To tell my DH bollocks

[Slippersnotshoes]

Hi all,

My amazing parents sadly lost their beautiful dog in September. Both would love another, they are mid & early 60's both activitie and wonderful caring dog owners.

I would absolutely love to buy my parents a dog for Christmas (I know a dogs not for Christmas blah blah blah as I've said they are amazing dog owners)

My thoughts are a puppy, even though they'd love to rescue, it's just to tricky with grandchildren going round very regularly ageing from 3 to 21!! A puppy would be easier to train and crate whilst grandchildren are there. A rescue could be unpredictable.

I have discussed this with my parents and they are absolutely blown away and beyond grateful and both got very emotional. I had discussed this with DH before hand and he was fine with it because he genuinely believed they'd decline a new dog but because they've said yes he's absolutely hit the roof today.

My reasons for telling him bollocks is because.... it's my money, it won't effect him one tiny bit financially and I can afford to do this for my parents.
I don't tell him how to spend his money. He recently gave his cousin £2000 as he'd ran up a credit card bill and was working 15 hour shifts to pay it off. He also gives his ex £100 per week for his 17 year old DS which to be honest I think is good of him. He DS also works for him 3 days per week so gets his own wage too and ontop of that his driving lessons paid for by my DH. My DH and his DM have such a complicated relationship she is basically absolutely vile to DH but he's brought her a car in the past, he's paid for her home to be carpeted and decorated. He basically tries so hard and she takes takes takes but is so nasty to him.

On the other hand back when we had literally nothing in the early days (other than my wage to live on) when he decided to set up his own business and couldn't afford a van it was my parents who took a loan out for him to get a van and they ask for nothing. They've loved my DSS as their own grandchild since he was 2 years old treating him completely equal to all other grandchildren, they are great to us and they adore my DH.

DH isn't a dog lover at all and doesn't see why they'd want another dog, I on the other hand love dogs and see how much joy they bring. It's also a great way to keep my parents active and social.

AIBU to tell him to fuck off and for once I'm doing something for my parents?

Tell him to piss off

But please don't write off a rescue because nothing is more unpredictable than a puppy, and if your parents are good dog owners they will be able to love a rescue regardless.

Absolutely tell him to bugger off. IMO it is actually quite cruel of him to even consider asking you to retract the offer of a dog when as you've already said they've communicated how thrilled they are at the offer.

Firstly 😍😍😍 He’s BEAUTIFUL! And I’m a cat person. Those paws tho!

Secondly, you already know you’re not being unreasonable but I hope you’re rubbing it in with the overwhelming support you’re getting on here 😁

Only unreasonable bit is no decent breeder would agree and take a deposit for a pup where they haven't even met the potential owners - massive red flag.

@dolor it's more of them being told no due to children being in their home on a regular basis. My brother tried for 3 years to get a rescue but was turned down due to DC not being over 13. I don't want my parents to wait that long and I also wouldn't want anything bad happening to any DC. Should their house not be full of excited DGC on a regular basis we'd all love them to rescue. Like that last dog it would be nice to raise them around the DGC. I feel taking a rescue without knowing their past into a busy home with children could end in disaster. Just to add dogs are in our family so DGC know how to behave around them.

FYI, "blue" dogs are not a natural occurrence, and they tend to develop really bad health issues especially if they are a breed that's flat faced, like Frenchies for example. You mention they would want a brindle, that's definitely a better choice. People keep creating blue and blue merle dogs for the sheer amount of money they can get for them, but they almost certainly fall ill with cancer and other awful things.

Currently the most overbred animals, are Frenchies and blue staffies.

I know I'm going on about the rescue thing, but so many people got dogs in lockdown and sent them to shelters when we were allowed back into somewhere close to normality, so there are so many lovely animals that need homes. It surely wouldn't hurt to look, right?

Puppy mills do this a lot :(

@DarkMatternix I've met the family they know the situation and they are highly rated. Deposit was because I knew they'd love him and didn't want him to be gone.

@LaughingCat 🥰❤️🥰❤️

You don’t think his lack of enthusiasm could stem from your mother being absolutely vile towards him?

I think if you can help fix whatever that issue is he might become more on board with you being generous towards your parents.

Fair dos.

@Snoken
What the hell are you on about ?

@Snoken it's not my mum it's his mum that's vile to him. My mum has done nothing but love, encourage and believe in him.

@Snoken read the original post properly

Got to agree, you sound quite territorial there. He was the lads dad before being your husband.

Look into rescuing rather than lining the pockets of a breeder.

Sorry, my bad. Couldn’t figure out why nobody else was pointing that out when it seemed to be the obvious reason😅

Oh he's gorgeous 😍 thank you OP!!

@Snoken 🤣 no problem.

@userxx I have no problem with how he spends his money. He looks after and provides for his son which I absolutely agree with whereas others don't think he should be paying what he does. He goes out and earns his money and spends it as he see's fit. My point is I don't dictate to him and I also go out and earn my my own money and I don't feel I should be told what I can and cannot spend it on which I've explained. I've also said why unfortunately a rescue wouldn't be suitable although a rescue would be first choice.

You've paid a grand for a staffy when the rescues centres are BRIMMING with this breed, a breed that doesn't do well in kennels. I fucking despair.

💯

@userxx please reasld previous replies. It states they have DGC from age of 3. It's a busy full house most evenings with DGC visiting (I have 5 brothers with DC) .Majority of rescue centres don't rehome dogs especially staffys where children under the age of 13 are so please don't despare at me....I don't make make the rules and regulations!! Due to my parents age they can't wait and wait.

@userxx I also don't breed buy and abuse it's a one off purchase for my parents happiness. Your aiming your disgust in the wrong place here!!

That is a very cute puppy. If i ever got a dog it would be a staffy .

@catandcoffee he's adorable, my parents first got a staffy when I was around 3 and he was absolutely brilliant as was their last one....and hopefully this one will be too 🙂

This

PP meant the breaded shouldn't have accepted the deposit until they met your parents.