Do you know anyone who got married very young?

[Worryaboutmybread]

I’m a teacher at a secondary with a sixth form attached. One of my year 13 girls is engaged to her boyfriend (whose 19 and finished school last year). They’re planning on getting married this summer after she’s done her a levels. She seems very exited and was talking to her friends about going dress shopping with her mum. I said congratulations as I don’t feel like it’s my place to discourage it as she’s technically an adult but I can’t lie I felt like the whole thing is quite strange. His and her family are very religious and I think that’s a part of it, they’re apparently going to live and work on his uncles farm. It just seems so young to be settling down and like both of them will miss out on a lot. I have never come across something like this before in 10 years of teaching so I guess my AIBU is do you know anyone else who’s done this and got married while still in their teens?

I do. Times were different but they are together 50+ years later, and seem to be very happy. Religion is involved, they are committed to each other and their faith. I don't know how significant this is.

I got engaged on my 18th birthday married at 24
my sister married at 19 they are divorced now

among Christians it’s very common to marry young and have very short engagements- it’s because sex before marriage is strongly frowned upon

even older people have short engagements
a friend of mine met, got engaged and married within a year

In the 60s and 70s it wasn't unusual and early 20s was common. I haven't heard of a teen marriage for years. I know one couple in their 40s who married early 20s but no other early marriages.

I also know a couple in a later generation who met at 6th form, married soon after university having visited each other during term time and spent the vacations together in their home town while staying back at their parents' houses, and who are over 20 years in and have 2 children and again seem happy.

My G-ma was born in July 1908 and was married when she had my uncle in February 1926 - so she was 17? A shot-gun wedding.

My Mil got married when she was 16 in 1963. She had a miscarriage otherwise it would have been shot-gun.

My Mum was married at 21 in 1952.

Otherwise I'm missing something I don't know any people who got married before 25.

Except I recently went to the wedding of a 25 year old - she seemed unusually young to be doing that.

I have friends who married at 18, still together more than 40 years later. They weren't religious. A friend's daughter married while in the sixth form and they are still together twenty years on. A family member married at university. My aunt and uncle married at 18 and have recently celebrated their diamond wedding anniversary.

I got married at 17, and have been married for 40 years, never regretted it, or feel I missed out. I've been very lucky, I think, as we still love each other,if not more now.

I know loads of people who were early twenties, including myself, my parents, and both grandmothers. Not many who were teens.

A friend of mine was 16 (and her husband 18) when they got married. They're approaching their 30th anniversary now.

Me! Age 20 and my Mum was 19...both still happily married to our DHs. I'm mid 30s now.

I think marriage is the best thing ever as long as it to the right person and you're prepared to grow and put each other first. If my kids meet the love of their life young and they treat each other with kindness and respect then I would tell them to go for it.

I was 19, my husband 21 and we have been together for 30 years. We din't marry till we had been together 9yrs though. We have 4 teenagers now and still happy together.

My parents married at 17 and 18 , married 44 years.

Married at 20. Amazed we're still together. Totally different people now to who we were when we married. Lots of ups and downs but still the love of my life. Married for 16 years so far.

Or how to spell 'excited.'

My godparents got married when she was 18 and he was 19. They were together for 55 years. A friend of mine got married at 17 (and literally only just 17). She and her husband are still married, now in their late 60s. Within my own friendship group, most people married mid twenties.

I’d far rather my DD got married at 20 than had a baby at 20. Ideally she’ll wait longer before doing either but one virtually fully reversible if it all goes to shit, the other is not.

Married at 19 which was 27 years ago now,still very much in love with 3 children and one newborn grandchild. ♥️

My parents, married at 17 and 19, been married 61 years. Those were different times though, my dd is 17, I can't even begin to imagine her getting married at this age.

I knew a few couples, all from mad religious families. It's about halvsies on who's still together 20 years on.

Yes, a few evangelical Christians who got married when we were 18. We’re now 40 and everybody else I knew was in their thirties before they got married.

The ones who got married at 18 are still married and quite happy. They are the school friends who have changed the least though. They didn’t go to university and still live in our home town. They’re enjoying their lives although it would not be for me.

I laughed at the PP who felt getting married young was a sign of maturity!

It's certainly not common now, however my friend got married at 17 and is still married 48 years later.

Yes, none of them still together. Got divorced v young too.

Friends of DS got married at 16 (Scotland) and they waited 20 years to have their first child.

Ha, yeah, I was 22. Still with him grr, 22 years later ( no, only joking, very happy). No religion here. Don't know if it really makes too much difference in terms of likelihood to last, whatever your age. Just luck, among other things, I think.

One of my DD's friends got married at 19 last year. Not religious, no babies and both at university. She was in and out of foster care during secondary school, so I suppose she was looking for some security.