Page 7 | To ask if you have a normal relationship with food?

Miajk · 2022-11-27T20:20:21+00:00

And if so, what is your weight like, have you ever dieted? How often do you think about food, do you only eat when hungry and stop when full? By normal I mean: no counting/tracking, no excluding food groups (unless for allergy or other health reasons), etc.

Baconand · 30/11/2022 13:23

I don’t remember anything much about childhood eating if I’m honest. I think we were encouraged to try things but never forced. I don’t think we had pudding regularly but don’t remember ever needing to finish plate first.
I think we had a fair amount of choice and what we ate regularly was what we liked. Non stressful!
My parents did choose relatively healthy things though for the 70’s eg we only had wholemeal bread and they rarely fried anything.
I didn’t have fried bacon until I was in my 20’s for example, they always grilled it and their habits stuck with me.
I think meals were a bit of a non event really, I try to downplay it with DD and try to avoid using it as a treat or demonising either.

LuciferRising · 30/11/2022 15:00

I think it's important to note that a normal relationship with food, for many people, does not mean they eat what they want. Many people still have to make conscious decisions about what they eat but it doesn't rule their life and is not a big deal. Same with exercise. It doesn't always come easy to get out there and do it, it is making the conscious decision to do it.

CrunchyCarrot · 30/11/2022 22:55

I'd be really interested to know those of you that have a healthy relationship with food and haven't had huge weight fluctuations your whole life- how was food tackled by your parents? I was always brought up to finish a plate or no dessert etc., which is very different to advice given to us parents now

I was brought up by my mother and grandmother (no father on the scene) and my grandmother did all the cooking - she was a good cook, good basic wholesome food. I always loved veg but I was a fussy eater. My grandmother had had terrible food experiences as a young girl brought up in a convent school at the beginning of the 1900s, where she had to finish what was on her plate (and the food was dreadful) even if it was lumps of gristle. She used to tell me stories about it, trying to hide the gristle in her pocket and dumping it in the school playground later! As a result I never had to eat things I didn't like, she was a real softie, although sometimes Mum used to say 'you're ruining that child!' There was no requirement to eat everything in order to get dessert, either. Funnily enough I haven't eaten dessert for a very long time, and don't miss it, but I do have a sweet tooth.

amicissimma · 01/12/2022 11:49

I'd say I have a 'normal' relationship with food and always have.

I weigh 9 stone and have done since the 1980s with no conscious control of intake. Since the menopause I find I want less to eat. I chuckle at the posters who talk about 'competitive undereating' when they describe quantities similar to, or greater than, I would eat, want to eat and maintain my weight on.

I don't think about food much and am surprised when people try to engage me in discussions about it, or describe some dish or recipe. I'm just not interested. Obviously I have to choose in the supermarket, but tend to just pick a few things I fancy, put them in the fridge and eat them in date order. I eat when I'm hungry, which roughly co-incides with breakfast, lunch and dinner. If I'm not hungry I don't mind missing a meal. OTOH, I eat what I feel like and don't deny myself anything. My body tends to tell me what it needs - I sometimes get a huge desire for red meat, and have been rejected for blood donation due to anaemia around then.

I do like fruit and veg and easily have 10 portions a day. At least half of my lunch and dinner will be veg, with fruit for 'pudding'. I prefer a lot of vegetables raw to cooked.

I absolutely hate feeling 'stuffed' and find a plateful that is too much quite off-putting. I know I can leave part of it, but I'd rather not be faced with it in the first place.

Sometimes it seems to me that I enjoy food more than some of my larger friends. I've particularly noticed if we're sharing a box of fancy chocolates - I am still licking the remains of my first from my back teeth and enjoying the sensation and taste, while they are on their second or third. I don't want the whole experience of my first disturbed! This is also true of any tasty dishes. The reverse is true - I can open a packet of, say, crisps, have a few and then get fed up with the synthetic flavour and put a clip on to finish them another time.

Growing up we were very hard up and meals tended to be small and rather strange. Potatoes, cheap vegetables and offal featured. We certainly had to clear our plates; although my parents never said, I was aware that they found it hard to put food on the table and heartbreaking if it was rejected. I was often hungry but I survived and don't fear hunger the way I've noticed some people do. My grandmother grew a lot of fruit and vegetables, so when we stayed with her I enjoyed them freshly picked in unlimited quantities. We only had treats occasionally, so they really were treats. If they had the money we would have ice cream for pudding on a Saturday and two squares of chocolate on a Sunday evening. I don't enjoy a big slab of chocolate nowadays like I used to enjoy the Sunday night treat.

OnlyFannys · 01/12/2022 11:53

Mine is now but I used to starve myself and yo yo diet. Over covid I really educated myself about food and calories, tdee etc and used a tracker to lose weight. Now I am a healhy weight and because I understand it all much better now I naturally eat within my calories without needing to track as I understand what I need in a day and roughly what that looks like on a plate. I deny myself nothing but my portion sizes are good now and i make healthy choices (like upping my veg and lowering the carb portion on my meals)

OnlyFannys · 01/12/2022 11:54

LuciferRising · 30/11/2022 15:00

I think it's important to note that a normal relationship with food, for many people, does not mean they eat what they want. Many people still have to make conscious decisions about what they eat but it doesn't rule their life and is not a big deal. Same with exercise. It doesn't always come easy to get out there and do it, it is making the conscious decision to do it.

Totally agree with this, you need to be aware just not obsessive

StarDolphins · 01/12/2022 11:59

I have a normal relationship with food. Never diet, never eat too much (sometimes) & always pretty much same weight unless stressed then I lose a bit. I don’t think about calories/fat etc more just what I want but within my mind wanting to choose healthy(ish) things. I don’t weigh myself but nurse at my pill check saying always the same.

as a teenager, if I ever mentioned anything to do with body, i was swiftly told ‘it doesn’t matter what size,shape you are’ but dieting or food was never mentioned.

