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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think school are cheeky fuckers?

264 replies

sandpDy · 03/12/2022 21:07

DS started school in September. Reception.

September - McMillan coffee morning. Donate £2 and wear something green

October - wear blue and donated £1 to sands, a still birth and neonatal death charity Confused Halloween party - bring in cakes, a bottle of soft drink and something else of your choosing. Halloween coming up - £1 and you can wear your costume to school

November - children in need day. Wear something yellow and donated £2. Childrens fun day, bring in £5 to join in activities Shock

December - Non uniform £1 donation. 15th December Christmas jumper day. Bring in £2.

In addition to this, they've asked for donations in his class for jumpers and socks, and spare clothes for spares. Also asking for a 'small contribution'
so they can buy some for the class

AIBU to think this is pretty wild?!

OP posts:
fifteenohfour · 04/12/2022 20:06

@SpottyBalloons hey smart arse, one of the costs was "something of your choosing for food" so I added a £5 for that choice, cringe for you Blush

Nillynally · 04/12/2022 20:59

It is standard but it's a pisstake. Feedback to the school, there's a cost of living crisis ffs

Walkerbean16 · 04/12/2022 21:06

I'm on the PTA of one of my children's schools, it's an infants school so only 3 school years and the head shared the projected fuel costs have gone from 8kPA to 65kPA. And staff costs are rising too so everything the PTA can do to help will be going to basic things now such as books rather than treats.

I do think they could cut back on things like children in need etc.

NowThatsWhatICall22 · 04/12/2022 23:24

This thread cannot end on someone suggesting they cut back on Children In Need? 🙄 Please educate yourself on how charities such as children in need support groups in your community, where the government fails them. Of all the things to cut back, children supporting other children and their families is the last thing that should be considered.

NumberTheory · 05/12/2022 01:46

NowThatsWhatICall22 · 04/12/2022 23:24

This thread cannot end on someone suggesting they cut back on Children In Need? 🙄 Please educate yourself on how charities such as children in need support groups in your community, where the government fails them. Of all the things to cut back, children supporting other children and their families is the last thing that should be considered.

Way to miss the entire point.

Children in Need should not be reliant on the small donations of families that feel coerced into giving by their kids schools.

MelchiorsMistress · 05/12/2022 07:07

NowThatsWhatICall22 · 04/12/2022 23:24

This thread cannot end on someone suggesting they cut back on Children In Need? 🙄 Please educate yourself on how charities such as children in need support groups in your community, where the government fails them. Of all the things to cut back, children supporting other children and their families is the last thing that should be considered.

I disagree.

Children in need is a huge charity backed by the BBC and countless celebrities. It has a presence in supermarkets all over the country. It does not need to target it’s fundraising at children who are just going to school, and who may well be in need themselves.

I think these big charities that fundraise in schools should be ashamed of themselves and I hope persisting children and their parents for money through school is made illegal.

I don’t need educating about how much good CIN does btw. I’ve worked in more than one establishment supported by them. I still don’t think that targeting school children for fundraising is acceptable and nor is the amount of wasteful plastic crap that they produce.

funtycucker · 05/12/2022 07:17

DingDongItsChristmas · 04/12/2022 16:43

I find some of the responses to this thread woefully ignorant.

It's all very well for some to say, "It's only X amount" however a report into the cost of the school day highlights that 1 in 5 children in Scotland, and 1 in 3 children in Glasgow are recognised as living in poverty. This report was published BEFORE the current cost of living crisis so no doubt the current situation is worse.

The report recommends, "Fundraising which doesn’t always ask families to contribute (e.g. supermarket bag-packing) and not asking children for money". A lot of schools are clearly not taking this on board.

Anyone interested in reading it can do so here: cpag.org.uk/sites/default/files/CPAG-Scot-Cost-Of-School-Day-Summary(Oct15)_0.pdf

And when do you expect them to do supermarket bag packing? If it was done during school hours parents would moan and if it was done at weekend then staff would have to give up yet more of their unpaid time to supervise and rely on the children wanting to give up their weekends to take part

NowThatsWhatICall22 · 05/12/2022 07:36

Way to miss the entire point.

Children in Need should not be reliant on the small donations of families that feel coerced into giving by their kids schools.

Nobody is coerced into giving, ffs. No charity relies on this method, but when families directly benefit in the end and the children fundraise for other children by donating 10p, £1, X amount to wear something fun at school, is it really worth complaining about?

MelchiorsMistress · 05/12/2022 07:58

Personally I think it is worth complaining about.

The whole basis of the thread is a parent saying that their school is asking for too much money, and when parents are in that position it is immoral that huge charities are targeting those parents.

