AIBU to have not given up my parking spot?

[KHR1606]

Sorry for the long post.....

I parked my car in the IKEA car park this morning. The bays next to me were for electric vehicles. I got out my car & went in the back to get my 18 month old DS out his car seat & to put his coat on. We then went to the boot to get his trike out. DS is stood next to me as I'm unfolding & securing the trike.

A woman then approaches me politely asking for my spot so she can charge her car. I look at the ground to see if I've parked in the electric bay. I see that I haven't & say "I can park here" she says, "I can too!" I politely say no because that'd mean me undoing the trike & putting it away then taking my son's coat off & putting him back in his seat then driving around for another spot. Just the thought of it wore me out! She offered to help but again I politely said I'm not willing to do it because it's just too much hassle.

The woman persisted & persisted & persisted, I'm not exaggerating. She kept saying I have an appointment & I need to charge my car. Again I said no. I said if I was without DS I would have given you my spot. She wouldn't stop asking so I got really fed up & shouted loudly, "Oh for f**k sake!" It's only then that she walked away to her car which was 2 bays away....... charging!!!!!

I didn't even realise her car was on charge because I was too busy getting DS in the trike. As I was strapping him in I heard her say "bitch", "evil", the sound of spitting but not actually spitting. All this time I was looking at DS's face talking & smiling with him. It's only when I was ready to walk off that I asked, "did you say something!?" She sarcastically smiled & said no!

She then went on again about it wouldn't have taken me long to move my car. I again repeated myself that I was parked in a suitable bay & I wasn't going to inconvenience myself & DS for her. I told her that being out with a child is sometimes difficult. She said I have a child too. I replied "Then you know! Stop being entitled!" All of this was being shouted. We had people looking at us.

I walked off and said have a lovely day!! It's only when I walked off & called my sister to vent that I realised her car was charging. Why the f**k did she want my spot then? Why ask a mother & toddler to move?
I'm glad I didn't move, especially after calling me a bitch and evil. She must not know about Jeffrey Dahmer if she thinks I'm evil!

Well - perhaps OP is sitting with a cup of tea and can spare the time now, while she couldn't before.

I don’t get the responses that say they would of moved. OP double checked an wasn’t in a charging bay so the woman was being a CF. IKEA car parks can be a nightmare.
I definitely have days with my one year old where I would not take off his coat again and put him back into car seat to move my car for someone to make their lives a bit easier.

Can't speak for every car, but most will lock the cable to the car when the doors are locked so randomers can't just pull the cable out.

What I think was the case was that OP was parked next to a fast charger, which have heavy duty cables attached to them rather than the slower chargers which require your own cable. Fast chargers usually have 2 or 3 cable types so maybe one car was using one of the cables and the woman wanted to use another - which wouldn't have actually worked unless the car plugged in had finished charging.

She must not know about Jeffrey Dahmer if she thinks I'm evil!

Weird comment.

The irony of all this is that a whole lot of strangers are kindly taking the time to offer the Op support by telling her she doesn’t have to make the time to be kind to strangers. 😍

-you mentioned your DH. Coudlnt he have held the child and trike while you moved? Bit confused why you mentioned having to pack everything away
-while the other person was plugged in, maybe she wasn't charging? She could have parked up and plugged in and found it not working - or working slower than expected
-wanting to move to a non-EV spot is odd though. Maybe her socket is in an odd place, but then someone else might come along, park in the EV bay and find she's nicked the socket. So she seems very unreasonable especially as no attempt to explain reasonably other than 'move'

-regardless you didn't need to move, you weren't parked in an EV bay, and she can piss off

Can any drivers of electric cars answer me this question because though I don't drive, if I did and it was an electric car it would really annoy me.

My area is mostly residents' parking. There are quite a lot of on-street charging points with each one serving two cars. But the bays next to them aren't reserved for charging only, so anyone with a permit can park in them.

The result is that cars that don't need charging are parked in the bays for as long as the driver likes so the charging point is useless. I see this all the time when out and about but because I don't drive it doesn't affect me.

