To ask how to improve my appearance

[RIPhouseplants]

I am a healthy 37 year old but unfortunately I usually resemble one of those after meth addiction pictures you see on American police programmes. I really would like to improve my appearance a bit when I was younger I looked ok, although I’ve never worn a lot of makeup or paid much attention to my appearance, but 3 kids, a lot of stress and severe depression have really taken their toll and not only do I look awful I have no idea how to fix it either. I’ll list the main issues below and if anyone has any tips or expertise that could share then I would appreciate it a lot!

Hair
I have frizzy hair that is hard to manage and as I work outdoors it gets windswept and sticks up all over the place, no matter how much I brush ir straighten it, my hair immediately reverts to a dragged through a bush style the second I step outside. I also have a really big forehead, my hair is thinning a little at the front which has really accentuated this particular feature, I have tried getting a fringe cut to hide it but again, it just gets extreme messy.

Skin
My skin is really dry and dull looking, however I am prone to spots around my chin. I try and moisturise and have tried a few different moisturisers but they all give me spots so I have to either choose between dry skin or spotty skin. I should add that I have a very tight budget and can’t afford to buy really expensive creams.

Eyebrows
what am I supposed to do with them? The whole eyebrow thing has completely passed me by, I just have my own normal eyebrows, sometimes I pluck the random hairs that grow out of place but that’s it. Is it necessary to have some kind of eyebrow treatment done? What would look natural but still look like I tried?

Nails
My nails grow super fast but because I work outside they tend to get ingrained with dirt so I just cut (or bite) them as short as possible. Is it worth getting fake nails, everyone seems to have them but are they hard wearing? What sort of nails should I ask for if I went somewhere to get them done?

clothes
I really do only wear sports leggings and fleeces. Sometimes I want to buy normal clothes but I have no idea what to wear or how to make an outfit look nice. Some ideas for casual or smart casual outfits for a short size 12 person would be appreciated.

Thanks for reading, any help would be very much appreciated!

I’m sorry you’ve been having a hard time. Stress is very draining - what we all need at such times is someone to tell us to take care of ourselves, and to make sure we do it.

Can’t believe the real problem with your hair is your reluctance to hurt the feelings of your hairdresser! I guess you’ve worked out what you need to do there …

Your comment about having no idea what to wear suggests you don’t spend as much time as some of us do () browsing shops online. Regardless of age or budget, hours spent window shopping Zara or & Other Stories in the palm of your hand is time well spent. It really helps to sharpen your observation regarding proportions, colour, how to combine textures. And reassures you (if needed) that getting dressed is supposed to be fun. Armed with that knowledge you can then shop wherever you like, with confidence.

Re. clothes, you could start with plain knits and slim jeans or joggers which will not feel very different from the leggings & fleeces you currently wear.

Hush is good for things like this:

www.hush-uk.com/soft-knitted-hoodie-blushed-oatmeal/003102-3636.html

I don't know if you smoke or drink alcohol? I'd say not smoking or drinking is the best thing you can do for your skin

Just on the hair - I have extremely frizzy and curly hair and I use a round blow dry brush (I have an expensive one but I know there are some great affordable ones and even some good deals on Facebook marketplace) to blow dry it and then straighten over the top. I do this once a week and then don’t really touch it unless I’m going out.
I find this a lot less maintenance than keeping it curly and I also feel my curly hair ends up looking messy. Curly hair often lasts really well with a blow dry.
My hair also looks a lot better if I curl it with the straighteners after the blow dry. .

Also with getting your nails done, gel polish with a builder gel as a base would strengthen your nails and keeping them short with a neutral light or dark colour will look chic.

@RIPhouseplants

i recommend a keratin smoothing treatment - your curls will be smoother but the frizz will be tamed, it will dry more quickly and just make life all round easier.

Hi OP. I'm sure you look absolutely lovely, but my tips:

• I have frizzy hair that is quite thick and coarse and once a week I'll condition for a half an hour if not more. If you have a bit of time, a good conditioner or hair mask on for a good while will really help styling.
• brows- this is dodgy advice from someone with dyspraxia, but I shave in between my brows to prevent a uni brow, around the brows with a small razor and use an eye shadow and small brush to fill them in.
• nails- I don't do falsies but I do paint. Fellow nail biter here and painting does deter me. I'm currently taking a strong

folic acid supplement and it does wonders for my nails. The FA is for other reasons but this is a nice side effect.

• skin - I use freederm for my blemishes, and I normally use Bodyshop drops of youth, but when I can't afford that I use coconut oil as my moisturiser and will always exfoliate a few times a week. Atm I'm using bodyshop coffee scrub but there are cheaper options. Moisturisation is really important. Even a nivea moisturiser will do the job.
• clothes - just find what you like. A nice midi with ankle boots is a solid winter choice with minimal faffing around.

sorry not read the whole thread yet so apologies if I’m repeating
eyebrows - wax and tint
nails - personally I would just keep short and neat with a clear gloss top coat.
Low maintenance options but looks groomed

Hair: as an easy frizz fix I use either argan oil or afterparty from TIGI (the oil is a lighter thing, afterparty for when I’m feeling really gross). Go on YouTube for curly hair routines. The user hanzcurls is great and likeable.

skin: drink a ton of water. Use sunscreen when sunny.

