I just love getting up and being with the DC and not having to go out. I also love it just being the 10 of us all day and I can stay in my PJs if I want. ( we are extremely close to my DB and my DF who is a sis I never had )
what does everyone else do. ? Does anyone else just not go out ?

OP posts:

JustKeepSlimming · 08/12/2022 13:15

There's nothing wrong with being a bit selfish at Christmas anyway. As long as you're not abandoning someone who'd be on their own or whatever, do what you like!

Tabitha888 · 08/12/2022 13:20

You do you! Sounds absolutely magical xx

ChocolateBauble · 08/12/2022 13:21

I think when your DC are little Christmas should be about them and the magic of Christmas. You shouldn’t have to disrupt their day visiting people and dragging them away from their toys or yourself making Christmas dinner then having to drive around to other people homes.
If your friend thinks your selfish for not visiting her, then it works both ways and she is equally selfish sitting in the comfort of her own home and summoning you to her home!

Original poster

Highfivemum · 08/12/2022 18:08

Thank you for all your comments. I shrugged off my friend on the phone. She has lots of family around her so not on her own. I will happily stay with my little lot and be a recluse for the day enjoying my close family. I think the lesson from this is do as you want. Obviously if you have elderly relatives you have to put their needs into consideration but I don’t so will carry on with our own tradition.

OP posts:

Greenpolkadot · 08/12/2022 19:02

We dont usually go anywhere either, we just like being at home
Christmas day is for you and your children to be together, the kids want play with toys,
I can never understand why people think you are selfish just because you dont want to conform to their wishes,
I think its them that are selfish expecting you to.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 08/12/2022 19:37

My dad would never leave the house Christmas Day, fil was the same.I always used to think that was just the way things were. Then when I had my own family I thought what a pain it was. We still were expected to trek over with kids in tow, dh worked Boxing Day so we’d stay over. When dad died mum tried to keep it up, but then she came to us. Which brought its own hassles. Now there’s just us, we haven’t any family or friends and here we are staying at home.

RandyMandyy · 08/12/2022 19:41

We never go anywhere Christmas Day! I would if the kids wanted to but they don't.

Friends and family are welcome in our home all day long for food and drink but I stay in my pjs drinking fizz and no one's persuading me otherwise!

RandyMandyy · 08/12/2022 19:44

FeedMeTiramisu · 08/12/2022 13:07

I don't even look out the window christmas day let alone go outside!!!

🤣🤣🤣

CaptainThe95thRifles · 08/12/2022 20:01

Your friend is automatically unreasonable for the use of "Chrissy" drinks, which would rouse in me a festive rage of Herod-worthy magnitude.

Nobody has a right to demand your social presence at any time. I, personally, wouldn't like not to leave the house on Christmas day, but as have outdoor animals / livestock etc, that's my default setting, and it's very different to spending all day visiting people. Everyone gets to choose their own lifestyle and if staying in is what makes your family happy at Christmas, crack on!

Hobbitlover · 08/12/2022 20:06

Out to feed livestock/dog walk but other than that we stay home.

WineCap · 08/12/2022 20:13

Obviously you should be free to do as you wish on Christmas without judgement, but I personally prefer seeing extended family and enjoy the hustle and bustle of larger gatherings. A quiet Christmas makes me feel sad, and like it's just any other day but with presents and a roast. I can see that having a larger family would probably provide the same feeling mind you!

SunflowerSmith · 08/12/2022 20:18

Nbu at all, I hated having to visit gp's on Christmas day when I was a kid, I wanted to stay at home in my pj's and play with my presents.
One set of GP's were happy for us to go over on Christmas eve but the other set used to play their face when it was suggested and I quite resent my parents for not putting us first and saying we'd visit them on another day over the period.

I've always declined invites on Christmas day and love spending the day with dh and the kids, there were so many posts from people over the Covid Christmas saying how much they had enjoyed having the chance to have a small, cosy day for once.

Judijudi · 08/12/2022 20:27

We have had Xmas at home with 2dc for 20 years don’t go anywhere just chill, eat, cook, have a laugh together

SilverGlassHare · 08/12/2022 20:33

Our (metaphorical) drawbridge goes up on Christmas Eve evening and only comes down on the morning of 27th. No-one comes in or goes out.

