Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think school are cheeky fuckers?

264 replies

sandpDy · 03/12/2022 21:07

DS started school in September. Reception.

September - McMillan coffee morning. Donate £2 and wear something green

October - wear blue and donated £1 to sands, a still birth and neonatal death charity Confused Halloween party - bring in cakes, a bottle of soft drink and something else of your choosing. Halloween coming up - £1 and you can wear your costume to school

November - children in need day. Wear something yellow and donated £2. Childrens fun day, bring in £5 to join in activities Shock

December - Non uniform £1 donation. 15th December Christmas jumper day. Bring in £2.

In addition to this, they've asked for donations in his class for jumpers and socks, and spare clothes for spares. Also asking for a 'small contribution'
so they can buy some for the class

AIBU to think this is pretty wild?!

OP posts:
AlarmClockMeetWindow · 03/12/2022 23:24

I'd happily pay £100 per year if they'd stop all the requests for cakes, sweet pots, costumes, fairs, random donations, manning stalls etc etc etc

AlarmClockMeetWindow · 03/12/2022 23:25

And it must be more cost effective too, to ask parents to simply transfer cash, than to ask them to bring cakes (I had to deliveroo one from Waitrose the other day as I'd forgotten it was required the next morning) to then sell on to other parents. What is the point?

fifteenohfour · 03/12/2022 23:31

Added up that's £19, I spend more on a takeaway every Friday. I wouldn't be arsed about £19 towards charities.

SpottyBalloons · 03/12/2022 23:35

I know it's not the point of this post but fuck me, how are so many people incapable of basic arithmetic?! It's £14, not £12, not £19.

TroysMammy · 03/12/2022 23:44

I'm shit at maths but I counted it was £14 that the OP mentioned.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 03/12/2022 23:47

Do you all not realise that in primary schools these events help towards making school a fun experience for the kids? You will always get some who don't enjoy dressing up, but most do, and there is no expectation to do it if you don't want to. After Year 3, my boys never wanted to dress up for World Book Day, thought it was silly and that you can celebrate books without dressing up. Which is true. They never felt the odd one out becaues there were lots of others who didn't dress up too. But lots of children like dressing up so.....

Mine always liked the cake sales or easter raffles etc. And we all quite enjoyed the school summer fair, even DH, as there was plenty of cheap beer. 😉

Backtoblack1 · 03/12/2022 23:48

Schools are in sure straits; they h e no money. They can only ask for a voluntary contribution. If you can’t afford it then don’t pay it.

Backtoblack1 · 03/12/2022 23:48

*dire straits

CrystalCoco · 03/12/2022 23:52

If you have multiple children @ school / on low income then yes "pretty wild" if not, then no it's maybe more of an inconvenience if you're busy / working to organise all the extras for colours of outfits, cakes, etc. - and it depends how much notice the school is giving you.

CrystalCoco · 03/12/2022 23:53

TroysMammy · 03/12/2022 23:44

I'm shit at maths but I counted it was £14 that the OP mentioned.

Me too lol 🤔😅

KelvingrovesBest · 03/12/2022 23:53

I do smile when I read that education is free. Not for the people who work, we pay for our ‘free education’ via taxes. Yes it cost nothing to those who can’t or don’t work. Who pays, yes the tax payers. It costs us a fortune. Just like the NHS who pays, yes those who pay taxes.

shinyshoes5566 · 03/12/2022 23:57

WeeWillyWinkie9 · 03/12/2022 22:08

Maybe ask what your child's teacher has contributed to enable your child to be able to complete the curriculum at school and that might open your eyes. It'll be way more than £12 that is for sure but there will be no thanks for them contributing from their own wage to your child's education.

This absolutely. The amount of work from staff that goes into organising these events is nothing short of incredible. Teachers and TAs often working in the evenings and over weekends to prepare and buying a lot of their own props and resources. I bet many parents would complain if their children were missing out on these national fundraising events because the staff couldn't be bothered to organise them. The children have fun and money is raised for charity. Surely there's nothing to moan about there!

stardust40 · 04/12/2022 00:15

We've taken the decision as a school not to charge for all the extras. Swimming is paid for by school, children in need etc is bring a donation if you want to, Christmas jumper day is actually now Christmas non-uniform day, no charge to watch plays or for things kids make!!

Allsnotwell · 04/12/2022 00:28

The school I work at has all these ridiculous ‘fun’ days it disrupts their learning constantly.
They are over excited by these things when younger and bored to tears with them when they get older.

The mess and work it creates is endless.

I think schools should sponsor one charity per year and have their own fund raisers the rest of the time. One per term.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 04/12/2022 00:29

Thing is, though, @AlarmClockMeetWindow , schools have also got Ofsted on their back who want to know what wider enrichment stuff they’ve got going on. A lot of these National Whatever Days are part of PHSE. “Oh yes, Miss Inspector, our children are very aware of their feelings and the importance of good mental health. We do X, Y and Z and we also hold a fundraising day for MIND. We actually hold regular fundraising days through the year so that children can learn how about thr importance of charitable giving and doing things for others. We talk about being unique and about how there are different types of families and the children are invited to come in wearing odd socks on one day to show that it’s ok to be different. Blah blah blah.”

if you ask me, the kids won’t connect a lot of the dressing up things with the stuff they’ve been learning about so it’s all a bit daft really. But schools have to be seen to be doing something for these things.

when mine were very little I don’t think Facebook was as big so there was little visible competitive parenting with photos of kids in very imaginative outfits on World Book Day. People seem to go a bit over the top now, so no wonder they feel everything is too much.

kathmacc · 04/12/2022 00:30

All dressing up days and themed uniform days should be organised by school - a cardboard tabard painted in art lessons with matching paper hat is more than sufficient -and all kids are equal - job done!

