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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nativity disappointment why do teachers do it

417 replies

Bucketheadbucketbum · 07/12/2022 18:42

Want to key stage 2 nativity today. It was 1 hour long! Approx 40 kids in it. Some children had multiple lines throughout the hour, on the stage for the bulk of the time, solo songs the works. Others had just one line and spent the rest of the time sitting to the side apart from group songs where they all stood up. I understand all parts cant be equal and it must be a nightmare to try and be fair but this was shockingly poorly distrubuted. Why would you do this as a teacher? So disappointing for the children and parents unless you happen to be one of the "stars" of the show.

OP posts:
lightisnotwhite · 07/12/2022 19:03

Trouble is talking in front of a crowd is a good life skill even if the kids hate it. And in many cases the kids that don’t volunteer have little idea of the reality of being on stage. It’s exciting and audiences are supportive.
I agree Op that parts should be more equal and all children get a bit of star turn time.

TheaBrandt · 07/12/2022 19:04

Teachers can’t win. If they do one of those plays where everyone has a part then it gets slagged off for not being a “traditional” nativity…

Dottymug · 07/12/2022 19:04

@lightisnotwhite are you kidding? You'd force a young child who hates being in the limelight to perform? Not a chance I'd be doing that.

Pumperthepumper · 07/12/2022 19:05

lightisnotwhite · 07/12/2022 19:03

Trouble is talking in front of a crowd is a good life skill even if the kids hate it. And in many cases the kids that don’t volunteer have little idea of the reality of being on stage. It’s exciting and audiences are supportive.
I agree Op that parts should be more equal and all children get a bit of star turn time.

It’s not a good life skill if they hate it, it’s humiliating and that’s all they’ll take away from it.

modgepodge · 07/12/2022 19:06

I was at my daughters nativity this week (preschool and reception mixed) - they had ensured every reception child had some lines, some more than others. One girls walked on stage, looked at the audience and burst in to tears. She then didn’t join in the singing for the rest of it. She probably would have been better off being in the chorus with the preschool lot! You can’t win!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 07/12/2022 19:06

Our school asks the kids who wants lines, who wants to sing in small groups etc and who wants to just be in the chorus.

GerardusMercator · 07/12/2022 19:06

Bucketheadbucketbum · 07/12/2022 18:52

Yes I understand that not all children are equal and thr play can't have 45 equal parts but it was the way those who didn't have big parts were basically just sat at the side for an hour while the main characters performed that was so uninclusive.

Did your child not get the part you had hoped for?

HeyManIJustWantSomeMuesli · 07/12/2022 19:07

At my DC school they were asked if they wanted a speaking role or not; lots of children are very happy to ‘just’ be in the background/chorus.

pastypirate · 07/12/2022 19:07

Yanbu we have had this bullshit every year with the dds. Dd2 does theatre school and lamda and it makes no difference she's always in the choir.

bloodyplanes · 07/12/2022 19:07

In my dd primary school, it was always the same 2 kids that got the good parts every year! Funnily enough one was a teachers dd and the other one was teachers best friends dd 🙄

Trustmeimadoctor · 07/12/2022 19:09

I’ve seen 3 kids through primary school now and IME it’s always the same kids that get the main parts. My oldest 2 were quite shy and happy in the chorus. My youngest is the polar opposite and was disappointed to be saying one line as a group of 4. None of them were asked (as reliable as 4-7 year olds are!)

Disappointment is a good life skill (as is public speaking tbh) but I do think more should be done to make it equitable. The star of my older daughters class show every year was the grand daughter of the assistant head, make of that what you may.

