To ask how to improve my appearance

[RIPhouseplants]

I am a healthy 37 year old but unfortunately I usually resemble one of those after meth addiction pictures you see on American police programmes. I really would like to improve my appearance a bit when I was younger I looked ok, although I’ve never worn a lot of makeup or paid much attention to my appearance, but 3 kids, a lot of stress and severe depression have really taken their toll and not only do I look awful I have no idea how to fix it either. I’ll list the main issues below and if anyone has any tips or expertise that could share then I would appreciate it a lot!

Hair
I have frizzy hair that is hard to manage and as I work outdoors it gets windswept and sticks up all over the place, no matter how much I brush ir straighten it, my hair immediately reverts to a dragged through a bush style the second I step outside. I also have a really big forehead, my hair is thinning a little at the front which has really accentuated this particular feature, I have tried getting a fringe cut to hide it but again, it just gets extreme messy.

Skin
My skin is really dry and dull looking, however I am prone to spots around my chin. I try and moisturise and have tried a few different moisturisers but they all give me spots so I have to either choose between dry skin or spotty skin. I should add that I have a very tight budget and can’t afford to buy really expensive creams.

Eyebrows
what am I supposed to do with them? The whole eyebrow thing has completely passed me by, I just have my own normal eyebrows, sometimes I pluck the random hairs that grow out of place but that’s it. Is it necessary to have some kind of eyebrow treatment done? What would look natural but still look like I tried?

Nails
My nails grow super fast but because I work outside they tend to get ingrained with dirt so I just cut (or bite) them as short as possible. Is it worth getting fake nails, everyone seems to have them but are they hard wearing? What sort of nails should I ask for if I went somewhere to get them done?

clothes
I really do only wear sports leggings and fleeces. Sometimes I want to buy normal clothes but I have no idea what to wear or how to make an outfit look nice. Some ideas for casual or smart casual outfits for a short size 12 person would be appreciated.

Thanks for reading, any help would be very much appreciated!

Hair - try the curly girl method. You can find lots of versions on YouTube, even seemingly straight ish hair comes out curly with it.

skin- I use plain coconut oil (the one used for cooking), on my face, and nothing else. It’s pretty cheap. Cut out virtually all sugary things, and greasy things, eat lots of vegetables and salads. Do yoga and alternate nostril breathing.

clothes: perhaps concentrate on getting a nice top to wear with jeans?

Hi OP I am replying as it doesn’t seem like many others have yet. I can offer no fashion advice as I am much older than you. However with regards to your hair. Have you tried wearing a silk lined beanie hat while working outdoors ? Also silk pillowcases can help with my frizzy hair. I got mine cheap off Amazon. I am thinking of getting the beanie for gardening. Can you afford a one off mini facial at a salon perhaps for Christmas? The therapist would be able to give you advice on skincare and shape and tint your eyebrows. It lasts for ages getting your brows professionally done. I have short nails and sometimes get a gel manicure but only for a special occasion where I want some colour. Otherwise I just file and put on clear polish to protect them. I wouldn’t bother with this regularly.

If you want to try the curly girl method, Cantu shampoo, conditioner and twist and lock gel are quite reasonable in price, and work well.

You’re lucky to work outside!

First thought is do you have everything medical covered? Bloods checked? Correct level of vitamins, iron, etc? Thyroid ok? Hormones - imbalance could be causing the spots on your chin. And are you regularly getting enough sleep - depression and sleeplessness are a vicious cycle.

If you’re sure you’re on top of all that (!) the next thing is your diet. As pp said - as far as possible cut out processed food and sugar. And if you can increase your consumption of fruit, vegetables, nuts, seeds, olive oil and good protein you’ll soon notice a difference.

If you’re involved in manual labour you’d be mad to get false nails. Keep an emery board about your person and a nailbrush by the sink. Long nails aren’t compulsory. Save manicures for any big event.

