Am I being unreasonable to not want my MIL to take my baby with her to church?

[ConfusedAdult2001]

I am not at all against going to church, believing in a particular religion or anything. But I also don't want my baby going to church with my MIL and SIL without me?

My DD is 5 months old today. My husband and I have plans to go out for a few hours on Saturday since it has been a long while. We asked MIL if she minded watching DD, to which she agreed, but did say she was going to take her to church with her (if she even goes).

My only real hesitation is me not wanting DD going somewhere without me being there? I'm fine with her being home with MIL and SIL, but going out without me or even Dad present is a little unsettling for me right now.

I think I'm just going to end up going with them if she decides she wants to go to church since DH and I have plans for around 1, so I should have the time to go to church and then come back home to change to go back out with DH.

Keep in mind, MIL and SIL do not drive, so they would have to wait for me or DH to come pick them up. I'm just not a fan of going to their church because there's a language barrier and I understand absolutely nothing the pastor says, and so I'm just sitting there with them, sometimes with DD, just listening to them speak, not knowing what to do, what's being said, where to look in the bible, when to stand, when to bow our heads, etc.

MIL will try to translate for me, but then I'm there for 5-6 hours listening to them preach in a language I don't understand and her trying to translate a few things for me here and there.

So it doesn’t matter if the baby has a shit time for 5-6 hours and gets zero sleep/exercise? As long as MIL can do her usual routine and carry the baby wherever she wants like an accessory?

Not really, No. It's a one off, and it's not like the baby will remember. If the baby has a shit time, the MIL will to and she'll never ask again.

Or, on the flip side, they might both enjoy the experience. It's good for babies to be socialised from a young age too.

YABU.

The problem is that a 5 month old baby will need feeding and a change of nappies in a 5-6 hour window.

What do you do when she cries needing attention like a 5 month old? Take her outside church in a hurry? Where do you change her nappy, breastfeed or give her a bottle? Again, take her outside the church? What if she's fussing/crying despite a nappy change and a meal as most 5 months do. Do you keep her inside or keep walking out of church?

Why going to the church in the first place when she's so little?

Who wants a baby handed round a church? No amount of money stuffed in a pram is going to make me ok with lots of strangers handling my baby.

She could take my toddlers to a black mass if it meant a few hours of peace!!

I might only be unsettled because whenever DD leave the house, I am always there with her because I'm driving everyone wherever we have to go.

I would not allow them to get a ride from someone we don't know or a taxi if they have DD with them just because I'm not that trusting in people I don't know, particularly with DD.

I know MIL wants to go to church since she hasn't been in a while, and I know she wants to bring DD with, so if she decides she wants to go, I'll go with just because I would have to drop them off and pick them up anyway, and I just prefer to be there with my baby. I also feel it doesn't look right for me to not be with her at church as her mother.

I'm not at all trying to confine them to the house. If she wants to go with DD, I'll go as well, if not, I'll stay with DD until me and DH have to leave.

I just don't like hearing DD scream or cry extensively and feel guilty if I can't do anything to help her.

I’ve tried to separate your questions, hope it’s worked:

1. It’s ok if you don’t want MIl to go out somewhere with your DD without you, your reasons are fine, your DD is too small and it’s not like you deny them a stroll in the park.
2. just tell MIL that you’ve changed your mind and don’t need her to stay with DD as she has had other plans (visit to the church)
3. yes, it’s fine if you don’t want to go to the church with them and don’t want them to take DD to the church in principle. Have you discussed it with your DH in advance? What were your plans for children’s religious upbringing?

I don't think church is anything to do with it. I wouldn't leave my 5mo for hours with someone unable to reliably comfort her as I don't think it's fair on the baby or the person looking after them 🤷‍♀️

Taking a baby to church is a bit crazy, especially a long service.
The main issue is whether your MIL and SIL are capable of looking after her anywhere if they can't soothe her? I wouldn't be able to leave my baby knowing they were going to be upset.