CSA - they do fuck all

[dawnfromgavinandstacey]

Long story short.

My exh is self employed. Pays the minimum they can get.

I've had a variation applied every year. Every year it comes back he should be paying more. Nothing ever gets done.

Ever. He owes £11k to my daughter.

He was supposed to pay £300 this month as I'd had a variation applied again. They sent £140.

I am so sick of this.

Every month I call them and say he hasn't paid the full amount. Every month they add it to the debt they never do fuck all about.

My aibu is nothing really just what the actual can I do.

I'm sick of this.

I just wanted a rant.

I've been to court, the amount has been applied by the court. He doesn't pay it ever. He didn't even turn up to any of the hearings.

I am sooo sick of it.

I want this fucker to pay because what he owes her would pay for her uni fees or a house deposit or anything really for her.

Why is our system so fucked up that nothing is ever fucking done.

I'm just on my last nerve and I'm sick of them doing fuck all.

If I contact my mp can anyone help me with a letter?

This is shit. I don't "Need" it but ffs she will one day.

I'm just so angry tonight about it all. I will need to spend another two hours on hold to the CMS again tomorrow and they will just mark it down on my case and do fuck all again.

Is there anyone who can help me.

Is there a csa person who can do an ama so I can understand why it's so shit for the resident parent.

All great ideas But in the UK you get “but if his driving licence is gone, how can he pay what he owes as he can’t work?” Don’t refuse to pay in the first place, perhaps? BuT wHaT aBoUt ThE mEn attitude, in short.

Mine hasn’t even met our much wanted child that he pleaded with me to TTC for, much less does any parenting at all, nor does he pay a penny.

Part of the problem is that some of them job hop. And it takes HMRC months to tell CMS where they’re working for a DofE to be set up, which then takes CMS months to set up AND they send a warning letter stating when the first payment will be removed from their wages, which gives them a heads up.

@GeorgiaGirl52 women can't do any of that in the UK. It is dealt with by CMS and they don't deal with it. Your helpless because the system is rigged with so many different ways to get the payments halted and payments are left to accrue and never chased or enforced to be paid.

The minute they are owed from women...

The system when RP's on benefits only got to keep £20 a week of maintenance and the rest was owed to the Sec. of State toward the benefits bill was just as shit at getting money out of (predominantly) men.

The debt owed by NRP's to SoS got so big it was decided that something had to be done... so they said that RP's could all maintenance and it wouldn't affect benefits.

There is zero political will generally to do anything.

That said if your MP is good (I know they are few and far between) then it's worth getting them involved. I briefly worked for CMS (it's soul destroying how shit they are - most of the people I worked with were unaware of the majority of CMS's powers) and the only time people got anywhere was with MP's who hassled and hassled on their behalf.

I hear you OP, it’s disgusting, my ex is black cab driver in London earning £££££, declared bare minimum, I was awarded £10 a month from CSA, it’s beyond belief how anti-mothers the system is while deadbeat dads laugh all the way to the bank and have no conscience for how their child is being clothed and fed, etc

This only works if A - they stay in the employment that the deduction is arranged with after it's (finally) sorted. B - they declare any income of self employed. Can't take a percentage of nothing after all!

They can take one off, or repeat, payments from a bank account to go toward debts though.

they never do, but they can.

They can do a lot of things, but they never do. Like to promise it all at first. Doesn't happen in reality. They can also only take money that is there. The avoiding men will have the money coming in in cash or going in to other accounts (in my case the girlfriends)

Most of the time guys have some money in their accounts as they don’t realise CMS don’t need a court order or DEO to take money. Sadly most of CMS don’t realise that either.

Same with putting a charge on a house - I mentioned it on one of my first days and the person training me was completely unaware that was one of the things they can do.

I know someone who worked for the equivalent of the CMS in another country. Sh DELIGHTED in catching and squeezing people who didn't pay. She could take away their driving (or any) licence. She could garnish them in many exciting ways. She could even think about prison for them.

We need a proper system that make sit much worse not to pay.

The sexism is clear. No one cares because it is mostly women, poorer women at that.

It’s beyond disgusting that this is how (mostly women) are treated in the UK and the government do absolutely nothing. I have no answer for you but could you approach your MP? I don’t know if any of the political parties in the UK support change in CMS but urging everyone to vote carefully at the next general election. It’s absolutely vile that this is the truth of it. Its still shit to be a woman in 2022. I hope your exH gets some karma in his life. xox

I only got CM after many years by contacting my MP. The CMS phoned me the next day, couldn't be more helpful and put a DOE order in place.

He does job hop a bit so I don't always get the payments but I make sure I don't rely on them.

The difference is they have capacity and resource in their economy to send non-payers to jail.

they will never do that in UK because it's fiscally and logistically impossible to send so many lying, feckless arses of fathers to prison. You'd need double the prisons and double the capacity to even scratch the surface. Ha, If only.

