To think the GP is wrong about miscarriage

[Digitalash]

Me and DH are TTC, I suffered a missed MC in July and then this month my period was a few days late on as well as having a few minor symptoms such as everything spelling weird/different and being super tired.

I took a test yesterday and it was positive (but faint) and then last night i got horrible cramps and started bleeding. I know it's early so there isn't much anyone can do but I rang the GP explained what had happened, took another test, still positive, he said I needed to come and do a test there.

I did and the test at the GP's was negative so he said its just a late period and he doesn't know why I'm here (he was really insensitive in general) i said but they were positive at home though and I didn't think you could get false positive? And he said that the test he is looking at is negative so maybe I am mistaken(???)

I know it's very early on and very common but we have been try for a year and now after another miscarriage I'm just gutted and for him to dismiss made me think I am going crazy?

I have attached a picture of the test from this morning so people can tell me if I am.losing my mind. If I'm not though AIBU to complain to my surgery about him?

I'm worried now it won't go down on my records as a miscarriage and as me being hysterical instead and may delay help in the future etc. If I need it

When I had this after a MMC, I went straight to the EPAU who dealt with my first one. They did a blood test, confirmed hCG was too low but counted it as a MC even without their test being positive and told me to call them next pregnancy test positive. I got additional scans from them for that one.

Apparently the line is when it can be seen on ultrasound rather than just detected in your blood or urine. But it's a pretty arbitrary line either way.

@NalaNana Completely agree 🙂

Implying that she’s misread a pregnancy test, or is lying is not on.

They can’t stop a miscarriage from happening clearly, but they can acknowledge that it’s happened and not imply she’s wrong/a liar

This.

I had five losses in a row and only two of them would have "counted" as a miscarriage rather than a chemical pregnancy.

I have no proof of the first one, but luckily after the second one I managed to get seen for recurrent miscarriage, and when the fourth and fifth ones happened I had blood tests prescribed so they are all on my medical records. The whole situation was distressing enough even when I was being taken seriously. I don't know what I'd have done if someone had told me most of my losses didn't count so there wasn't a problem.

I've suffered two miscarriages, too. In my case nobody doubted me (they were confirmed on several scans and I had a D&C both times), but I would've been desperate, furious and devastated if I'd had the response you're describing from a doctor. Honestly it's just not okay on so many levels. No, they can't do much, really, as it's very early and your body seems to be taking care of it by itself. But he could at the very least have some damn empathy, say something nice, and put it down in your records to make sure you'll be offered adequate help if it happens a third time (God forbids).

On a side note - even needing surgery twice, I never actually had anyone ask me how I was doing or whether I was okay. Despite research showing that fairly large percentages (some studies showing up to around 30%) of women having an early miscarriage will have symptoms of PTSD.

I know this wasn't what you brought up, but I still want to say that I'm generally not impressed with the lack of care for women suffering miscarriages.

If you're asking whether the test in your picture is positive, then definitely yes. And no, you are not likely to have a false positive. If you're asking whether YABU to complain, then NO - YANBU!

I can absolutely echo poor treatment from medical professionals! I went to the EPU for a scan with pain to be told it was ectopic and then put back into a waiting room with pregnant people for hours while I awaited bloods, physical exams etc all while being told not to eat or drink in case I needed emergency surgery, and being asked casually how far along I was by others in the waiting area!

No private room, no sympathy, no asking if I was ok, not even any tissues. I was also seen that day and following days by a very pregnant nurse - obviously she has just as much right to work as anyone else but I found it a bit of a kick in the teeth and felt they could have sent a different member of staff to take repeat bloods, I know they had them!

I think your test at home was probably more sensitive than the one at the doctors surgery as it doesn't sound like there was much time difference between the two tests (either that or urine concentration could have been different). Test again tomorrow.

You are right - there isn't much any one can do if it is a miscarriage, doesn't make it any easier though, and it's good for your GP to have a record of these things. Sending hugs xx

I was having private uninvasive fertility treatments prepping for my IVF, had been going for about 5 months when my nurse announced proudly and excitedly announced she was 3 months pregnant to me. I didnt go back.

Shes a nice person and I know her life doesnt go on hold but it was just such a kick in the teeth.

I got that nurse because the one I was suppose to have went on maternity leave. So 2 out of 3 of the nurse at the infertility sessions where pregnant, just seems like oblivious planning and forethought when the entire point was infertility.

The clinic the nurses rotated across departments, the nurse I had wasnt originally in infertility she came to cover the one on maternity and they had non infertility related groups too just 1 specific fertility clinic so to put the 2 pregnant nurses in infertility just seemed batshit.

I’ve been through infertility clinics and tbh I think expecting them to only staff with non pregnant people is a bit unrealistic.I agree that in an ideal world they would be more sensitive (particularly in private clinics where one assumes they’re less stretched) but I know how upset I was by anyone getting pregnant when I apparently couldn’t. My cousin ‘had’ to get married and my mum dreaded telling me, I howled.it’s rubbish and unless you’ve been through infertility and MCs I don’t think people get it.

I’m so sorry OP, hope you’re feeling a bit better. I’m also sorry the GP was so dismissive and rude. I don’t think you did the wrong thing going, you need to rule out things like an ectopic and people see their doctors for a lot less.

this happened to me (weirdly my period was early and just knew it wasn’t right) and I didn’t see my GP but same as you wanted it recorded as it was my second loss so I paid for a private blood test the next day. The doctor was just as rude and brusque but at least confirmed I had been pregnant.

Hugs to you OP, I have a 6 week old now as was pregnant again a few months later so all the best.