You say no one is coerced into it but that’s just not true, although granted we are only talking small amounts of money. Of course you’re going to feel coerced into it if you know your child will miss out on the fun if you don’t pay. Or if you don’t know yet that your child will still be able to participate even if they don’t donate because schools don’t advertise that, or if you decide not to donate by you know your child will be sad or embarrassed not to have a coin to hand in.

Families directly benefit from many many charities, how many do you think it would be acceptable to promote to school children in school time?

DingDongItsChristmas · 05/12/2022 08:30

funtycucker · 05/12/2022 07:17

And when do you expect them to do supermarket bag packing? If it was done during school hours parents would moan and if it was done at weekend then staff would have to give up yet more of their unpaid time to supervise and rely on the children wanting to give up their weekends to take part

Show quote history

The supermarket packing suggestion was included in the report was merely an example of an event that would not involve giving children money. The report is not advocating that every school follows that example.

Focusing on that example means you are missing the entire point of the report which is that many children are living in poverty. The report spoke to some of these children who said they felt embarrassed that they were unable to contribute to fundraising events even when they were not specifically asked/expected to contribute.

It therefore recommends schools limit the number of times it asks for money which, judging by my son's school and the responses on this thread, is simply not happening.

funtycucker · 05/12/2022 08:36

DingDongItsChristmas · 05/12/2022 08:30

The supermarket packing suggestion was included in the report was merely an example of an event that would not involve giving children money. The report is not advocating that every school follows that example.

Focusing on that example means you are missing the entire point of the report which is that many children are living in poverty. The report spoke to some of these children who said they felt embarrassed that they were unable to contribute to fundraising events even when they were not specifically asked/expected to contribute.

It therefore recommends schools limit the number of times it asks for money which, judging by my son's school and the responses on this thread, is simply not happening.

Show quote history

Do you actually understand why schools ask for money? A lot of these fundraising events are needed to keep the schools running as their budgets are shot to pieces. Many schools are already relying on teaching staff buying essential resources out of their own pockets so when they hold a fundraising event to contribute towards things like building repairs, do you expect the staff to pay for that too? Nobody is under any obligation to contribute anything but without some parental donations some things in schools will no longer be financially viable, and I don't just mean fun events.

DingDongItsChristmas · 05/12/2022 08:45

funtycucker · 05/12/2022 08:36

Do you actually understand why schools ask for money? A lot of these fundraising events are needed to keep the schools running as their budgets are shot to pieces. Many schools are already relying on teaching staff buying essential resources out of their own pockets so when they hold a fundraising event to contribute towards things like building repairs, do you expect the staff to pay for that too? Nobody is under any obligation to contribute anything but without some parental donations some things in schools will no longer be financially viable, and I don't just mean fun events.

Show quote history

LOL! Yes I do actually - probably more than most given that I've worked in them for 18 years. That report was based on research and issued to schools as guidance from Education Scotland - the Scottish Government executive agency charged with supporting quality and improvement in Scottish education and thereby securing the delivery of better learning experiences and outcomes for Scottish pupils.

If you think continually asking parents for financial contributions is acceptable - so be it. I however disagree.

NumberTheory · 05/12/2022 14:48

NowThatsWhatICall22 · 05/12/2022 07:36

Way to miss the entire point.

Children in Need should not be reliant on the small donations of families that feel coerced into giving by their kids schools.

Nobody is coerced into giving, ffs. No charity relies on this method, but when families directly benefit in the end and the children fundraise for other children by donating 10p, £1, X amount to wear something fun at school, is it really worth complaining about?

If the school wasn’t coercing them they could simply send out a letter saying “This year we are support Children in Need, please make donation anonymously through [this app]. We will have a wear something yellow day on x day to celebrate.”

But they don’t. Because they’d raise virtually nothing as most people don’t actually want to donate. This type of fundraising is all about peer pressure.

Sartre · 05/12/2022 14:52

It’s kind of standard and you’re lucky to have got away with so little tbh. My DC’s schools do fundraiser runs every Christmas so I have to sponsor all of them else they can’t run, the primary school also charges for nativity tickets! Couldn’t believe it when they first started there but it’s just the norm now.

SpottyBalloons · 06/12/2022 16:51

fifteenohfour · 04/12/2022 20:06

@SpottyBalloons hey smart arse, one of the costs was "something of your choosing for food" so I added a £5 for that choice, cringe for you Blush

Of course, silly me, I didn't realise 'added up that's £19' included a figure you'd plucked from thin air! 😊

NumberTheory · 06/12/2022 21:53

SpottyBalloons · 06/12/2022 16:51

Of course, silly me, I didn't realise 'added up that's £19' included a figure you'd plucked from thin air! 😊

Show quote history

No, silly you for being an arse about people’s arithmetic and insisting there was a single set figure when the OP had listed donations without a set cost attached.