PriamFarrl · 04/12/2022 00:41

I’m a primary school teacher. I never notice who has brought in a donation, and don’t care if they do or don’t.

As for the spare clothes, at the beginning of every school year I used to buy a couple of packets of underwear from Primark and write the school name on them in big letters on the front. There were never any left by the end of the year.

Ponderingwindow · 04/12/2022 00:41

My dd’s secondary school hits us harder for external donations than the primary school. They combine it with students volunteering service hours so it is at least more meaningful than parents simply providing money.

Nevermind31 · 04/12/2022 00:47

Never mind the actual money - we never have coins at home so usually donate at least a fiver. Per child. Per event.
i need to go to the bank and get coins…

Soproudoflionesses · 04/12/2022 00:51

BoschBoschBosch · 03/12/2022 21:28

The donations are totally voluntary at my kids school, thank goodness.

Same here

AlarmClockMeetWindow · 04/12/2022 00:52

PriamFarrl · 04/12/2022 00:41

I’m a primary school teacher. I never notice who has brought in a donation, and don’t care if they do or don’t.

As for the spare clothes, at the beginning of every school year I used to buy a couple of packets of underwear from Primark and write the school name on them in big letters on the front. There were never any left by the end of the year.

Baffling!!

AlarmClockMeetWindow · 04/12/2022 00:56

CurlyhairedAssassin · 04/12/2022 00:29

Thing is, though, @AlarmClockMeetWindow , schools have also got Ofsted on their back who want to know what wider enrichment stuff they’ve got going on. A lot of these National Whatever Days are part of PHSE. “Oh yes, Miss Inspector, our children are very aware of their feelings and the importance of good mental health. We do X, Y and Z and we also hold a fundraising day for MIND. We actually hold regular fundraising days through the year so that children can learn how about thr importance of charitable giving and doing things for others. We talk about being unique and about how there are different types of families and the children are invited to come in wearing odd socks on one day to show that it’s ok to be different. Blah blah blah.”

if you ask me, the kids won’t connect a lot of the dressing up things with the stuff they’ve been learning about so it’s all a bit daft really. But schools have to be seen to be doing something for these things.

when mine were very little I don’t think Facebook was as big so there was little visible competitive parenting with photos of kids in very imaginative outfits on World Book Day. People seem to go a bit over the top now, so no wonder they feel everything is too much.

Yeah I get all that. It's just such a disfunctional system. Then schools say they don't have time to teach things that would be really useful. It all seems such a mess for all involved really. I knew things were bad but I mean, nurseries are also hugely underfunded and have very high staff to child ratios. But the difference between the organisation and communication at nursery and at school has been mind blowing, with school not coming out of that comparison well at all. And I'm talking about a school that has just been rated outstanding. 🤷🏻‍♀️

SleepingStandingUp · 04/12/2022 01:00

September - McMillan coffee morning. Donate £2 and wear something green so for charity.

October - wear blue and donated £1 to sands so for charity

Halloween party - bring in cakes, a bottle of soft drink and something else of your choosing for your child's to eat.

Halloween coming up - £1 and you can wear your costume to school one for school coffers

November - children in need day. Wear something yellow and donated £2 for charity

Childrens fun day, bring in £5 to join in activities mainly for school coffers. That one is quite steep. What happened if they didn't bring it in?

December - Non uniform £1 donation. for schoom

15th December Christmas jumper day. Bring in £2 for charity

donations in his class for jumpers and socks, and spare clothes for spares presumably stuff you'd throw out or donate anywau5

Also asking for a 'small contribution'
so they can buy some for the class so what?

We have out of uniform every half term. 50 p some times, donation to Summer or Xmas fare other times. Children In Need Halloween (so cost for clothes for many parents), Ttrockstars (so cost for clothes for some parents), £15 trip to the seaside, £7 trip to panto, sure there will be Jumper Day (so cost plus jumper for some parents). Xmas party will need a plate of food. Christmas Fare which cost 30p to get in then a fortune on stuff.

Sounds like you got off light

Soproudoflionesses · 04/12/2022 01:11

3luckystars · 03/12/2022 22:46

I have to pay €90 a year for ‘photocopying’

for 3 children

Paper is so expensive now as is colour printing

HintofVintagePink · 04/12/2022 01:29

Sounds pretty standard. We have a pot of £1 and 50p coins in the kitchen because our school gives about 5 days notice and I rarely have cash.

It’s a way for the school to make extra money or to support charity. I don’t have a problem with it.

Our PTA has funded a new minibus and a pantomime trip for the whole school this year. It’s also a drop in the ocean compared to how much teachers pay out of their own money to cover costs.