To ask how to improve my appearance

[RIPhouseplants]

I am a healthy 37 year old but unfortunately I usually resemble one of those after meth addiction pictures you see on American police programmes. I really would like to improve my appearance a bit when I was younger I looked ok, although I’ve never worn a lot of makeup or paid much attention to my appearance, but 3 kids, a lot of stress and severe depression have really taken their toll and not only do I look awful I have no idea how to fix it either. I’ll list the main issues below and if anyone has any tips or expertise that could share then I would appreciate it a lot!

Hair
I have frizzy hair that is hard to manage and as I work outdoors it gets windswept and sticks up all over the place, no matter how much I brush ir straighten it, my hair immediately reverts to a dragged through a bush style the second I step outside. I also have a really big forehead, my hair is thinning a little at the front which has really accentuated this particular feature, I have tried getting a fringe cut to hide it but again, it just gets extreme messy.

Skin
My skin is really dry and dull looking, however I am prone to spots around my chin. I try and moisturise and have tried a few different moisturisers but they all give me spots so I have to either choose between dry skin or spotty skin. I should add that I have a very tight budget and can’t afford to buy really expensive creams.

Eyebrows
what am I supposed to do with them? The whole eyebrow thing has completely passed me by, I just have my own normal eyebrows, sometimes I pluck the random hairs that grow out of place but that’s it. Is it necessary to have some kind of eyebrow treatment done? What would look natural but still look like I tried?

Nails
My nails grow super fast but because I work outside they tend to get ingrained with dirt so I just cut (or bite) them as short as possible. Is it worth getting fake nails, everyone seems to have them but are they hard wearing? What sort of nails should I ask for if I went somewhere to get them done?

clothes
I really do only wear sports leggings and fleeces. Sometimes I want to buy normal clothes but I have no idea what to wear or how to make an outfit look nice. Some ideas for casual or smart casual outfits for a short size 12 person would be appreciated.

Thanks for reading, any help would be very much appreciated!

Oh forgot to say, avoid fake nails, they don't sound compatible with your job, just keep them tidy or get a gel on natural nails manicure every 4 to 6 weeks if you want colour. All this stuff adds up though, I'd probably just keep them filed and natural.

John Frieda Frizz Ease Serum - rub a few small drops between your hands then just run your fingers through towel dried wet hair. Once you've dried it properly, you could add a bit more serum if you need it. I find this makes a big difference to my hair. Moroccan Oil is good but I reckon John Frieda is just as good. If you're too skint for that then hand cream can also be a good substitute.

Superdrug Vitamin E Hot Cloth Cleanser - it's as good as the expensive Liz Earl stuff in my opinion.

Garnier BB Cream or IT Cosmetics CC Cream if you prefer a thicker consistency. You only need a tiny bit and can apply with your fingers like moisturiser.

Nude/pink lipstick - Maybelline is usually a good shout for this, also try Rimmel.

Pale pink nail polish will make your fingers look a bit nicer without you having to pay to get your nails done. Also, it's less noticeable when the polish chips.

Try a different hairdresser/hair colour if you can. Perhaps a local college where students do it for cheap prices.

Oh and for clothes, try Shein. Very cheap prices because it's supposed to be fast fashion but I've had items of clothing from Shein that have lasted a few years and still going strong. Try jeans and jumpers or jumper dresses, tights and ankle boots.

Hi op, I bet you're being a little harder on yourself than you need to be (aren't we all sometimes) but if you think it would give you a wee boost of confidence then I'm all for promoting a bit of self care. I'd try to go about it in a gentle way though, I'd start by increasing the nutritional value of the food you eat or add a wee multivitamin to your routine and do something active so you can feel healthy and strong in your body first and foremost.

I think ask your hairdresser friend to teach you how to style your hair curly and which products to invest in because they're not all equal. Or you could splash out and go for a smoothing treatment at another hairdresser if your friend doesn't offer that service.

I'd maybe go with a friend you trust for a personal shopping experience and just have a really fun day, eat nice food get some drinks with lunch and enjoy being silly and trying on lots of different outfits and looks until you find what you feel good in.