Nor is it necessary to have your eyebrows ‘done’. Though I’d go easy on plucking them yourself. (If you have a friend with eyebrows you’ve admired ask them who does them.)

As for clothes - it depends where you are in the world, and what your budget might stretch to.

Cerave face wash is great for spotty skin. I use the one for 'rough, bumpy' skin and it has cleared my middle-aged spots by about 90%

I wouldn't bother with fake nails. I'd cut them short and if you want paint them a bright colour.
Essie is a great nail varnish brand, if you use the top coat too it lasts about 5/6 days.

Yes, I definitely wouldn't bother with fake nails - no way - cheap and nasty and come off, leaving haggard nails underneath - no thanks. I can grow lovely nails but am a musician so I have to cut them short. I second the idea for bright nail varnish IF they won't get chipped in a day. If not, nothing.

My best trip for you is - exfoliate in the shower and coconut oil afterwards. OR the salt scrub by that brand they sell in Boots, in a glass jar, the Sanctuary.

I get a normal shower scrubby and put the shower gel on, then scrub my whole body to get the dead skin cells off - then out and dry and coconut oil.

The Sanctuary stuff is if you can't even be arsed with that - it has oil and salt in it so not only will you be soft and smooth of skin, you will also smell lovely.

I am 48 and do not look it. I swear it is exfoliating and oiling my skin.

With clothes, try to at least colour coordinate somehow? Bright fleeces, matching long socks in the boots?

Hair

Wash hair twice with a non silicone shampoo and once with conditioner on the lengths - leave in the conditioner for a few minutes and once a week use a conditioner treatment on your hair for 10 mins

Squeeze excess water out of hair and apply anti frizz spray and then a tiny amount of hair oil on the ends. Then spray a heat defence on it all

Then use a wide tooth comb to brush your hair. Never ever blow dry your hair when wet either let it naturally dry or blow dry it with a rounded brush or a hot brush when your hair is 80% dry and or try the curly girl method

Use a low hold hairspray once styled to avoiding crunchiness but help keep it looking tidy

Is a fringe ISNT working try a side fringe or curtain bangs have a look on google

For sleeping. Wrap your hair in a silk hair wrap and or sleep on silk pillowcases

Take hair supplements will also help your nails

Highlights could give you a lift too

Skin

Liz Earle skincare is pricey but brilliant if not use unperfumed products or something like aveeno it is a great moisturised and low cost.

Don't use foundation use a tinted moisturiser or fake tan moisturiser like Johnson's be careful though you don't want to be patchy

Exfoliate your skin once a week

Take skin supplements

Eat healthy

Do not wash your face in hot water this brings in spots

Drink water

Eyebrows
Have a look at micro blading but if you want a less extreme way have a look at eyebrow tinting or the very popular 'HD brows'

Nails
Fake nails can be hear wearing especially if you get very short one to work outside.

Gel nails last a long time and stop nails breaking which are manageable and low cost

Take nail supplements as said above

Clear nail varnish can help stop breaking and if you use a dark colour on your nails you won't notice any dirt

Use a nail scrubber get into that routine

clothes
Sports leggings and fleeece are very 'in' right now

Try putting a padded gillet over the top that is the in style at the moment

All one colour looks (same colour leggings and fleece) work well or neutral colours go together and look stylish. Greys, beige, white and brown are very in and of course black

Crisp clean footwear really make you look stylish

Natural eyebrows and nails are absolutely fine.

Drink loads of water, every day. Avoid sugar.

buy a bottle of avocado oil and a bottle of glycerin. Mix a few drops in the palm of your hand, smooth it on your hair, and add a few drops into your cheap moisturiser.

spots could be your body doesn’t like something you’re eating, or it’s hormones.

your clothes probably fine, make sure you choose colours you love, not just pragmatic.

Eyebrows are easy enough, just take yourself to either a local salon and book yourself in to have them threaded or waxed. Or go to a walk in place. I pay £7 to have mine done and just go to my local walk in when they need doing.

