To ask if you have a normal relationship with food?

[Miajk]

And if so, what is your weight like, have you ever dieted? How often do you think about food, do you only eat when hungry and stop when full?

By normal I mean: no counting/tracking, no excluding food groups (unless for allergy or other health reasons), etc.

I think I have a good relationship with food.

I’m a size 8-10 and fairly athletic.

My family also have a good relationship with food - growing up I never heard anything about my parents dieting, or my older siblings. We had treats but probably had a healthier diet than a lot of my school mates who often had multiple in their lunch boxes and had fizzy drinks.

I got into sports at secondary school age so was quite fit and I’ve continued to exercise throughout my adult life.

I weigh the same now in my 30s as I did when I was 16, but I’ve never intentionally dieted or tried to keep weight off.

I think I self regulate food quite well - I don’t always finish a meal, so I’ll leave some if I'm full. If I go out for a big meal, probably the other meals that day will be smaller.

I love to cook and so does DH and we cook from scratch at home, but we do go out a couple of times a week to eat. I think most of what we eat is good quality though. I’m vegan which encourages me to eat lots of veg, and whole foods (I don’t eat much processed meat alternatives).

I actually think about food a lot - and we’re the sort of couple that plan holidays around where there will be good food options - but only in a positive way. I think about recipes, source good ingredients, enjoy trying different things etc.

I love food and have never dieted. I cook and eat a wide wide variety. There’s very few things I don’t like. But even if I don’t like it, I’ve no problem eating it if our in front of me. I had a patch of mental illness during lockdown and couldn’t eat. But that was severe anxiety and adrenaline. I was always 57kg, even after all my babies, but fell to 52kg in the space of 3 weeks. I got better quickly once medicated (well, my appetite came back quickly) and I over ate for the following year as I never wanted to not be able to eat like that again. I’m now 64kg from that but don’t look overweight still and am steady at the weight for 2 yrs. if I cut out more wine and chocolate I’d probably go back but I’m happy and we’ll do don’t really care.

I had not idea people had such a bad relationship with food till mumsnet! I grew up with a good cook for a mum and almost zero processed food. She grew a lot of our veg. I grow veg now too.

I think I've always had a good relationship with food.

I enjoy eating nice food but will stop eating once I feel full. I do seek out nice food and snacks (make advance bookings for restaurants etc) but on the other hand will not hesitate to just graze if the food is not to my taste.

There was a period of time in my teens when I was obsessed with looking like Britney spears but even then I tried to achieve it through exercising and not by restricting my diet.

I'm a size 8 and technically underweight but I've been the same since my early teens.

No issues. Mid 40s.

Have put on a bit from 20s, but only about half a stone. Hover around same weight. BMI 21ish.

Vegetarian.

Some days skip breakfast if not hungry, some days snack, some days don't. Self regulated e.g if know have pasta for dinner, naturally eat eggs for lunch. Love homemade bread and cheese. Like chocolate and crisps but rarely overeat these. I see them void of many nutrient so consuming them often does not appeal. I like food to look vibrant.

Eat lots of veg.

Feel sluggish if eat crap.

Very active, as are my siblings. We could not afford sports as kids. Made to clear plate at home. Couldn't leave table until did. Only allowed treats on set days.

bmi of 20.6 but massive food obsession.

eat very healthily 50% of time, other 50% is pure junk eg 200g bar of cadbury in one sitting but still having all the usual meals and snacks, eating 3500 calories a day 4 or 5 days a week. 2-3 days i week i stick to 2200 which is fine for a lady of 5 ft 9

I've had a normal relationship with food until I hit 60. Then I put on weight due to hypothyroidism and developed food allergies. It's very tiresome and for once I'd love to open the fridge and eat anything I want without worrying about reactions to it! I am though a chocoholic and always have been (but have always been a normal weight till my 60s. Weight normal again now but likely due to restrictions because of food reactions! Grrrr.)

I don't have a good relationship with food. It's been quite refreshing to see others saying the same. There's so much fucked up advice on food threads from people who think there's nothing wrong with their eating habits and gloating about their children's disordered eating as well.

Never been on a diet. I was an 8/10 naturally for most of my adult life. I’m now a 12 in my 40’s and perfectly content. I am conscious that for health reasons I will need to keep an eye though now.