SomeChickensAreJustTooBig · 01/12/2022 19:52

StarDolphins · 01/12/2022 11:59

I have a normal relationship with food. Never diet, never eat too much (sometimes) & always pretty much same weight unless stressed then I lose a bit. I don’t think about calories/fat etc more just what I want but within my mind wanting to choose healthy(ish) things. I don’t weigh myself but nurse at my pill check saying always the same.

as a teenager, if I ever mentioned anything to do with body, i was swiftly told ‘it doesn’t matter what size,shape you are’ but dieting or food was never mentioned.

The same for me.

1980sfookup · 01/12/2022 20:56

amicissimma · 01/12/2022 11:49

I'd say I have a 'normal' relationship with food and always have.

I weigh 9 stone and have done since the 1980s with no conscious control of intake. Since the menopause I find I want less to eat. I chuckle at the posters who talk about 'competitive undereating' when they describe quantities similar to, or greater than, I would eat, want to eat and maintain my weight on.

I don't think about food much and am surprised when people try to engage me in discussions about it, or describe some dish or recipe. I'm just not interested. Obviously I have to choose in the supermarket, but tend to just pick a few things I fancy, put them in the fridge and eat them in date order. I eat when I'm hungry, which roughly co-incides with breakfast, lunch and dinner. If I'm not hungry I don't mind missing a meal. OTOH, I eat what I feel like and don't deny myself anything. My body tends to tell me what it needs - I sometimes get a huge desire for red meat, and have been rejected for blood donation due to anaemia around then.

I do like fruit and veg and easily have 10 portions a day. At least half of my lunch and dinner will be veg, with fruit for 'pudding'. I prefer a lot of vegetables raw to cooked.

I absolutely hate feeling 'stuffed' and find a plateful that is too much quite off-putting. I know I can leave part of it, but I'd rather not be faced with it in the first place.

Sometimes it seems to me that I enjoy food more than some of my larger friends. I've particularly noticed if we're sharing a box of fancy chocolates - I am still licking the remains of my first from my back teeth and enjoying the sensation and taste, while they are on their second or third. I don't want the whole experience of my first disturbed! This is also true of any tasty dishes. The reverse is true - I can open a packet of, say, crisps, have a few and then get fed up with the synthetic flavour and put a clip on to finish them another time.

Growing up we were very hard up and meals tended to be small and rather strange. Potatoes, cheap vegetables and offal featured. We certainly had to clear our plates; although my parents never said, I was aware that they found it hard to put food on the table and heartbreaking if it was rejected. I was often hungry but I survived and don't fear hunger the way I've noticed some people do. My grandmother grew a lot of fruit and vegetables, so when we stayed with her I enjoyed them freshly picked in unlimited quantities. We only had treats occasionally, so they really were treats. If they had the money we would have ice cream for pudding on a Saturday and two squares of chocolate on a Sunday evening. I don't enjoy a big slab of chocolate nowadays like I used to enjoy the Sunday night treat.

Im not surprised you don't eat a lot - you're already bursting with snugness.

AttilaTheUOkHun · 02/12/2022 02:04

amicissimma · 01/12/2022 11:49

I'd say I have a 'normal' relationship with food and always have.

I weigh 9 stone and have done since the 1980s with no conscious control of intake. Since the menopause I find I want less to eat. I chuckle at the posters who talk about 'competitive undereating' when they describe quantities similar to, or greater than, I would eat, want to eat and maintain my weight on.

I don't think about food much and am surprised when people try to engage me in discussions about it, or describe some dish or recipe. I'm just not interested. Obviously I have to choose in the supermarket, but tend to just pick a few things I fancy, put them in the fridge and eat them in date order. I eat when I'm hungry, which roughly co-incides with breakfast, lunch and dinner. If I'm not hungry I don't mind missing a meal. OTOH, I eat what I feel like and don't deny myself anything. My body tends to tell me what it needs - I sometimes get a huge desire for red meat, and have been rejected for blood donation due to anaemia around then.

I do like fruit and veg and easily have 10 portions a day. At least half of my lunch and dinner will be veg, with fruit for 'pudding'. I prefer a lot of vegetables raw to cooked.

I absolutely hate feeling 'stuffed' and find a plateful that is too much quite off-putting. I know I can leave part of it, but I'd rather not be faced with it in the first place.

Sometimes it seems to me that I enjoy food more than some of my larger friends. I've particularly noticed if we're sharing a box of fancy chocolates - I am still licking the remains of my first from my back teeth and enjoying the sensation and taste, while they are on their second or third. I don't want the whole experience of my first disturbed! This is also true of any tasty dishes. The reverse is true - I can open a packet of, say, crisps, have a few and then get fed up with the synthetic flavour and put a clip on to finish them another time.

Growing up we were very hard up and meals tended to be small and rather strange. Potatoes, cheap vegetables and offal featured. We certainly had to clear our plates; although my parents never said, I was aware that they found it hard to put food on the table and heartbreaking if it was rejected. I was often hungry but I survived and don't fear hunger the way I've noticed some people do. My grandmother grew a lot of fruit and vegetables, so when we stayed with her I enjoyed them freshly picked in unlimited quantities. We only had treats occasionally, so they really were treats. If they had the money we would have ice cream for pudding on a Saturday and two squares of chocolate on a Sunday evening. I don't enjoy a big slab of chocolate nowadays like I used to enjoy the Sunday night treat.

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