SpottyBalloons · 06/12/2022 23:01

@NumberTheory So all those posters who said £14 magically reached the same figure because they'd accounted for non-costed donations? Bullshit, they just can't count.

Jinjinjin · 06/12/2022 23:11

Don't send any money in then, I never do, they're not gona question a reception kid for money, I do think it's cheeky to ask for money for other charities, xmas jumper day(my 3 have never had to pay on xmas jumper day), money aswell as spare clothes another day...also a fiver for activities on another day?!

ElephantsNeverNap · 06/12/2022 23:57

You sound a bit dense if you think the PTA are taking the photographers and getting some massive profit

🙄🙄🙄 Of course they don't take the photographs. But ours are quite open about the fact that there's a markup and the school get a cut of the costs, it is the photographer's free + £X that the school cream off as a profit from it.

AlarmClockMeetWindow · 07/12/2022 00:03

Said someone who has clearly never been involved in a PTA.

Oh, I must be such a terrible human then.

I have been a lone parent to two children since their father walked out when they were babies. I'm disabled and I hold down a very demanding full time job and care for two children with SEN, with all that entails trying to fight for their needs with SENCOs, social services etc on top of everything else. They need specialist childcare outside school hours which costs me over £2k per month, my mortgage is even more than that and I fund all of this with no help from the state or their father and deal with the fact they barely sleep so neither do I, I'm lucky if I get 2-3 hours per night: So forgive me if I've not volunteered myself for the PTA. 🙄🙄🙄

NumberTheory · 07/12/2022 00:23

SpottyBalloons · 06/12/2022 23:01

@NumberTheory So all those posters who said £14 magically reached the same figure because they'd accounted for non-costed donations? Bullshit, they just can't count.

No. I would assume that the posters who reached the £14 figure just went through the post adding up the numbers and didn’t read it well enough to click there was an uncosted element too. Which is understandable, but not a full reflection of OP’s post and not any better at math than the poster who estimated a figure for that uncosted element.

OodieBoogie · 07/12/2022 06:59

AlarmClockMeetWindow · 07/12/2022 00:03

Said someone who has clearly never been involved in a PTA.

Oh, I must be such a terrible human then.

I have been a lone parent to two children since their father walked out when they were babies. I'm disabled and I hold down a very demanding full time job and care for two children with SEN, with all that entails trying to fight for their needs with SENCOs, social services etc on top of everything else. They need specialist childcare outside school hours which costs me over £2k per month, my mortgage is even more than that and I fund all of this with no help from the state or their father and deal with the fact they barely sleep so neither do I, I'm lucky if I get 2-3 hours per night: So forgive me if I've not volunteered myself for the PTA. 🙄🙄🙄

Who said you were a terrible person? I said you've clearly never been involved in a PTA, which you've just confirmed.

You don't have to justify not volunteerng to me. We're all busy. We all have different priorities.

Maybe don't be so nasty and spiteful about the people who do volunteer. They do it so you don't have to.

Tirrrrred · 08/12/2022 09:06

Christmas Jumper Day tomorrow. The letter said "£1 donation. Please send money to school in a named envelope."

They must have a list of whoever donates.

Also dd went to town with school yesterday. The letter asked for a "A voluntary contribution of £1.60 to cover the bus. If we don't receive enough donations the trip will be cancelled" so is it voluntary??

NumberTheory · 08/12/2022 16:06

Also dd went to town with school yesterday. The letter asked for a "A voluntary contribution of £1.60 to cover the bus. If we don't receive enough donations the trip will be cancelled" so is it voluntary??

That is the suggested way to solicit donations for something that isn’t a compulsory part of the curriculum. They are making it clear that it’s a class trip/activity they’d like to do but it can only go ahead if there are enough parents willing to donate towards it. That’s voluntary and doesn’t proved a two tier experience. They can’t do it with something like math class or swimming, though, because those are part of the compulsory parts of the curriculum and the school have to find a way to provide those whether parents are willing to donate or not.

Favouritefruits · 08/12/2022 16:38

Oh I know what you mean it’s cost me over £30 this month not including festive jumpers and what not, I have two so £15 is sort of ok £30+ is taking the mick in my opinion. Elf run £5 per child, Elf shop £5 per child £1 non uniform festive Friday, £2 each child contribution to Christmas party and £2 for Christmas games at said Christmas party. Yes you can choose for your child not to take part bu5 I couldn’t do that I’d feel to awful.