Nails: Just keep them clean and you’re golden

fashion: go for nicely cut items (ie shaped like woman’s body and not shaped like potato sack). If you’ve got a celebrity or tv character you like with a cool look save pics on your phone and recreate looks with cheaper items.

How are your teeth? Whitening strips from cest work well, the American kind not the European ones. I think about £30 on amazon.

I love the aveeno oat gel moisturiser. I think it's about £10 in boots for a little pot. It's very gentle and doesn't cause me to break out.

Cerave lotion is also an option for moistursier. Very cheap I think it's around £10 for a 236ml container.

The ordinary lactic acid. About £7 and help polish skin and give it a bit if a glow. It's very gentle unlike other acids so it's very safe.

The ordinary do lots of good products. A cheap retinol, argureline which helps dynamic wrinkles, matrixyl is also good for fine lines. They can seem a bit overwhelming at first as they do so many but all are good choices just require a bit of research to find which products suit your needs.

Sunscreen every day. Every single day, even in winter. Sun damage is the worst culprit for causing aging and dark spots and if you work outdoors you will be more at risk.

Face masks. I use a cheap one from wilko I think it's garnier, it contains hydraluronic acid which is extremely hydrating. I do 2 a week to keep my skin soft. These are nice because after 20 minutes you take off the mask then wash it off, so it shouldn't break you out as you don't leave it on your skin clogging pores.

Don't bother with false nails. The kind you use at home fall off no matter how well you glue them on. Salon nails are expensive and really high maintenance.
I think nail polish looks nice even on short nails, especially if you want to hide the dirt from outdoor work. Red is a classic but I like soft pinks as well. Easy enough to do yourself, I like the Barry m ones, I use 'siren' as the red and 'cupcake' which is a natural pink. £2/3 each colour. £3 wetset topcoat (will make it last ages). £1 nail varnish remover.

If you think stress plays a part Yoga can be helpful. I'm always banging on about it as it has done a lot for me personally but it's free and easy so worth a try for most people. Initial cost of a yoga mat if you don't have one, I follow youtube videos. I do advanced yoga but if you want the mental side just a simple 10 minute routine can help every evening.

With make up I suggest going to a counter and being properly matched. Soft neutral colours will look great, depending on your complexion a soft cream blush may be helpful. It usually perks me up if I look a bit grey or washed out.
With eyeliner and mascara you will likely be looking at swapping to a brown if you haven't already. Most people can't pull off black as they get older, it's too harsh and dramatic. I like the boots extreme volume mascara in black/brown. You can disregard this if you have naturally very dark hair where black will still work fine!

With make up I tend to think you really do get what you pay for. A small amount of expensive make up that looks great is worth more than heaps of cheap drugstore products that aren't really suitable for anybody over 25. I have made the mistake of buying cheap and buying twice (or 7 or 8 times) with make up over and over again. Now I tend to stick to brands I know and like.

Just because i love this product. Dior now do a range of lipsticks called lipglow. They are more like a tinted balm and they are amazing. Not too harsh, easy to apply and come in some beautiful colours. Expensive though at around £25.

I hope some of that is useful.

I put coconut oil on my hair once a week. You can get it at Aldi. I just slap it on and put a towel over it and wash as normal after a couple of hours or leave it on overnight.

If you soak your fingernails in lemon juice (also Aldi!) they will clean right up.

I am a healthy 37 year old but unfortunately I usually resemble one of those after meth addiction pictures you see on American police programmes.

😂😂 share your pain, op.

Moroccan oil helps my hair stop being frizzy and the big 100ml bottle lasts me ages.

natural eyebrows are fine! All I do is get them waxed every so often.

I agree with others and wouldn’t bother with nails - natural nails are fine

I agree with many of the others - your hair is probably curly. Try the curly girl method. Don't brush it when it's dry. It will just make it frizzy.

Drink water. 8 glasses per day.

Maybe go to a beauty place for your eyebrows. They'll wax them - maybe tint.

Cleanse and moisturise every day. You'll see a big difference.

The spots are probably hormonal and drinking water will help.

Thanks so much for all this, I feel quite heartened by everyone taking the time to give me advice. I’m sitting here writing a list of everything I need to Google.

I don’t smoke at all or drink much alcohol. I definitely need to drink more water. My teeth are a whole different matter, although they are quite white naturally they are very crooked which is getting worse as I get older so that certainly doesn’t help!

DO NOT. I repeat DO NOT get HD brows or micro blading as suggested above. You will cry, guaranteed.

it sounds like you’re fairly relaxed in your make up routine. The last thing you want is dark dramatic brows.

Hair, try a serum/morroccan oil type product to give it a little definition when dry. And a good cut, don't be afraid of going short.
Skin, keep with simple moisturizer like Nivea, better spots than wrinkles.

