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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the GP is wrong about miscarriage

61 replies

Digitalash · 02/12/2022 15:02

Me and DH are TTC, I suffered a missed MC in July and then this month my period was a few days late on as well as having a few minor symptoms such as everything spelling weird/different and being super tired.

I took a test yesterday and it was positive (but faint) and then last night i got horrible cramps and started bleeding. I know it's early so there isn't much anyone can do but I rang the GP explained what had happened, took another test, still positive, he said I needed to come and do a test there.

I did and the test at the GP's was negative so he said its just a late period and he doesn't know why I'm here (he was really insensitive in general) i said but they were positive at home though and I didn't think you could get false positive? And he said that the test he is looking at is negative so maybe I am mistaken(???)

I know it's very early on and very common but we have been try for a year and now after another miscarriage I'm just gutted and for him to dismiss made me think I am going crazy?

I have attached a picture of the test from this morning so people can tell me if I am.losing my mind. If I'm not though AIBU to complain to my surgery about him?

I'm worried now it won't go down on my records as a miscarriage and as me being hysterical instead and may delay help in the future etc. If I need it

To think the GP is wrong about miscarriage
OP posts:
RedTable · 02/12/2022 15:04

Very sorry this is happening. But I assume that most people who have a history of 3 early miscarriages would not have any record of it. I don’t for 2 of mine, only got to 6 weeks so no official test etc. But I’m sure if you went and said you had had 3 early miscarriages and the dates and durations you would still get referred on for investigation.

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/12/2022 15:06

I'm so sorry OP. It's awful that you are feeling you have to justify your MC so you can get help later. If it wasn't for that, I'd say just test later. But I get that you think help won't be forthcoming.

FWIW I see a line.

Pleasecreateausername13 · 02/12/2022 15:06

It’s extremely rare to get even one faint positive never mind two.

Id hang fire just now OP, there is a very strong chance you could be pregnant. Obviously don’t want to get your hopes up.

Pleasecreateausername13 · 02/12/2022 15:07

Sorry that was meant to say “false positive not faint positive” and if it makes you feel better that is clearer that a faint line.

Original poster
Digitalash · 02/12/2022 15:12

Thank you sorry I don't really know why I posted i think I'm just pissed off at the GP, I could live with him being unsympathetic and telling ne there is nothing they can do (tbh that's what I expected) it's more the fact he called me a liar that pissed me off.

@Pleasecreateausername13 thank you for your kind words but I really don't think so, my period are normally very light and this is very heavy and very uncomfortable/painful.

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 02/12/2022 15:14

He was insensitive.

My second miscarriage occurred at 5w and was over a BH weekend so I didn't see a GP. I did call the following week as i felt I needed to 'do something'. The amazing receptionist listened to my situation and advised to book a telephone consultation [a decade before Covid] so they GP could get this second loss on my medical record. Sadly I went on to have another loss but based on the second miscarriage being documented, we were referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic.

I have 3 beautiful DC now (although I've had 6 losses in total) but I'll never forget the wonderfully intuitive and kind receptionist.

Call back on Monday, explain you want this loss on record. Is there another GP you can see?

I am sorry this has happened and I hope you get your baby soon x

värskekapsas · 02/12/2022 15:14

I had exactly the same happened to me. Had a positive test, started bleeding few days later. Called 111, been sent to A&E, they've done a test and came up negative. They said must be miscarriage.. It was during covid so I was alone and it was so so horrible. I called all my friends, cried for a few days etc. Few days later I decided to do a test again as realized that the only thing was the test by which they decided it is a miscarriage. It was positive. I paid for a private scan and they confirmed I am still pregnant. I now have a 16 month old :) I hope it would be the same for you!

Tali5ker · 02/12/2022 15:16

How many days late it your period? And is it always bang on time normally?

user1469032438 · 02/12/2022 15:17

@Tali5ker 5 days and yes give or take a day.

Redbushteaforme · 02/12/2022 15:21

Very sorry to hear about your miscarriage and current situation, OP. Your GP sounds pretty unsympathetic which makes things worse.

I may be wrong but I doubt that you would be asked to provide evidence in terms of dates of miscarriages. Have a look online at the NICE guidelines for miscarriage and infertility and ask for a referral to a specialist when you feel that meet the NICE criteria for investigation. That's what we did.

I would also recommend joining the Fertility Friends online forum as you will find lots of information, advice and support there (including how to deal with unsympathetic GPs).

Pleasecreateausername13 · 02/12/2022 15:22

I also had a bad bleed when I was about 3-4 weeks pregnant. Obviously there was nothing they could do but I was still pregnant and my 19 month old is trying to do handstands in front of me.

It can happen.

