AIBU to think the 2nd of December is a bit late to announce no presents?

[crussont]

I'm all for the whole let's not get each other gifts this year/do a secret santa for the kids, but AIBU that the 2nd of December is a little late to announce it and really it needs to be said start of November? Looking at you SIL.

I haven’t even thought of Christmas gifts yet because we have a birthday in this house end of November, my brain is taken up with that.

Maybe she’s just calculated costs/wages/COL increases and realised she can’t do it all?

I've been your SIL.
My SIL said that we had to still do presents.
It was awful and we could not afford it.

Please take this gracefully. Otherwise you could ruin your relationship with her.
It will have cost her pride greatly to say this to you in the first place. Don't make her feel worse.

But also some people are busy so get organised earlier. I know I'm busy in December so have done all of my shopping and got it wrapped to make it easier for myself in the run up to Christmas.

Yes that's my feeling but maybe I'm being cynical

Well no we aren't going to force her to buy a present or give her the present but it's annoying. We deliberately bought in the sales

It’s not ideal but with COL everything is v unpredictable right now.

If you can keep it for birthday that’s a good idea, or if you think that will go to, then yes I think it will have to be a trip to return.

Too late imo.
Mil did this to us a couple years ago but in her text simply put "not sure what you think about gift buying for adults this year but I'm gonna give the kids money"
Wasn't clear to my DP that she meant nothing at all for adults, but was happy to take £40 off us and not say anything, currently nc with her as it was the straw that broke the camels back for him ( long term bitterness and nasty comments from her)

I think it's fine until we're a week into December, unless you have a relative who you know shops very early for Christmas.

We don't tend to discuss what we would like for Christmas with relatives until December.

I’ve not started my shopping yet, lots of people I know have finished. Wouldn’t bother me for someone to turn around and say not to do presents - I haven’t done anyone’s yet!
give them if you want; don’t if you don’t.
I have so many people to buy for I like to get it all done in one weekend, one fell swoop. One day at the real shops, one day of ordering stuff online. The longer I would stretch it out, the longer it would all take. I can’t be arsed!

They definitely should have said before Black Friday (25 Nov). That’s prime Christmas shopping time.

Wouldn’t bother me as I don’t give gifts in order to receive them in return anyway.

Not really fair kids to see their cousins get gifts from their parents but not to get anything from their uncle/aunt.

Unless they’re spending Christmas Day together, why would they even notice? I’m not sure mine would notice anyway to be honest. They have plenty to open.

Yes. I’d love to do no presents, but it’s too late for this year. So they’re all getting panic bought shite!

Definitely too late, I'd be miffed at this stage. I'm all for no gift giving though as a principle.

You'd need to tell my mum by Easter!

Not everyone has a big family, my DC only receive presents from us, my parents, and their two uncles. I still remember the presents I received from aunts as a child and I'm almost 50. So yes some kids would notice!

Whilst it's annoying and you know
For future reference not to bother. Can you not just enjoy gifting presents for the sheer joy of gifting rather than for something in return?

Maybe she is hard up this year and struggling and quite rightly doesn't want to do gifts, but if you have already purchased gifts with her and her family in mind and can afford it, then gift with no expectations placed on a returned gift.

I don’t have a big family either. My brother is dead, DH is an only child so my children just have their grandparents. Just can’t imagine them saying ‘how come we bought x a present but they didn’t get us one?’. They just wouldn’t notice.

I'm usually (metaphorically - I do most of it online) running round like a blue-arsed fly at this time of year, sorting out presents for everybody, but because of the CoL (I'm disabled and on PIP), we have been spreading out the cost and started buying in August. I just have a few vouchers to get for various DNs now, just waiting to find out where they would like to spend them!

I'd be pissed off at being told on 2nd Dec that people "aren't doing presents" this year - I agree it needs to be decided by the beginning of November at the latest (and even then, I'd have been a bit fed up this year cos I've had to be so organised due to general poorness!)

DC wouldn't say that as it would be rude to do so. They'd just wonder it to themselves I expect.

Because it makes the receiver feel like shit if they couldn't afford to reciprocate.

Exactly. Either they will feel bad they didnt get anything to give back or they knew that they might still get something and are being a bit cheeky.

I've only bought half of my presents. I just don't get much time, and there's still three weeks to go.

If I'd bought any for the non-gifter, then I'd just hand them over and say I'd already bought it, but fine to go no-gifts next year.

This is the kind of situation that doesn't have to get complicated, imo

I'm going to burn it (fancy candle)