I’ve always eaten a varied diet, some processed crap and some very healthy. I do tend to balance out but peri is definitely against me now. So I may have to do a bit more curbing.
I was fortunate to not gain weight during pregnancy apart from baby and fluids etc and breastfed for over 2 years. That was bliss as could eat whatever I wanted. Alas that time is over!

I have what I think is a normal relationship with food. I don’t think about it at all until I get that hunger signal from my stomach and then I think ‘oh I’d better eat something’. That never happens before 10am. I get up at 6 and have a coffee, eat breakfast at 10 then don’t think about food at all I just get on with my day until about 1 when I get that feeling in my stomach again. I’ll have lunch then I’ll eat dinner around 5. I never feel hungry between meals or early morning or late night.

I don’t feel ‘emotions’ around food it’s a totally physical response when I eat and I don’t crave sugar or fancy food between meals.

Im 8st 10 and 5ft 4 and 45.

I also have never owned scales. I don’t like the idea of weighing myself. I couldn’t tell you what I weigh. I didn’t weigh DD either after 6 weeks.
My parents were relaxed about food but moderately healthy. I am trying to emulate with DD. She gets served balanced meals with occasional crap. Some days she eats everything, others she exists on yoghurt. I don’t fret, she has sugar and salt and processed food but not all the time. I cook from scratch some of the time but not obsessively. We do buy more expensive high quality food a lot of the time though as our budget isn’t all that tight.

I have no idea if my relationship with food is good or bad. I pretty much eat what I want. Sometimes I eat a lot, other days, I don't have all that much. It all depends on how hungry I am. Sometimes I fancy chicken or fish and veg, at other times I'll want curry or pizza. I am capable of eating a large Dominos or a 100g bar of choc in one sitting if inclined. I don't stick to traditional meal times either, I just eat when I am hungry.

I don't think about food much and don't really find any 'comfort' in it apart from the obvious hunger relief. A 'treat' to me is a cup of coffee and a nice, quiet sit down.

Having said all this, I'm an ex-addict (not food) and have had addictive behaviours 'therapied' out of me. I'm also lanky. I'm fully aware things might be different if I was short/stout and/or hadn't had effective therapy.

I think I have a normal relationship with food but I do some counting and make some choices, albeit not many and not very restrictive ones.

I have a very narrow weight goal owing to the sport I do and as I've got older keeping inside that bracket requires a bit more thought.

I do lots of exercise and basically eat what I want when I want, and am often thinking about food. If for whatever reason I can't exercise (injury or too busy/other commitments) for any extended period of time I find that my appetite takes a dive.

I've never ever been a comfort eater. I tend towards having no appetite if I'm unhappy or stressed. I can't eat if I'm not enjoying it

Who are you to decide what is normal?
I count and track what I eat sometimes, but I still have a normal relationship with food.

I too had to clear my plate before getting a pud, sadly my mum was the worst cook in the world ever and I didn't care about pud.
So I rarely cleared my plate, and didn't get much of a sweet tooth.

You would think her cooking would give me some kind of eating disorder, but I had school dinners which were by comparison a la carte. And my gran who could cook, normal, simple but tasty food.

I'd be really interested to know those of you that have a healthy relationship with food and haven't had huge weight fluctuations your whole life- how was food tackled by your parents? I was always brought up to finish a plate or no dessert etc., which is very different to advice given to us parents now

I grew up in late 70’s early 80’s and the way we ate at home and school was very different to the way children eat today. There were no ready made / processed foods, everything was cooked fresh at meal times. There weren’t really any snacks. Certainly not during the week and definitely no snack time mid morning at school. Maybe a packet of crisps watching Saturday morning telly.

Food just wasn’t as featured in our lives via the media / check outs at shops / diet & cookery programmes etc. There were no famous fad diets / insta body pics etc. Food just happened at meal times and you just got on with the rest of your life if that makes sense.

That was the main approach as I see it anyway.

At school we had to eat everything or we weren't allowed to leave the table. I suppose you could have really dug your heels in and held out until after break finished but I don't remember anyone doing this. We had a good dinner lady though and the food was mostly fine

At home you had dessert whether you wanted it or not.