Diet is huge.

Eat lots of veg, water and good fat. Full fat diary etc.

Only wear colours that you suit next to your face.

more probably hopeless suggestions:
Nails I have no idea, vitamins?
Wear a little makeup, say concealer, mascara and a light tinted lipstick like a Clinique chubby stick.
Get a scarf or snood in a colour you like so even if outside in your work gear it will cheer you up.
Eyebrows they are probably fine, if I'm trying hard I put a bit of brown pencil through and a touch of hair wax.

Try using salicylic acid for the chin spots. It's probably hormonal, I get them too. Try The Ordinary, that's usually quite reasonably priced. You could put moisturiser on the dry patches and the salicylic on the spotty areas if you want.

Some

Ps I agree with BB cream (Aldi one good when they have it in) and the Superdrug hot cloth cleanser. It feels such a treat. If you need to remove eye makeup have a little bottle of baby oil to hand.

I have hair that tends to be messy and now just embrace the texture, with a bit of styling wax/cream so it looks intentional. Hair dressers who only do the straightening blow dry don't really help.

Superdrug eyebrow wax shapers. They're little DIY wax strips, cheap and dead easy to use, not overly dramatic but enough to make you go "yeah, I look neater!"

Hi,

Hair: you say curly, you should embrace your curls and take a look at curly girl method (cgm) essentially you don't use shampoo as it's too harsh and drying but use conditioner and air dry your hair.. combing curls just ruins them. This wouldn't be an overnight fix but something you work on for some time.

Makeup: you don't need a tonne, I find some mascara and a gloss or similar tone to your natural lipstick goes a long way for daily wear.

Eyebrows: I would say get them threaded, inexpensive and I pluck mine sometimes to save a few quid then get threaded for a re-shape

Nails: I would get gel colour on your natural nails. I think full on fake nails will be a step too far, especially with working outdoors.

Clothes: depends what look you like. Get some good fitted jeans, skinny stretchy ones works well for size 12. Make sure they are flattering your shape. Get some nice top, can wear turtle neck, nice Woolley jumpers, blouses with earrings, a bracelet. Oversized Blazer looks good for evening wear. Knee high flat boots for day or ankle ones with a heel. Check out ASOS and Zara instagram for ideas or search Insta for ideas.

For your skin, it's probably not a moisturiser you need to sort but focus on exfoliation and brightening. Moisturisers are all roughly the same just with different levels of richness. Something with hyaluronic acid in it might help with absorbing moisture though.

This is a pretty good deal to try out a new routine, www.boots.com/origins-let-it-glow-star-gift-set-10318305 or you could buy seperate things which will probably cost the same but be bigger sizes that last a bit longer.

I'd probably get a Cleanser, vitamin c based serum, AHA exfoliator and moisturiser with SPF. Use everything apart from the exfoliator twice a day. Use the exfoiator 2-3 times a week.

For Cleanser I'm a big fan of this soy cleanser from Fresh skincare it's non drying and light but works www.lookfantastic.com/fresh-soy-face-cleanser-various-sizes/13463049.html?affil=thgppc&kwds=39700017997406161&thg_ppc_campaign=71700000020666642&adtype=&product_id=&gclid=CjwKCAiAhKycBhAQEiwAgf19evlo8V3x16EI6ocf3GuIrkfMnfJlf-iLRVIjRYGqjOANK6kI0m6KlBoCcKkQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

For exfoliation avoid abrasive grainy things and get an AHA, this will clear away dull skin. Have a look at the info from Paula's choice here www.paulaschoice.co.uk/all-about-exfoliants?aw_account=1510415071&aw_campaign=1031039985&aw_adgroup=71309990807&aw_creative=344943869223&aw_dev=m&aw_target=dsa-653297225643&aw_type=search&aw_keyword=&aw_matchtype=&aw_pos=&utm_content=search_nonbrand&gclid=CjwKCAiAhKycBhAQEiwAgf19ek1l09h0NoSQCbtb-QGoP46ZIkQzHp7tS9pIh6Ca5xci2UJewU-vQRoCTrsQAvD_BwE you could try

The ordinary bha www.boots.com/the-ordinary-aha-30-bha-2-peeling-solution-10267772 which is about 7 quid

Or their lactic acid www.boots.com/the-ordinary-lactic-acid-ha-30ml-10286188

Or similar from revolution skincare www.superdrug.com/skin/face-skin-care/cleansers/face-toner/revolution-skincare-pha-and-lactic-acid-gentle-toner/p/823282

Aldi also often have an AHA toner

Vitamin C is really brightening, there are loads available at different prices www.boots.com/beauty/skincare/facial-skincare/serum-and-treatments/vitamin-c-serum

The for a moisturiser something simple like this www.boots.com/the-ordinary-natural-moisturizing-factors-and-ha-100ml-10279249 your skin might be dehydrated rather than dry so hyaluronic acid helps with absorbing moisturiser and might help.

For hair, the advice you've had on curly girl is probably best, avoid straighteners unless for specific events, they're fighting against how your hair wants to be naturally