I'm impressed we've made it to p3 without "whatabouttery" the evil RPs who prevent contact or the nrps partners posting about how their poor man can't afford the "unfair" payments. 100% agree with what everyone has written, especially the idea, that I've suggested before, that the state should pay a set minimum or the equivalent of what the nrp has been assessed for and then make it a debt the nrp owes to the state. Bet that won't get written off. It could be held against any future benefit (not illness or pip) and state pension.

My father (not "D"F) took it to the next level.

He had a business here. He rarely paid any CM. He gave the business to his girlfriend's son. The girlfriend's son had the business now and had a verbal agreement with my father to pay my mother, instead of buying the business.

And what did he do? Bought a yacht. Went to travel the world with his girlfriend and their friends!!! Literally no fixed address and no way at all to contact him, unless they stayed at a harbour for a longer time.

And the son? He had to contact my mother and apologise because he couldn't pay anything: the business was in debt to HRMC because my father hadn't paid taxes for ages (can't remember how long, but ages).

In the end business was sold, HMRC was paid and the son went to live his life (good!).

Meanwhile we grew up in poverty, with a mother who was constantly stressed about money. My mother was hugely abusive which father knew about, partly why he left (and left two young kids alone with her..). And his family think I should have forgiven him by now, it's all in the past.

I have a friend whose ex moved overseas with an expatriate contract (home and travel paid, tax free etc). He's said as they're divorced he doesn't consider the kids his. He's literally living in luxury. She's using a food bank for her and their kids.

I am disgusted at the extent to which men can just give up their responsibilities.

I have a rare success story.
EXH flatly refused to pay for years, arrears built up.
He ignored the letters, the calls and the bailiffs.
CSA had a possession order placed on his house, and literally at the last hour came to an agreement to pay the debt.
Our son is now 27, with his own home and business, and I get £250 each month.
Ironic thing is..... I don't even need it now, I did when I used to beg him to help with the cost of a winter coat, and he would laugh in my face.
The possession order was for well over 20k, and he didn't start paying it back until our child was at university.
I totally agree that the system is ridiculous, dreadfully unfair.

I think these fathers should be charged with child neglect. If the mother did the same as the father and stopped paying/providing a home, food, clothing warmth etc and also just fucked off, she'd be charged with neglect.

The system inherently believed that when a woman has a child she's responsible for him/her for minimum the next 18 years. The system does not view fathers the same.

The mother shouldn't have to bring a case either. A children's advocate should do it. A bit like in domestic violence cases where the case can proceed without the victim bringing it.

I'm so glad it worked out in your case. Does help when they have some assets. Deliberately avoiding men are smarter these days though. My ex doesn't own his home and anything of value will be in his girlfriends name (car etc). It's easier now - men can go online for tips and advice on how to avoid paying at all costs. Those determined enough will never pay

I can't stand them. My ex owns his own business but somehow manages to pay no tax at all. He claims UC so they only ever base his assessment on that, so I get £29 a month. I have provided them with so much evidence from social media of his business but they still do fuck all. He owed arrears of £4.5k, was taken to court in November by them yet because then decided to sign on, they won't go after him for his arrears. The system is a joke. Fortunately I'm on an Ok salary, but if I was on min.wage, id be stuffed. Not surprisingly he plays like he is mister wonder dad and the victim. They are q disgrace and not fit for purpose.

In parts of the US they actually garner wages, size assets, revoke driving licenses and send people to jail for non payment

These are all things that can be done here once the CMS obtains a liability order. These are all within their power. No idea how often they choose to do them, but a FOI request might tell you.

Wages can't be taken from someone who isn't on PAYE, though.

I wish there was a way to know what companies these men set up so the rest of could avoid them.
I'm one of the rare people who do get maintenance but my ex has been employed in the same job for ever.

My dmum had a nightmare with them I'm one of 3 dc. He left when youngest was 2. DMum signed up to cma and they told him he had to pay. Then he disappeared, every year dmum would get a letter asking if she knows where he is! Me and other dc got phone calls asking if we knew which just upset us when we was younger always near Christmas as if to remind us that hes a deadbeat. When the youngest dc turned 18 he magically reappeared. Wanted to be in our lives now his debt was wiped. Fucking asshole no doubt I told him where to go! So take some comfort in fact your dc may want nothing to do with him and see his true colours. Watching my dmum struggle on her own but still was able to give us a great childhood. We never missed out but she sacrificed so much for us. Parents who don't pay maintenance are scum.

I agree. I don’t have a child, but it infuriates me to see so many women struggling, whilst the fathers waltz off, and think they’re being clever by avoiding payments.

If someone wants to put a petition to get this issue addressed in Parliament, I’d definitely sign it, and send to friends, family, colleagues…

Went through this stage myself. The banks do not have to respond in a timely manner. And when they do, they only send the balance of THAT day. Also, CMS notify the NRP - that gives them time to move funds.

And this is why so many adults have nothing to do with their useless fathers.

Report for benefit fraud