My dad won't contribute as much to my wedding as he did to my sister's because....

[malificent7]

Apparently he has spent more on me over the years?

Now i am bloody grateful to be getting any money and i feel like telling him to stick his money tbh. I am just hurt that he has kept tabs.

My dsis went to private school for 2 more years than me ( i hated it so i'm not jealous) but I think he has spent about the same on us both.

He contributed some money when i went to uni as i was battling an eating disorder and severe mh problems so couldnt workuch whilst studying but I have always worked afterwards. I paid rent when i had to move home for 6 months as a single mum....so i havn't taken the piss and am now fully financially independent.Paid for my own house deposit like an adult etc!

I think he feels he has got a better return on his contribution for my sister as she earns 6 figures and so does her dh. I am on a lower salary.

My wedding will be a lot more modest than hers anyway...very low key. I just told him that he should have kept a spreadsheet over the years if he feels that resentful!

Comparison is the thief of joy.

I would be really upset a being treated so differently too. You could almost understand it if he was helping out the less well off sister more (although this would still be unfair) but that isn't the case.
But with the private school comment, is it possible he meant he shouldn't have sent you there as you obviously didn't like it and he wonders if that contributed to your MH issues? That's how I'd have taken a comment like that, but of course I don't know how it was said or the context

My parents have been very careful to be fair to me and my db over the years. When I got married, they gave him the same amount of money as he wasn't planning to get married. He's nearly 50 now and no plans to marry. He has a v low income and they have helped him out a few times, but always give me the same money. So they do keep track of what they give us.

In your case though, it's not clear how much more money you've been given, if at all. It also seems to be about how much he values you compared to your sister.

If when you were growing up you felt equally loved and cared for as your sister then I wouldn't take this as a sign that he values you less.

My parents spend a lot of money on my siblings and me but none of us keep tabs..we are happy for the others to receive support because we love them and our parents have always been caring towards all of us.

So unless there is a backstory I'd let it go. You are an adult (I assume). Your parents don't owe you anything and who knows what weird calculation they (or you) are following.