In terms of skin if you work outdoors and don't wear makeup then sunscreen is probably your best friend. Wear it every day as sun exposure is the main cause of ageing. I have really temperamental skin so for me dermalogica products are worth the price tag but lots of places offer free skin consultations. They'll try to sell you products but you can do the consultation, not buy anything and find cheaper products online with the same ingredients as what they recommend. I rarely wear makeup but if I want to feel good I'll use a bit of concealer and cream blush. I get my brows waxed and tinted every few months and my lashes lifted so i don't need to wear much mascara or brow pencil unless I'm going out and want to wear more.

Nails i personally think gels would be a waste of money because hands on work might chip them. Instead I'd invest in a really lovely hand cream and some nice polishes you can do yourself. I have also found since taking a multivitamin for a few months my nails are really strong whereas they weren't before.

Most of all I'd say a mental change where you try to practice speaking kindly to yourself and focusing on the beautiful and good in yourself would serve you well in the long run, maybe even a little counselling to nurture your mental health along with your physical health would be a little self care.

HD brows are not dramatic or dark unless that's what you choose to have. HD brows are designed to look natural and can be any shade you want. People on Instagram decided to go dramatic and dark and then people followed and did the same that's why someone has suggested below to not get HD brows as they are dramatic and dark. I assure you this is not the case

You don’t say how much you want to spend - there are good solutions at every price point, and you need to find something that works for you.
you can give yourself mini facials at home - cleanse, use a chemical peel (brightening toner), a clay based mask for spots, another clean, a hydrating mask.
i actually find spending a bit more on the cleanser makes a big difference - I like Clarins. Use a smoothing base layer, and mascara, some tinted moisturiser for your lips - you’ll look instantly fresher without actually having done much.
the ordinary do nice serums at a very reasonable price.
for your body, you can make up your own scrub - caster sugar, baby oil, and a essential oil of your taste for a nice smell. Mix all together and scrub your body in the shower - lovely smell, and you will feel all smooth.
eyebrows… it costs about £7 to have them waxed or threaded in a local salon- makes a huge difference.
hair… no idea what to do with curly hair - but conditioning always helps. Maybe find a nice salon and tell your friend you were given a voucher or something…
clothes… jeans, nice boots and a jumper/ blouse? You sort of need to find your shop… I find that the shops I liked when I was younger (New Look, Topshop etc) don’t work for me any more… go to your local John Lewis and have a browse to see what works for you now (or even your local supermarket).
best of luck!

I'm a similar, practical, outdoorsy type, OP, with similar "fashion sense" - if you can call it fashion sense to have absolutely no interest in clothing beyond not frightening the livestock! I can honestly say I have never, ever "admired" someone's eyebrows in my life😂 Eyebrows are just there, and they're not to be meddled with, in my opinion.

The thing which saves hands and nails in winter are gloves - good, waterproof ones like Sealskinz - at all times. Heavy duty hand cream and keeping the nails short and trimmed. I know a few people who manage to keep false nails on, but I definitely couldn't and they creep me out, so I don't. I do paint them in the worst of the winter to hide the scuzz though!

Equestrian chic works quite well outdoors - waterproof leggings / riding tight styles, boots of some description (I just wear wellies but I'm not bothered about the aesthetic - plenty of more equi-fashionable alternatives in the "river boot" style), a fitted half zip microfleece type affair with a gilet over the top would blend you in with the horsey youtubers. They all seem to wear single colour outfits which look like pyjamas to me. Or you can do the stylish country shooting / tweed chic if that appeals. Ryedale are good for reasonably priced country style clothing and equestrian looks.

For a more generic, "going out in public" look, I usually just wear skinny jeans and a crew neck jumper, because it's about as standardised a look as I can be bothered to achieve. If you're looking to make a statement, you'll want something more striking, and that's just a question of personal taste. Do you want to take up wearing skirts, pearls and twin sets, or maxi dresses, or would you rather find yourself a tie-dye t shirt and some jazzy dungarees? Other looks are probably available, if you're motivated enough to find them 😬

I second Cerave, it has completely cleared my spots. I use the foaming one
The Ordinary does some really reasonably priced skin products

Go to your GP and find out why your hair is thinning.

If there's no underlying g cause that can be treated, start taking biotin. It's good for skin, hair, and nails.

In general, try to get 8 hours of sleep nightly - if sleep is a problem, ask your doctor about this too.