But if my electric car needed charging it would drive me insane to see another car pointlessly blocking the space. If I saw someone who clearly wasn't going to charge their car about to use the space I would politely ask them to let me have it instead. If they said no I wouldn't argue. I'd say: "Righty-O!" and mutter "bitch!" or "bastard" under my breath as I drove off.

Public charging points are a really good idea but this system seems stupid. Have I made a mistake? If not, I might write to the council about it.

.

I don't think I've had enough coffee this morning.

Why did the woman want OP's space when it didn't have a charging point?

I obviously have no experience in charging electric cars.

@limitedperiodonly I think you've answered my question. I think.

@limitedperiodonly presumably the people paying for residents permits want to have somewhere to park their cars. Those without electric cars are just as entitled to park on the road as those with, having an electric car doesn’t give you priority parking.

im finding it difficult to see why she wanted your space when there were no charging facilities With it OP!

And we're still having posters not reading the thread and asking why ops DH didn't help 😑

im finding it difficult to see why she wanted your space when there were no charging facilities With it OP!

Yes, can somebody please explain.

Left stuff out on the verge?! To then drive around looking for a space? Wot? 😂

(also misread DS as DH earlier, oops)

This helps context - sounds like the EV spot was taken by the Van so perhaps she thought she could park next to it and stretch the cable? I don't know if the chargers would do two at once - did she have a Nissan? They have a special connector so in theory you can plug two in at once but not many places let you charge both at once

My view - you were both feeling frazzled for different reasons. Your particular needs clashed. You both vented. Look after yourself, take a breath and move on to spending energy where you will appreciate it xx

I love this. It's so true

I don’t think you were unreasonable. She gave you no clear reason why she wanted your space when she appeared to be in one more suitable. She could see you were dealing with a young child. She’s effectively said ‘I’d like to park there so can you move please?” No-one would move in those circs. She’s the one who was unreasonable not OP

Thank you! That explains it perfectly.

So, ultimately, even if she did get OP to move, she still may not have been able to charge her car anyway?!

Thank you x

Their needs didn't clash. OP got the space first, that's generally how car parks work. She had found a convenient spot and had no need to drive around trying to find another space.

The other woman's lack of planning had nothing to do with OP. What would she have done if she got to IKEA and all the charging spaces were full? She can't go around swearing at everyone to move for her.

@DesertIslandCondiment on further reading I think it's that the charging spaces in the IKEA car park are time limited but she wanted to charge her car from the OP's adjacent time unlimited space to give more time for buying tea lights and Swedish meatballs. But I could be wrong because like you I don't have an electric car.

@BungleandGeorge I think you're right but it still doesn't solve the problem of parking which historically my local council have been keen to address for residents and non-residents alike.

I know about residents' parking because I used to have a car and a residents' permit which allowed me to park anywhere in the zone. I preferred to park in my road, not right outside my house but within reasonable two-bags-of-big-shopping distance. But often I'd have to park in the next street or sometimes so far away I'd write down the location of my car because I'd forget.

It was because some residents were abusing the system by charging people to say they lived at their address. Non-resident parking is very expensive around here. The council cracked down on that by demanding more stringent proof of residency and surprise visits and parking became much easier. About a third of the cars disappeared overnight. A few years later I got rid of my car because public transport is so good I can't for the life of me understand why so many of my neighbours still own cars and pay for the privilege.

The council have always reserved bays - one is for a disabled neighbour and it's numbered so only for his car. Others are for meters and doctors' spaces. So I don't understand why they don't reserve these ones for people who are charging their cars and only for the time it takes to do it.

As I am typing this I am asking myself: "Limited, you haven't had a car for nearly 20 years. Why is this bothering you?" But it does.

@MrKlaw absolutely not just you! 😁 I'm just grumpy at all the '#bekind/but she really wanted it/youre so selfish/ give it to her posts!

@limitedperiodonly Thank you for explaining.

For some crazy reason I want to go to Ikea now.

I agree with PP that the woman had not planned very well so was really stressed but this is not the OP's problem who just wanted a nice day. I don't think it is fair that OP should be made to be stressed out too.

OP - which IKEA (not identifying)? Would be curious to see their charger setup

Also, getting an 18 month in and out of their car seat is not always that easy.