To be ever so slightly tired of secret santa!

[WinterLobelia]

Particularly at the moment with the cost of living and all that.

I have just counted up the secret santas (workplaces for DH and I; school class; hobby groups for DCs etc etc) that my family are being asked to participate in and it amounts to about 8 requests with an upper limit 'suggested' of around £10 per request in total.

I can afford it (through gritted teeth as I don't particularly want to piss £80 away) but there are people who cannot. I and another colleague have already offered to purchase a mutual colleague's secret santa gift on her behalf as she was in tears about a workplace one. (opting out is technically an option, but our workplace is fairly toxic and she would be targeted if she is not seen to participate).

Surely with the cost of living crisis that we are all in right now there is a little more understanding that it might 'just' be a tenner but it is too much for many? Not least when you add it to everything else.

(Don't get me started on the secret santa plan for the DCs class. I feel we have to participate in this otherwise my children will feel mortified to not be able to put their gift in. Again it is a school where most likely everyone can afford it, but I certainly don't assume this.).

Just venting, and I am sure I am not BU! (Although possibly very grinch-like)

That's alot of secret Santa...I've only got one to do and it's been fun

I think it's more than last year tbh. Last year was workplaces x 2 and the class one.

Just make gifts. Edible ones are absolute best. Chilli sauce, Irish cream, or something fun and little like candles or Christmas decorations. Make a production line. Good luck, and next year put your foot down and say no!

Wow that's a lot. I don't have any and when we used to do a work one it was £5. I do have to contribute towards my kids' teachers' presents but that's £5 each again.

I can afford it, (with resentment) but I am more thinking of others who can't. I am going to suggest to the organiser of one of DS1's groups that they drop it though as I know there are some people struggling. I honestly was not expecting the class ones to happen again, but it's an independent school so I assume they think it's all okay for everyone.

Don't spend £10 per gift. Keep it simple. For children's ones you can buy cheap Christmas crafts sets from places like The Works for £1, add in a chocolate Santa and a pair of Christmas socks from somewhere like Poundland (so probably £4 in total).
For adults a Christmas themed novel (£2.50 from The Works) plus a choc santa.

I hate Secret Santa. We have a work one too and people just buy tat that goes in landfill because “it’s hilarious”.

Then just quietly and politely opt out if you think they are unreasonable.
Use it as a way to model good behaviour to your children, show them you don’t have to be a sheep and do something just because everyone else is.
If you take the lead I’m I sure some people will follow your example.

£10 upper limit …. You can spend whatever you like under there. The fun, thoughtful, made stuff if often better than some generic Boots set.

I think Secret Santa is a generally terrible idea that should go. It’s just a waste of time, energy and money. £10 is a ridiculous amount. That’s the amount we spend on family.

People do it to save money, rather than buying for all you buy for one. However if you wouldn't usually buy anything then it becomes a crap expense!

My 14 year old and friends just do secret Santa so get one nice thing for £10 rather than buying loads of presents that cost a fortune

I like it. Our limit was a tenner but I spent £15 as I wanted to get my person something she’d really like. In our group we’ll probably all spend a bit extra, we usually do anyway.

It works when you have a group who would normally all buy gifts for each other and it reduces this and you all know each other well so can get relevant things.

But i find work ones awful. I opt out now.

Yup, absolutely hate it. Its fine if it replaces giving lots of people you love presents to manage costs (ie within families) but not if it's groups you would never have given presents to anyway! We have a limited of £5 at work and it has to be recycled or homemade, to avoid the parade of tat. Nice idea in theory but I just feel like I've been given homework! I'd just rather not bother at all, and I'm not the only one, but no one wants to be the
Grinch

@Cluelessasacucumber "recycled" gifts are the easiest. Go to a charity shop and buy a paperback. 3 for £1 in many shops.

Surely you can choose to not take part. We do one at work but not everybody joins in. If people can't afford it - say no.

Can you plan to regift some of the earlier ones in the later ones and just keep a cycle going? Don't give the alcoholic chocs to the kids class but some of the others will possibly work.

The thing about Secret Santa is it only really works in small trans where people know each other well.

In a huge environment like a school or a giant company it’s impossible to really know someone and you’re basically throwing money away on pointless tat.

If you've a large family it can be easier to spend day £30-£40 on one present.

Spending £5-£10 on work colleagues is a bit daft but I suppose that's the point. I'd hate to have to buy a jokey / pointless gift though.

Small teams not trans! FFS

I hear you.

I have a work secret Santa, a secret Santa amongst my NCT group and a secret Santa for another group I attend with the DC.

Its not so much the cost (although in your case it is) but my grumble is that because there is a £5 limit it means whatever I buy will be a bit crap, which means there’s subtle pressure to spend that bit more. So what should be £15 is £30, which would actually be a nice ‘proper’ gift for someone. Grr!

Thank goodness I have had two workplaces where someone had the ovaries to say they did not feel comfortable with doing a secret santa as it can be wasteful.

In one case it was diverted to a local radio Christmas Mission where you buy something for a child who might otherwise get little or nothing (they suggest gifts for different age ranges). That ended up being a whole building collection so multiple secret santas were diverted.

In another work place a boss enthusiastically suggested, a lone voice spoke up (not me!) and we ended up agreeing to donate to a food bank.

In both cases there was no monitoring who had contributed.

@NotSorry I agree

Does anyone actually enjoy it ?!

@Namechangeforthis88 i would love either of those suggestions

Some people are a bit funny about home made edible gifts.