Is your hair actually curly?

I mean curly, rather than frizzy!

Drink more water, eat more fresh foods. Your face will look better in a month or so just from that.

I do think well done, natural but defined brows frame the eyes better and improve our faces.

Skin - if diet doesn’t help enough, can you afford £22 a month for a prescription tailored to your skin (Dermatica)? It saves trying all sorts of things that don’t work.

I have a gel nails set that I use. They last a week or two. They keep my nails from splitting and catching on things too, so they actually grow.

For clothes think about where you actually go. I say this as I got myself some more “grown up” clothes at one point and haven’t had anywhere to wear them! (My life is very casual and homely, I do my work on the sofa, I socialise at casual places and volunteer with kids so need to be able to move around and get dirty..)

I’m following your thread OP, as I feel very much the same.

I am planning to have a good shopping spree in the January sales, after researching what would suit me.

I like threading to keep my eyebrows from joining in the middle and in a semblance of shape. I get them done every couple of weeks and try to pluck the odd stragglers in between.

I’d keep your nails short, invest in a nail brush and add a clear gloss or pale pink if you want to.

I am trying to get a capsule wardrobe together. So far am sticking to dark or black jeans with plain jumpers in black/grey/cream/red so everything is very simple and can mix and match. Flat black knee high boots are worn most days in winter.

My skin is much better when I can stop myself touching my face without realising, I have a tendency to sit with my chin on my hand when I’m thinking then end up with spots.

Hair - have it trimmed to tidy it up, then grow it a bit longer. Wash and condition it, use a suitable hair treatment on it, once a month. Start looking at styles you think might suit you, lessen the effect of thinning hair. Save up and ask for recommendations for a hairdresser, talk to them. Can you wear a hat at work

Skin - olay sensitive, is reasonably priced, nice and light on your skin. It doesn't have spf in it, but it doesn't bring me out in spots, like some others have.

Eyebrows - go and have them threaded and then keep on top of them, taking out stray ones with tweezers and occasionally trimming them.

Nails - a clear nail varnish adds a bit of shine, stick your fingers into a bar of soap, this stops dirt from getting under them as much and makes it easier to wash any out. Nothing wrong with tidy short nails.
Use hand cream before bed, this doesn't just moisturise your skin, it helps your cuticles and nails. Acrylics/gel nails need upkeep.

Clothes - jeans a nice top, with a jacket and accessories.
When you are out shopping, the store dummies are normally dressed in outfits with shoes that match and accessories, you might see an outfit that way. Programmes like this morning have a website that has outfits shown on their programme or magazines have style makeovers outfits are put together with shoes and bags etc.

The best thing I've found for my spotty skin is Nip + Fab salicylic acid, I use the pads and the serum a few times a week and my skin is vastly improved.

@RIPhouseplants You sound like a wholesome outdoorsy type. Leggings, frizzy hair, fleeces go with the turf 😀

I hate to read you being down on your looks. You’re getting great advice from folks here - which I’d be clueless about. Rather than advising from a cosmetic perspective, have a look to see if your down in any aspect of health. Go to the doc for a bloods MOT. Make sure you’ve your iron, hormone and vit levels sorted. The dull/spotty skin and hair thinning can come from that.
My only beauty tip as a fellow chin spot-prone person: Origins Super Spot Remover. Magic stuff.

Yes to everything suggested so far. Only suggestion from me is wear SPF50 sunscreen everyday especially as you’re working outdoors.

If you can afford to them would recommend going to a salon and asking for someone who is good with curly hair, to cut and advise you about how to manage and care for it. Particularly with your job.

Eyebrows- again invest in going to a salon for a brow tint and wax. Even if it's only every couple of months the difference to shape and colour is great and in between treatment could use a brow pencil to maintain colour. It makes such a difference to face definition .

Clothes- maybe start with swapping your sports leggings to a stretchy jegging type so it's not such a big change. Maybe swap your sports jumpers for simple knitted jumpers for this time of year with the Jeggings. Find a staple pair of boots and warm coat for this time of year.