PuppyMonkey · 08/12/2022 20:40

Selfish…

Heronwatcher · 08/12/2022 20:42

Yes and no. Obviously you should do what you want and enjoy the day but if you refuse all invites it might be difficult to change your mind a few years down the line. One day your kids might want to be doing their own thing somewhere else/ hungover/ not brilliant company and you might be glad of some company/ a change. We do Christmas completely differently every year, sometimes at home, sometimes with relatives, on holiday and I love the differences.

AlwaysGinPlease · 08/12/2022 20:44

We don't either. Other than a nice dog walk or two. A cosy Christmas Day at home. Perfect.

Original poster

Highfivemum · 08/12/2022 22:29

RandyMandyy · 08/12/2022 19:41

We never go anywhere Christmas Day! I would if the kids wanted to but they don't.

Friends and family are welcome in our home all day long for food and drink but I stay in my pjs drinking fizz and no one's persuading me otherwise!

Love this.

OP posts:

OnTheRunWithMannyMontana · 08/12/2022 22:34

The last 4 or 5 years we have stayed at home and we love it!

My SIL and her DP however do the rounds on Christmas Day, first to us for an hour, then to MIL, then to DPs grandparents, then to DPs mum then to DPs sister and eventually home.

Could not be bothered with that!

Original poster

Highfivemum · 08/12/2022 22:34

WineCap · 08/12/2022 20:13

Quiet 😳 I should be so lucky. 😂 6 DC all under 12 . I love it though.

OP posts:

thelengthspeoplegoto · 08/12/2022 22:45

No, Christmas Day is a home day for us too other than walking the dog. That's where the kids/toys/food/drink are. We are out pretty much every other day of the year! Christmas is chilled and completely on our terms.

goldfishthecracker · 08/12/2022 22:55

Hope you're happy for none of your kids to visit you at Christmas when they're old because 'at Christmas we don't leave the house'

somethinsomethin · 08/12/2022 23:48

We're the opposite of you. Christmas Day is for visiting family / friends and being visited too - usually take things in turns depending - and Boxing Day is for staying in jammies and getting stuck into the toys / leftovers.

I think if it's just your family and you don't see anyone, fair enough to stay home. BUT if you expect others to come and see you (or if other people feel like THEY'RE expected to do the travelling) then yes it is a bit selfish.

I'd personally feel like sitting in my house all day is a bit of a waste of what is one of the best days off the year. We usually do presents, go out for a walk up the woods and take any outdoor toys they might have gotten, then along to my brother's for breakfast and the kids to have a play. Home to get ready, then I pick up elderly relatives before we go wherever we're going for dinner. Ex gets kids every second year for Xmas evening so those years I'll drive over to my gran and papa's house in the evening just to sit and have a cuppa with them (and pick at their leftover meat haha!). Then home and jammies on about 9/10pm. I looooove seeing everyone and their kids and not even a "deadly pandemic" would make me sit at home with just my own kids all day.

ShowOfHands · 08/12/2022 23:57

It's fine to do it your own way but no need to denigrate other people's choices. I loathe the rhetoric of "dragging the DC" anywhere. As a child, I was keenly aware that my grandparents were desperate to see us on the day and my Mum refused. We were all the family they had. As soon as I could host, I invited my Grandma and Aunt, sibling, parents etc and have adored every moment. Now my Mum even shares hosting and loves it, probably because she has her own grandchildren now. I check every year and the DC always want to see cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents. For them, Christmas isn't about toys really, they want to see family. I lost my grandmothers just before lockdown and earlier this year respectively and I cherish the memories of spending those Christmases with them.

Quiet Christmases are probably a joy so take pride in that but please stop with the dragging, traipsing rhetoric.

watcherintherye · 09/12/2022 00:04

in my parents’ town we play “who does a ‘Merry Christmas’ nod and greeting and who’s an arsehole”.

They might just be shy or embarrassed? I wouldn't make eye contact or greet you cheerily if I thought you were assessing my response!

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread