AIBU to have not given up my parking spot?

[KHR1606]

Sorry for the long post.....

I parked my car in the IKEA car park this morning. The bays next to me were for electric vehicles. I got out my car & went in the back to get my 18 month old DS out his car seat & to put his coat on. We then went to the boot to get his trike out. DS is stood next to me as I'm unfolding & securing the trike.

A woman then approaches me politely asking for my spot so she can charge her car. I look at the ground to see if I've parked in the electric bay. I see that I haven't & say "I can park here" she says, "I can too!" I politely say no because that'd mean me undoing the trike & putting it away then taking my son's coat off & putting him back in his seat then driving around for another spot. Just the thought of it wore me out! She offered to help but again I politely said I'm not willing to do it because it's just too much hassle.

The woman persisted & persisted & persisted, I'm not exaggerating. She kept saying I have an appointment & I need to charge my car. Again I said no. I said if I was without DS I would have given you my spot. She wouldn't stop asking so I got really fed up & shouted loudly, "Oh for f**k sake!" It's only then that she walked away to her car which was 2 bays away....... charging!!!!!

I didn't even realise her car was on charge because I was too busy getting DS in the trike. As I was strapping him in I heard her say "bitch", "evil", the sound of spitting but not actually spitting. All this time I was looking at DS's face talking & smiling with him. It's only when I was ready to walk off that I asked, "did you say something!?" She sarcastically smiled & said no!

She then went on again about it wouldn't have taken me long to move my car. I again repeated myself that I was parked in a suitable bay & I wasn't going to inconvenience myself & DS for her. I told her that being out with a child is sometimes difficult. She said I have a child too. I replied "Then you know! Stop being entitled!" All of this was being shouted. We had people looking at us.

I walked off and said have a lovely day!! It's only when I walked off & called my sister to vent that I realised her car was charging. Why the f**k did she want my spot then? Why ask a mother & toddler to move?
I'm glad I didn't move, especially after calling me a bitch and evil. She must not know about Jeffrey Dahmer if she thinks I'm evil!

I saw an argument in car park over a disabled space. One woman screamed to another
“I’m more disabled than you!” Followed by “you don’t even know what my disability is!” Then “and you don’t know what my disability is!”

I walked away as I wasn’t involved

FWIW, I would not have moved either. You weren't preventing her from charging her car by parking in the wrong bay, so it's her fault if she can't be better organized. Next time she might think about charging up the night before.

Was there another space nearby? If so YWBU not to move in the first place before you knew she was already charging her car. The rest of the story is just batshit really.

@Lalliella why should the op move to it and not Charging McCharge-Car?

YANBU. I have a baby and an EV and I very definitely would not ask someone to bundle up a toddler in the hellscape that is the IKEA car park and find a new spot because I hadn’t managed to sort out my charging properly.

IKEA is a weird place anyway to bank on being definitely able to charge your car.

I'd probably have moved but once you said no she shouldn't have persisted and the calling you evil is just weird. Mind you so is the Jeffrey Dahmer reference. It's all so OTT.

The amount of posters that don't read all of the OPs posts is unbelievable. It's so easy to do, just press See All in the bottom right of the OP's opening post. She wasn't parked in a charging point so there was no need for her to move.

It would have been different if the CF had said "I'm sorry to ask this but is there anyway I could have your parking spot because XYZ" and then the OP could have made a decision based on that. She could still have said no if she wanted to though.

The OP wasn't parked in a charging point bay so if the CF wanted to charge her car faster, does that mean she would have parked in a Non Charging Bay and dragged a charger over from a Charging Bay, thereby denying someone else that parks in the correct bay?

I am sorry I have twins and if I wasn’t in a hurry I would have moved to help someone out. Honestly taking off a child’s coat and sticking them in car seat no big deal she could have watched the trike for you (wondering were you planning on taking a trike into ikea if yes than you are being unreasonable!! Could knock fragile people over).

You sound like a drama queen.

The other lady didnt paint herself in the best light by not explaining herself properly, but you are being VU if you were hogging a charging space. If the tables were turned and she was parked in mother and child space with no kids, you'd have wanted her to move.

The OP wasn't in a charging space!!!
READ!!!!

Fucking hell!
OP wasn't in a charging space

OP WASN'T IN A CHARGING SPOT AND THE OTHER WOMAN WAS ALREADY CHARGING HER CAR!! gahh!!
She just didn't want to look for a space!!

Read the thread established long ago that the OP wasnt in an EV space.

Sorry, I misread! Clearly my new glasses aren't working for me... Backing away from the wrath of aibu...

Apologies.
I cant get my head rou d why someone wpuld want a space for charging if you couldnt charge though.
Ikea charging spaces are usually all in a line with no break for regular parking.

OP posted a photo of the ‘trike’ -basically a pushchair with pedals that the child can’t reach yet. And still the debate persists.

Oh bog off with “be kind”.

She sounds nuts. I wouldn’t have moved even if I didn’t have a young child with me

THIS ⬆

I don't know how these charging bays work, but surely you have to be in an appropriate bay to char? Or can you stretch your "plug" from an adjacent non-charging bay?

If all the charging bays were full (and her own car was in one of them) how could she possibly charge her car anyway, even from an adjacent bay?

That is all bye-the-bye, though - @dementedpixie has said all that needs to be said. OP didn't have to move - she wasn't parked inappropriately, and the car was also being charged so what was the point?

I would add, though, that anyone who behaves so unpleasantly as to snipe and make spitting noises at a mother in front of her child is a very unpleasant person.

Is it better to 'be selfish' than 'be kind' then?

To describe it more accurately. "Be a doormat".

Exactly why I don’t have an electric car. Who can put up with hoping for a charger when you need it?

Refusing to be bullied is not "selfishness".

Someone not wanting to help with the only reason being because they had a toddler would have left me in disbelief to be honest!

I wouldn’t have helped for no other reason than I couldn’t be arsed. We aren’t in any way morally or actually obliged to put ourselves out for random strangers. If having her car charged up to get to an appointment was that important she should plan better.

The only part where you were being unreasonable was when you kept discussing and saying no to her. Just reply kindly ‘I’m very sorry but I’m in a hurry and can’t help you’, apologetic smile and walk away (don’t forget to take a quick photo or note of her car registration number though just in case). Don’t keep defending your decision of saying no to someone that you don’t owe anything.