Good luck OP, it's great to look after yourself. X

I’d recommend L’Oreal wonder water for hair. It’s amazing for my frizzy hair and tames it so well!

Id also advise getting your brows done once a month. Well plucked brows can really change a face.

For clothes, you can start simple by a nice jumper with your black leggings and sneakers. Then when you feel more comfortable you can swap leggings for jeans. White T, blue jeans and white sneakers are always a safe bet!

For face, I use Cerave. Just wash my face when under the shower and moisture after. Also remember to wash your face at night. It’s crazy how much impurities accumulate during the day!

Get a good mascara and an eyeliner - and a good face moisturiser - gives and instant lift - takes years off!

As a fellow frizzy haired woman, I heartily endorse the curly girl method as advocated by several others on this thread, plus the use of coconut oil for everything - face hands, arms, legs, hair. It's so cheap if you buy the cooking version - it's all the same stuff, 100% coconut oil.

Leave your nails short and trimmed, and maybe get your eyebrows threaded every so often.

You're slim so jeans and chunky jumpers with knee high boots, or a knee length dress with thick tights, ankle boots and a lovely cardigan, if you're going out, and add some vibrant colours to your wardrobe.

My trick with frizzy hair is to rub a tiny (pea-sized) amount of rich conditioner onto my hands and then run them over my hair when it's dry. really just skim the surface. It gives hair a bit of gloss and texture. It makes frizzy hair obedient but without looking lank or greasy.

Brows: go to Superdrug or to a beautician and have them waxed or threaded. They'll know what the current shape is. That's under a tenner at the chemists and shouldn't be much more at a salon.

Skin: get a hot cloth cleanser (Superdrug do a cheap one) and gently exfoliate with it. Dry with a clean towel or facecloth. Facial spots are often from drying faces with handtowels. Use a gentle moisturiser like Nivea Q10. Shop around for this. It can cost £12 but is usually half price somewhere. Boots recently had it for a fiver. Dab the spotty areas with tcp or a rapid action spot zapping gel. Ime they work really well and can get rid of a red spot in an hour. Clean and Clear Rapid Action is great.

I think a layer of very light tinted moisturiser works very well. Add a rich lipstick close to your natural colour but a shade deeper. If you are fair, mascara or dyed lashes. If you are dark, you could wear some eyeliner. (Apply it as cack-handedly as you like then wipe off the excess with make up remover and cotton buds.)

Can't help with nails. Mine are rubbish.

Clothes: go for a glam version of what you already wear. So if you live in jeans and long sleeved tops, buy some well-fitting dark denim or velvet jeans you save for going out. Add a long sleeved velvet, satin or chiffon top. Wear with boots with a low but elegant heel or with sparkly or metallic trainers or flat boots

Thank so much for all these amazing tips, so many things I wouldn’t never have thought of. Re my hair it is naturally curly I guess and I’ve tried letting it go curly but it just looks messier! I do get it cut and coloured semi regularly because I’m really grey! My hairdresser is also a friend and is really lovely but she never seems able to advise me on the style I should get. I would like someone to just tell me what to do with it rather than expecting me to know. It’s awkward going to someone else to get my hair done now though as I don’t want to offend my friend.

I’m going to think about my diet and how much that could be affecting my appearance though as that’s not something I had considered and it is something that has suffered over the last 18 months because of all the stress I’ve been under. I will also maybe speak to my dr about blood tests as someone suggested as it’s quite possible that I’m anaemic,

Hair: try straightners. If you get a decent pair it doesn't take long for a whole head and can make a lot of difference on it looking tidy

Nails: ask for acrylics if you want to try false nails. They last me 2/3 weeks before needing to get infills. A lovely red and treat yourself:)

Clothes: casual try some skinny jeans, loose jumper, some nice pump style shoes. Or dress it up a bit with a blazer and slim fitting top and jewellery.

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