Yes I do! Weight fluctuates between 9 and 9.5 stone. I’m a size 10 or 12 (obviously apart from when I’ve been pregnant 3 times). I would say 9.5 is my comfortable weight, can eat what I fancy and exercise lightly. 9 stone is when I’m watching what I eat more and train more. I’ve never “dieted”. I have had periods of eating less rubbish but never cut out food group etc.

I am very active on a daily basis which helps i think and my mum was slim and she ate like a horse! I love food but think I do self regulate without really thinking about it. If I had a massive takeaway one night the next night I would have something pretty healthy

Eh, I feel like its getting closer to normal now, but didn't used to be. I had a pretty bad struggle with anorexia in my early teen years, It wasn't easy but I managed to recover and eat healthily and even have quite a big appetite as an adult, eliminating animal products really helped with this personally but I respect it has the opposite effect for some people. Since I've been pregnant it's been difficult tho, I've totally lost my appetite and I feel like I'm just forcing myself to eat all the time and not enjoying it at all, I'm hoping this will ease off soon tho 😅

No. But it's improving. Had a bit of a wake up call recently when got chastised by the doctor for high cholesterol. Realised I needed to change my mentality towards food. Have cut out snacking, am sticking to 3 balanced meals a day. My only vice is a daily can of Diet Coke.

Not being a slave to the scales but, judging by my clothes, I've lost about half a dress size in the past fortnight. So all those additional snacking calories were clearly adding up.

*I'd be really interested to know those of you that have a healthy relationship with food and haven't had huge weight fluctuations your whole life- how was food tackled by your parents? I was always brought up to finish a plate or no dessert etc., which is very different to advice given to us parents now
*
Actually I was brought up to finish plate of food but it wasn't a huge plate, and we always had a pudding such as homemade rice pudding or fruit with cream. It was very unprocessed food. I wasn't brought up with a big snacking culture, we were taught it's good to be hungry before dinner. If I was really really hungry between meals it would be a piece of fruit or a small bit of cheese.

This is in the 90s.

Very interesting thread. I’ve always had a reasonably healthy relationship with food and like some others upthread I like veg so that helps. I don’t ban anything but try to apply the plate model of half veg quarter protein quarter carb since an adult. Moderation in anything but I do hoard food. Not for eating but for keeping 😂 I experienced two different households growing up and they were complete opposites. One where you plate yourself but you eat what you take. No pudding midweek and rarely at weekends. One where it was plated up and you finish or sit until bedtime. Still think of that stewed spinach sometimes!!

My relationship with food is pretty effed up. I definitely binge eat and have cravings. I am over weight. I am trying to count calories and cut back at the moment. I ate all my calories by about 2pm today, and now I'm fantasising about all the food until I can eat again tomorrow. It's pretty crap

I have a bad relationship with food, I think about it a lot and see it as a treat or something to restrict.

I have a terrible sweet tooth and can eat sharing packs of sweets to myself. Sweeties are my downfall but I don't have any fillings. Strange!!

I either track my calories in an app or just keep a rough note. I have tried many diet pills and LOVE the saxenda pen because that's the only time I don't think about food.

I am 8st 9 and feel fat all the time - even when I was 7st 13 I didn't feel slim.

I eat healthy meals mostly but damn those sweets!

Yes I do. I'm 5'5 and fluctuate between 9 and 9.5 stone. I'm a size 8-10. I don't do much exercise aside from walking (I do try to do 10k steps a day) and a weekly yoga class. I'm 44.
But...from the age of 17 to about 23 I had an eating disorder. I counted calories (limited myself to around 1200) and obsessively exercised. Somehow I managed to 'snap out of it' alone. That whole period ruined my university years and put me in a mindset of not wanting to think about food at all so I genuinely eat what I want when I want, let DH cook evening meals and take a bit of a passive approach to anything food related.
It does mean I often eat unhealthy options as I'll forget to eat breakfast then reach for something sugary etc but I prefer that than trying to be too structured with my eating incase I fall into obsessive patterns again

Wow so many responses on this thread thank you all so much for sharing!

Really sad to see so many of us don't have the best relationship with food, but also really interesting to hear from normal eaters.

I wonder how much of it is driven by childhood and how much dieting has influenced these issues...