Long story so I’ll be as brief as possible.
Husband runs a small team at work, for the last 10 years or so, all men. Just recently he poached a woman from another team and went on and on about her and how good she was etc. I didn’t think anything of it.
Fast forward a month or so, she’s now fully in his office daily and the early hours of one morning he calls out her name, repeatedly in his sleep. I sat up absolutely shocked for a few minutes, then led back down to go to sleep he then instinctively rolls over to hug me, gropes me and I realise thts an erection pressing against my back.
I fronted him about it, I got the standard ‘am I not allowed to have female friends’ and that I’m ‘just paranoid’ (I will mention here that he has form, 5 years ago) we spent a week or so barely speaking and it sort of got forgotten about.
So then fast forward to tonight. Not sure what possessed me (as I haven’t previously) but I went on his work phone. There must’ve been 100 messages exchanged today alone. In the main, work’ish’ related. But imo far too many flirty emojis 🙄) Mainly her slagging off other members of staff. But littered in between the worky messages are random things like he sent a load of pictures of his bike that he’s been trying to fix. Judging from her responses she’s not into cycling so he can’t have sent it for that reason. Then at like 730 this evening (he’d finished working by 530 because he was wfh) she’s sent a message saying ‘gosh just been outside for the first time today isn’t it nippy’ and whilst I was out at an appointment (and he’s watching our 5 month old baby) he’s found the time to reply. For context he doesn’t normally look at his work phone at all of an evening or weekend and now it’s attached to him.
So we’ve had the mumsnet famous ‘mentionitis’ since she came on the scene.
Calling out her name in his sleep.
All this non work texting
He’s had to recently have a whole new wardrobe of work clothes.
When we first had the baby he was wfh two days a week and now it’s hardly ever.
Work days are getting longer and longer yet in the next sentence he’s telling me it’s winding down for Christmas and really quiet at work.
And just for added context, she is married, to someone very senior in the same company. I’m not sure if that tells you she’s happy to sleep to get somewhere or that if it means it’s unlikely.
Help me out. Am I being paranoid? Because in my experience this is how it starts and given what happened 5 years ago I’m just not strong enough to go through it again.