To tell my DH bollocks

[Slippersnotshoes]

Hi all,

My amazing parents sadly lost their beautiful dog in September. Both would love another, they are mid & early 60's both activitie and wonderful caring dog owners.

I would absolutely love to buy my parents a dog for Christmas (I know a dogs not for Christmas blah blah blah as I've said they are amazing dog owners)

My thoughts are a puppy, even though they'd love to rescue, it's just to tricky with grandchildren going round very regularly ageing from 3 to 21!! A puppy would be easier to train and crate whilst grandchildren are there. A rescue could be unpredictable.

I have discussed this with my parents and they are absolutely blown away and beyond grateful and both got very emotional. I had discussed this with DH before hand and he was fine with it because he genuinely believed they'd decline a new dog but because they've said yes he's absolutely hit the roof today.

My reasons for telling him bollocks is because.... it's my money, it won't effect him one tiny bit financially and I can afford to do this for my parents.
I don't tell him how to spend his money. He recently gave his cousin £2000 as he'd ran up a credit card bill and was working 15 hour shifts to pay it off. He also gives his ex £100 per week for his 17 year old DS which to be honest I think is good of him. He DS also works for him 3 days per week so gets his own wage too and ontop of that his driving lessons paid for by my DH. My DH and his DM have such a complicated relationship she is basically absolutely vile to DH but he's brought her a car in the past, he's paid for her home to be carpeted and decorated. He basically tries so hard and she takes takes takes but is so nasty to him.

On the other hand back when we had literally nothing in the early days (other than my wage to live on) when he decided to set up his own business and couldn't afford a van it was my parents who took a loan out for him to get a van and they ask for nothing. They've loved my DSS as their own grandchild since he was 2 years old treating him completely equal to all other grandchildren, they are great to us and they adore my DH.

DH isn't a dog lover at all and doesn't see why they'd want another dog, I on the other hand love dogs and see how much joy they bring. It's also a great way to keep my parents active and social.

AIBU to tell him to fuck off and for once I'm doing something for my parents?

Staffies are extremely dangerous, unpredictable creatures. I wouldn't have my child around one, ever. Not even a well trained one. The bullshit about it being all about "how they're raised" is just that! Total nonsense. It's their instinct, it's in their DNA, just like with Pitbulls & Japanese Akitas.

This is SUCH COMPLETE AND UTTER bollocks.

@MadameMackenzie not my experience at all. Family and friends have all had well trained Staffs.
That's why I know they're my favourite dog.

Anyone with sense knows not to leave young children and dogs alone.

@MadameMackenzie Staffies make excellent family dogs, obviously all dogs need to be trained and any sensible owner would not leave any dog and child alone together, but saying they are extremely dangerous, unpredictable creatures is quite frankly a load of bollocks.

YABU - bringing a dog (especially a puppy) into a new house around lots of excited children at Christmas is not good for anyone, especially the dog. If you must 'buy a dog for Christmas' at least bring it home in January when things have calmed down a bit, and the animal has a chance of setting in calmly.

And what @DarkMatternix said

@bluegreygreen the children don't live there and won't all be there on Christmas. Over Christmas they are in their own homes but through a general week DGC visit. For example youngest is at nursery 3 mornings a week so he goes to my DM's on those afternoons. She picks my 8 year old nephew up from school for 2 hours twice a week and will have my 2 nieces for a few hours on a weekend. The other DGC are teenagers/adults and pop in regularly to see my parents.

@MadameMackenzie this is not my experience at all and staffs have actually won best breed a few times. They are gentle dogs also known as nanny dogs for their gentle nature around children. Staffs have been in my family for many years and have been great.

Your husband's reaction "he hit the roof" is so bizarre, even if he loathes dogs and thinks it's a waste of money. Surely the normal thing to say, if you feel you have to pass comment, is to say matter of factly "what a waste of money" and leave it at that. There has to be more to this surely? And you say he was "really upset" when your parents' previous dog died - again doesn't make sense if he doesn't even like dogs. Sounds a bit performative and attention seeking. Is he jealous of the emotional reaction you got from your parents? Maybe because it doesn't include him?

OP, you've got mumsnet endorsement. 🙂I should ignore the thread now as the people rocking up to criticise are both wrong and a waste of time.