The Lady Hussey racism thing

[Tiiiiiiiiiiired]

I am really conflicted about this.

If went to live in Japan (I did live there for 3 years several years ago) I would be expected to be asked about where I'm from because I don't look Japanese (and in fact I was asked many times! I didn't mind at all, it was my choice to be in Japan and I knew I didn't look japanese). If I chose to stay in that country and have children, I'd expect my children would be asked the same, and their children and that although they would be Japanese by birth, I would hope they would be happy to talk about their heritage and where they are from and not mind being asked why they don't look Japanese and what the history is. I wouldnt think it racist and wouldn't want such questions to be stopped because we only learn from others, and about others, by talking and feeling safe to ask questions.

So why in the UK does everyone have to be sooo careful with what they say? This woman has a non English name, was wearing some non western clothing, as was asked about her heritage. Why is this abuse?

We need to stop being so sensitive and allow dialogue.

What is genuine racism if not treating people differently and trying to invalidate their nationality because of the colour of their skin@YouknowIknowbest?

Susan hussey is an idiot.

It’s embarrassing that the royal family don’t get rid of all these hangers on. What’s she still doing at these events at 85 anyway if she can’t behave respectfully.

If the conversation happened exactly as a Ngozi Fulani said, it shows the contempt that they regard us all with really.

Because despite what a previous posters have said white slavery has been prevalent in the U.K.
(I in no way diminish the atrocities of euro-American slave trade from the 17th century onwards)

mine and factory workers and their families were seen as property of owners.
clearances of agricultural workers from the homes and lives started in the 18th century and I will argue that it still goes on today in a fashion.

standing together with a stronger voice we can stop this unreasonable behaviour and make positive change.

many people have said here Ngozi Fulani was in the past critical of the royal family and their structure and if true I’m not sure why she attended the event, I would not have.

OP would you demand the same of white Americans, white South Africans or Asian Kenyans?

If not, then yes it's racist.

Truly shocked at the number of people defending Hussey.

I know it happens, I wasn't exactly shocked to read the account of the conversation yesterday. But I am shocked at the number of people who think it's ok.

It must be utterly exhausting to put up with this shit every day.

This woman has a non English name, was wearing some non western clothing, as was asked about her heritage. Why is this abuse?

None of this precludes her being English, so when Fulani gave the answer of Hackney, why on earth was she not believed? What could possibly be the reason?

Sooooo many threads because mumsnetters can't accept that racism exists.

Not naming those involved slurs everyone.

Let this thread be a good lesson for you then. If you ask someone where they are from, take their answer at face value and leave it there. Being well travelled and interested in other cultures is not a good excuse to ask someone where they are “really” from.

Because it’s irrelevant.

As a senior BAME professional, I’ve been interviewed by my company to encourage more BAME management where I’ve talked candidly about my race.

That doesn’t mean I want to give my history to every one who shows a prurient interest. If I say I’m from London, accept it and don’t ask me ‘Where are you really from?’. It’s not hard.

This wasn’t about racism it was about manners.

The lady in question was asked a reasonable question in a clumsy way. If she had politely answered, knowing that what was really being asked was about her heritage, then the conversation wouldn’t have escalated.

LH could also have politely accepted the first answer, but when someone is dressed in an outfit that it going to lead to questioning about where it’s from and then refuses to say, and then complains of racism, I don’t have much sympathy.

I’m only half white and look white but foreign, I get questioned all the time about where I’m from. People are just being interested, not racist. And as long as I don’t choose to give an obtuse reply, it’s always a pleasant conversation.

It was awful! The part that got me the mist wS even after she'd answered were based in Hackney she kept going on and on, then when she said I'm British she still wouldn't have it!!? She should know better than to speak to people like that she's a lady in waiting his years and years of experience. She should know better and was being absolutely diabolical

No one is obliged to give a “requested answer” to anyone. It’s not a court of law.

Yes I wish people would stop saying it’s a transcript, what has been tweeted is Ngozi Fulani‘s version.

There are ways and means of asking someone what their heritage is. This was not it.

Oh, look another racist comment about Ngozi’s dress. Because it literally is just a dress.

Your ‘I’m only half white’ comment is very telling and says a lot.

Its just tedious being asked about your heritage all the time. Sometimes you want to talk about the weather, or how delicious the food is, but non-white people spend far more time than white people using up social energy on these questions about origins from people who then spout inanities about cricket or how they passed through the airport one time.

I find it hard to believe so many people don't understand the difference between being asked, repeatedly, where you are "really" from and being asked about your heritage, if it's appropriate.

DH is from another country and his parents are from a third. He has the accent of his country and the name and looks of the third. But he is white. No one disbelieves him when he says where he is from. They do sometimes ask him where his family is from originally or he will volunteer that information, usually along lines of, "I see your name is [xxx] - is that where your family came from originally?"

when it suits her is exactly the point.

You don't get to dictate when people should talk about thier heritage.

Ngozi gets to decide when she wants to talk about her heritage- not you or Lady SH.

There is no discrepancy.

I agree about moving her hair out of the way, it’s a very presumptuous gesture and a message about who thinks they have the “higher status”. I think that set the tone for what followed. I think the transcript of what was actually said is pretty obviously racist and very patronising whether the exchange was 5 or 15 minutes. I’m all for writing many things off as a storm in a teacup but I don’t blame Ngozi for being offended at all and I don’t think this is a storm in a teacup, and neither does Buckingham Palace given the timing.

The problem is the hinterland of Buckingham Palace is chock full of well connected but not very bright people who should be kept in a pen in Gloucestershire and told not to speak to anyone they haven’t seen in the pages of Country Life.

Why would they say that? She wasn't asked about her parents.

The lady in question was asked a reasonable question in a clumsy way. If she had politely answered, knowing that what was really being asked was about her heritage, then the conversation wouldn’t have escalated.

LH could also have politely accepted the first answer, but when someone is dressed in an outfit that it going to lead to questioning about where it’s from and then refuses to say, and then complains of racism, I don’t have much sympathy.

Fucking hell.

I’m afraid ‘I’m white and didn’t feel offended when something equivalent happened to me’, because the experience cannot be equivalent due to power relations.

At the end of the day, if Lady Hussey can’t interact respectfully with all members of the public, she’s unfit for her role.

The fact that you referred to it as 'thing' made me not read any of what you wrote. Do you mean racist incident?

The lady in question was asked a reasonable question in a clumsy way. If she had politely answered, knowing that what was really being asked was about her heritage, then the conversation wouldn’t have escalated.

This is bullshit.

It was the questioner's racist approach that caused the issue.

Do you really not understand this?

a) because the woman answered her with Hackney, and she didn’t accept that answer

and

b) because being a white person in Japan isn’t compatible with being a black person in Britain - many many black people in Britain are second and third generation and everyone knows this - they come from where they were born and grew up in the UK

c) because Lady H was attending that event as a member of the royal household not as an individual, so her behaviour reflects not just on her but the institution

In the unlikely event a large number of white people migrate to Japan the same would be true in 70 years, although it anyway be less sensitive because they would probably have migrated as middle class professionals, and not subject to the same degree of discrimination and economic disadvantage many black families have have experienced over generations in the UK

Also - she moved Ngozi's hair? WTAF? That is so patronising and rude and in my experience only ever happens to children and black women.