Sailawaygirl · 02/12/2022 15:27

What test did your gp use? The nhs ones are less sensitive. I sadly had a mc and had to test 2 weeks after to check I was negative. On the stip test ( like you) I was still a faint positive but on the test the nhs gave me I was negative and the nurse explained they do use a less sensitive test. So I would wait a week and test again. You may not be out ?

mam0918 · 02/12/2022 15:51

It sounds like a possible chemical pregnancy, Im sorry for your loss.

Doctors dont really take chemical pregnancies seriously but if its been a year of trying ask to be refered for fertility testing.

SF14 · 02/12/2022 15:59

I’m so sorry you are going through this OP. I agree too that the NHS tests are less sensitive. Had a similar experience where the doctor said it was negative from their test but I had 5 positive tests at home to prove otherwise. Is there any chance of insisting of having your blood tested? I had to get mine tested every other day to rule out an ectopic pregnancy. Wish you all the best!

dampthursday · 02/12/2022 16:11

I’m really sorry for your losses.

When I had my booking in appointment I was asked if this was my first pregnancy. I said I’d had a chemical pregnancy the month before (had a positive test two days in a row, then had a negative test and started bleeding) and she basically said ‘we don’t count those, it’s just your body getting confused’.

I was not hugely impressed.

Genevieva · 02/12/2022 16:15

A loss this early on it counts as a chemical pregnancy rather than a miscarriage.

jamoncrumpets · 02/12/2022 16:19

This early in a pregnancy there's nothing a GP or anyone else in the NHS can do really, especially as your HCG levels aren't strong enough to register on certain tests. They can't crack their knuckles and go 'Right, plan of action'. There isn't one. It's just wait and see. If the lines get stronger then that obviously indicates it's ok. Otherwise it's sadly a chemical pregnancy ie a very very early miscarriage.

Any pregnancy that doesn't develop past that point is obviously sad for the parents involved, but for a GP it's taking up resources they desperately need to distribute to others. So I can kind of understand them being a bit brusque tbh.

Dontaskdontget · 02/12/2022 16:21

If you’ve been TTC for a year without a successful pregnancy I think the NHS are supposed to start fertility investigations if you ask for them. I’d request that asap. However for what it’s worth my experience was that the NHS knows absolutely nothing anout fertility and makes a lot of things worse and delays things wasting time you don’t have, so if money allows, go private somewhere like the Lister or ARGC asap.

I don’t think it makes much difference in terms of next steps whether you have 1 miscarriage on your record or three (or whether there is anything there about anxiety), they’ll do the same blood tests and ultrasounds either way.

Sorry your GP is a dick. If at all possible see a woman next time.

jamoncrumpets · 02/12/2022 16:22

FWIW I have had three chemical pregnancies, which were like bad periods.

And a miscarriage at 12 weeks which was pretty much full labour.

They were very very different beasts in terms of how they affected me physically and emotionally.

thisismylittlebrotherGeorge · 02/12/2022 16:23

Are you still bleeding OP?

Keep testing and see if your tests get darker. Thats all you can do.

In 2020 I fell pregnant quickly after stopping the pill, no period between coming off and getting pregnant. I tested at 9dpo (I had fertile signs), test was positive. The next day I had a horrendous sharp pain in my left side and started bleeding heavily. I thought it was a chemical. Next day the test was darker and again the next day.
My 18 month old is running round my feet as we speak right now and she is perfect.

It might be ok. I hope it all works out for you.

Nightwithhertrainofstars · 02/12/2022 16:25

Genevieva · 02/12/2022 16:15

A loss this early on it counts as a chemical pregnancy rather than a miscarriage.

I don't think this is accurate. Chemical pregnancy is not really a clinical term, it is an early MC. It does sound likely to be what you have experienced OP. I'm really sorry, I know it is really hard. And the GP sounds very insensitive and patronising and it must have been horrible to have felt as if you weren't being believed. You know your body and the results you saw on the tests you did at home. I would agree with PP in terms of pursuing fertility treatment that you can just report how long you have been trying and how many MCs you have had and don't need to provide proof for this. I wish you all the best in your journey.

potchy · 02/12/2022 16:25

jamoncrumpets · 02/12/2022 16:19

This early in a pregnancy there's nothing a GP or anyone else in the NHS can do really, especially as your HCG levels aren't strong enough to register on certain tests. They can't crack their knuckles and go 'Right, plan of action'. There isn't one. It's just wait and see. If the lines get stronger then that obviously indicates it's ok. Otherwise it's sadly a chemical pregnancy ie a very very early miscarriage.

Any pregnancy that doesn't develop past that point is obviously sad for the parents involved, but for a GP it's taking up resources they desperately need to distribute to others. So I can kind of understand them being a bit brusque tbh.

I was about to say exactly this.

I'm sorry op, but at such an early stage it would probably just be considered a chemical.

Unfortunately there's absolutely nothing any doctor can do.

laalaaleelee · 02/12/2022 16:27

He sounds like an absolute ballsack of a man. I'm so sorry for what you've been through.

OneFrenchEgg · 02/12/2022 16:30

Sorry I meant additional support

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