Eat more veg. Cut way back on sugar and anything made with white flour.

Buy some perfume that you like and wear it every day.

You can get sets of The Ordinary for skincare.

www.boots.com/the-ordinary/the-ordinary-sets

You could get a sleep bonnet, that would help your hair I think. Amazon have loads. TKMax often have them but obviously that's hit and miss. And M&S have a silk one but it's £30.

If you have any silk or satin scarves you can use those.

Also, you can get silk or stain lined beanies for when you are working outside.

The single most important thing is to wear SPF 50 every day, all year around. On your neck and back of hands as well. There are lots of light and non greasy SPFs around now, you want one intended for your face as the general body ones are heavier.

Bioderma Photoderm is good or City block.

Exfoliation- thats key for dry skin. i wouldn’t recommend physical ones though, get a more gentle one. glycolic acid is great for exfoliation and brightening skin. Also make sure your skin is actually dry and not dehydrated.

vitamin C serum is a must if you have dull skin, and hyaluronic acid serum is great for dry/dehydrated skin, its best to apply to damp skin so it soaks up all the moisture into your skin. The ordinary one is great and very cheap.

also if you’re out alot due to your job the best thing you can do for your face is SPF! Its something that needs to be applied everyday, not just in the sun.

Hello,
A few suggestions:

Hair: the curly girl method products can get expensive, so try adapting parts of it to suit you. I would start by ensuring that when hair is wet, you add any curl cream (Boots’ own in a pink tub is really good- I tend to get that or any that are on offer!) don’t put it on the roots. You then add a little mousse (Coco Loco products from Boots are great) and dry with a diffuser on the end of the hair dryer (the one with the spikes).

Skin: I’d just continue to moisturise and maybe wear a very light powder foundation? MAC’s are really good- one does last a while and you may only need to buy a couple per year.

Clothes: have you thought about leggings and a tunic? A tunic may be a bit more flattering. If you’re outdoors, a dress may not work, but a tunic gives you the flexibility of looking a bit more feminine. There are sportier ones too. I tend to get mine in supermarkets.

Nails: you can keep them short. Just make sure they are filed. You can always paint them in a semi-nude colour or even get a pearlescent one. If they chip, it’s then not immediately obvious.

I hope the above helps. :)

Eye brows, neat and tidy by a professional will make an absolute huge difference.

On the ordinary website you can do a quick quiz for a skin care routine.
Some of you are still living in the 00s, there is a massive difference between gels or BIAB and what you are calling ‘false nails’. I have BIAB and have a horse, my nails never split or break or ping off

Three free ideas while you decide on purchases /treatments : more sleep, walk tall (catwalk style) and smile! Confidence in your looks, as in other things, can sometimes be fake it til you make it!

The thinning hair stood out, this can be a sign of hormonal imbalance. If not addressed it can progress and be permanent, I'm sorry. Please go to your GP and push for tests.

Interested in silk lined beanie- where do you get them from?

Skin - No alcohol, no smoking, no processed food. 5-10 a day. No soap just water.

No point of all the expensive creams /lotions if you don't do this. ( Unless you think the cosmetic companies deserve your charity as they don't make enough profit.)

You are working outside so everyday wear sun block and reactive glasses to protect eyes ( cf macular degeneration.)

@jeannie46

what is 5-10 a day please?

I have thick frizzy wavy hair and for past few years started getting it permanently straightened it has been the biggest game changer no more straightening. I have a moko straightening done so it's not pin straight and stuck to the head kinda straight but looks healthy and glossy like a blow dry. Hard to find places that do this though but has helped me so much.

Also tooth whitening and tooth bonding which gives the look of veneers. I had it done as had a discoloured front tooth. Good teeth really make a good difference.

Then the basics eat healthy and exercise and find clothes that flatter your shape and colouring.

Forgot to add the hair I get it done once a year to the root regrowth not the keratin blow-dry thing that lasts a few washes. Game changer though literally just wash and go in the morning. Really worth it if you tried everything and not happy with your hair. I tried the curly girl method but my hair isn't quite wavy or curly enough it's more kinks and frizz 😂

I would definitely get checked for an underactive thyroid. Frizzy hair, dry skin and thin eyebrows are all symptoms. Do you have low energy?