Stressedmum2017 · 07/12/2022 19:09

An hour think yourself lucky we went to one that was 3 hours, for KS1!! Just felt sorry for all the 5 year olds getting hissed at and shusshed by the teachers for getting fidgety on the floor. Like what the actual fuck do you expect? I was crawling out my skin to stand and go let alone the kids!! Seems like some teachers just don't understand kids at all despite the fact they deal with them all day every day 🙄🙄

Han99 · 07/12/2022 19:10

My eldest would hate to be the star of the show so I'm glad they don't take your approach. I'm also grateful for all the extra time and effort the staff put into things like Xmas plays.

viques · 07/12/2022 19:10

lightisnotwhite · 07/12/2022 19:03

Trouble is talking in front of a crowd is a good life skill even if the kids hate it. And in many cases the kids that don’t volunteer have little idea of the reality of being on stage. It’s exciting and audiences are supportive.
I agree Op that parts should be more equal and all children get a bit of star turn time.

But there are plenty of opportunities for those children to develop speaking skills in school, speaking in assembly, speaking in front of the class, reading out part of your story or account, giving a presentation as a group. It isn’t once a year blink and miss it , for some kids speaking up, or reading from a prepared speech isn’t the problem, it’s the acting bit they hate ( and I am with them on that one.)

Mrsuntidy · 07/12/2022 19:11

YABU. It is a really difficult job and you find in KS2 children start wanting small roles. When I did my Easter service, I found I had more children who wanted non-speaking roles. Teachers care. That's why we teach. A lot of thought would have gone into each part and each child.

viques · 07/12/2022 19:12

pastypirate · 07/12/2022 19:07

Yanbu we have had this bullshit every year with the dds. Dd2 does theatre school and lamda and it makes no difference she's always in the choir.

So she gets her time in the spotlight, phew.

WeeWillyWinkie9 · 07/12/2022 19:12

devildeepbluesea · 07/12/2022 18:50

I’d agree with those PP defending teachers, except we all know full well that plenty of kids would like to be the stars, but because their faces don’t fit they don’t get the chance. The same kids get the good pets tear in year out.

I get this complaint every single year. I always point out how the selection process goes. I tell them the big parts, the small parts and those without words. I then ask for a 1st and 2nd choice. Every child gets a choice. Mary and Joseph are pulled out of a hat by someone not in our class. Still the moaners moan.

FancyFanny · 07/12/2022 19:12

Because the play would be rubbish if the main parts were given to children who forgot all their lines, mumbled, couldn't sing well and got stage fright half way through.

ladydimitrescu · 07/12/2022 19:12

So your child didn't get the part you'd have liked then, that's basically what you're saying isn't it?

Dottymug · 07/12/2022 19:12

If we did a nationwide poll I'm almost positive that despite the stories that appear on here every year, that teachers' children are least likely to have the starring role in the school play.

itsjustnotok · 07/12/2022 19:14

@Bucketheadbucketbum i think the teachers have to use a bit of common sense and awareness. I get that maybe they should think about a bit more distribution depending on the case but there are some kids who really don’t cope well in the spotlight. One little lad in DD’s reception class had an accident because he feared having to participate. It’s not for everyone.

Fundays12 · 07/12/2022 19:14

2 out of 3 of my kids would hate bring centre stage as do me and there dad. Not all kids like it as long as they are all included in some way if they want to it's not an issue.

feathermucker · 07/12/2022 19:15

If your son's best friend had got a bigger part, you probably wouldn't have written the post.

Teachers have enough to deal with already from parents without this sort of bollocks.

Izadrennan · 07/12/2022 19:15

I'd be more frustrated at the length of time they were expected to sit for, it must be very difficult to have as many children that age to stay settled and quiet, short and sweet works best in my experience, and I agree with some children love being front of stage and others prefer being in the background.

Tinseltosser · 07/12/2022 19:16

Oh god we had that today.

DD was sat right at the back and when other children stood up to dance/sing we couldn't even see her.

Spent 45 minutes, 45 FUCKING MINUTES, watching other peoples kids shit singing/acting, wishing my eyeballs would melt out of my head from boredom and being stressed I was wasting this hour when there was a million more things for me to do.

She'll have D&V next year on the day of the Christmas carol...