To ask if you have a normal relationship with food?

[Miajk]

And if so, what is your weight like, have you ever dieted? How often do you think about food, do you only eat when hungry and stop when full?

By normal I mean: no counting/tracking, no excluding food groups (unless for allergy or other health reasons), etc.

Great question. Not normal at all here. But I'm interested in the answers.

I am secretly aware that I have disordered eating and have struggled probably for about 10 years on and off. I think it's all about control and I see myself as emotionally strong when I eat very little. A part of me wants to sort it and the other part of me doesn't want to as I'm scared I'll gain weight (which I probably need to). It doesn't interfere too much with my life, it's like a thing I do which is just mine.

I know this is odd but it's just how I think. I do sometimes wonder if anyone else does this!

I have ADHD too and a very disordered relationship with food. When I was younger I went through phases of bulimia and restricting but now mostly I just binge eat. Crazy amounts.

The only time when I had a reasonably healthy relationship with food was for a few years as a teenager after I'd moved country (before the eating disorder raised its ugly head again in the form of bulimia) and later when I was on stimulants after being diagnosed with ADHD.

I'm so jealous. I wish I was like that. For me food has never been about nutrition or even pleasure. I don't even know what it's like to feel hunger and I don't eat because of appetite or because it tastes good. I eat because I want to stuff myself.

I think you're right, obsessing about calories etc isn't healthy. But it isn't always about the food itself, the issue can be so much more than about the food.

I think it's one of those things that can be difficult to understand

I am a recovered anorexic and bulimic. I have the most normal relationship with food I have ever had in that I know longer view food as entertainment or punishment anymore but I do still consciously think about what I am consuming - I don't snack and I don't eat sugar.

I do not have a normal relationship with my body though. I hate it. I have hated it at 6 stone, I have hated it at 11 stone. I think cracking that nut is harder than cracking the food issue. Food isn't the actual problem, it's the way see their bodies in relation to food that is the problem.

When I read about people eating 3 meals a day and snacks I want to cry!
I have one or two meals, no snacks and fast from 6pm - lunchtime the next day and exercise 5 days a week
That's to lose 1lb a week, if that. Most weeks I maintain or lose 0.5lbs

Yes I think I have a healthy relationship with food. Never dieted or calorie counted, and never owned scales. I judge by my clothes and how I feel, and will then make small adjustments such as reducing carbs or less alcohol.
I tend to avoid having 'unhealthy' food in the house which helps, and plan out my meals each day so I don't make hungry decisions.

I have a good relationship with food - have been a petite size 8 all my life and never dieted - but have been aware of my metabolism changing as I've got older, and have been interested in food, nutrition and health for a long time so have changed my eating patterns slightly as a result. But I have always enjoyed home cooking, not really loved fast food, and had instinctive portion control - no one around me growing up ever had or gave out huge portions of anything, you had a serving, could maybe have seconds if available, and there might be a serving of pudding - but everything shared among the family as we all ate together most of the time, so no option or expectation for a eg a big slice of cake or ice cream or something. No family culture of snacking particularly - maybe a slice of cake at teatime if people were over, but then pudding after dinner would be fruit, so it balanced out. I am similar with my teens now and hope they will grow up with healthy relationships with food too. My oldest DD is 16 and seems to be doing fine, she recognises that a poor diet makes her feel less well and comes back from sleepovers etc saying she 'needs to eat something nutritious!' She's a healthy weight, eats sensibly most of the time and enjoys her food, as well as indulging in normal teenage treats.

As a teenager I ate a lot more than I do now - had a fast metabolism and would feel faint and sick if I didn't eat fairly regularly - so as a student would have a toastie or cereal or similar in the evening. Now in perimenopause I find I don't need the extra but I also don't fancy it either! If I feel hungry I will usually have something, but I don't mind feeling a bit hungry and often I actually like it because I am anticipating my next meal. In reality however hungry I am I can't manage massive portions. Also if we go out for dinner I am rarely hungry next morning, and if I go out for lunch or have a cafe slice of cake or a scone in the afternoon I might have nothing but soup or even nothing at all for dinner later. That's not me depriving myself, I just don't feel hungry or that I need it. Even things I occasionally crave I often only need a taste of to feel satisfied.

I actively seek out nutritionally dense food and avoid processed foods for the health benefits (eg microbiome) and enjoy eating it - I love full-fat cheese, double cream, butter, eggs, red meat, all vegetables - in fact I think I like pretty much everything with the exception of liver.

I have a normal relationship with food. I dieted for a little while before my wedding, not because I wanted to be slimmer but because I was between sizes for the wedding dress I wanted, and it was a design that wouldn't have been able to be taken in by enough had I sized up.
My weight puts me at the bottom end of the healthy BMI range.
I eat when I'm hungry and stop as soon as I get full, but I eat whatever I want without worrying.

No.
Fed on Chocolate (kit kat, penguins etc) or crisps (monster much, wotsits etc) for breakfast then a pasty or sausage rolls for lunch, stodgy or greasy tea as a child. Fish n Chips twice a week.
Was a size 14 at 14...never been that thin (!) since.
My only way of losing weight it to not eat at all.

Oh, and now...food is something I just end up having to have every couple of days to stop me falling over.

I think I have a fairly healthy relationship with food. Grew up with a mother who cooked from scratch and we always ate round a table. I have a weakness for crisps and chips and could eat them everyday but I don't because they're not good for me. Like good food but not a foodie. As I've got older (now mid forties) am much more interested in giving my body what it needs. I'm often hungry as I have a quick metabolism but my weight has stayed within about half a stone ever since I was a teenager; I am 5 foot 2 and generally weigh from 7 and 3/4 stones to 8 stone at my heaviest. I have never dieted. I am an ectomorphic body shape, so all skinny limbs. No arse, not much boobs either. If I do put weight on, it's straight to stomach and face. Like a bloke 😒.

As far as I know yes.

I've never consciously dieted and eat what I like when I like and my dress size has remained a consistent 10/12 all my adult life.

I've never had a big appetite and I find full plates of food quite off putting which means I am full pretty quickly. I took quite a lot of flak on here recently when I said that I would only want to eat 2 fish fingers as part of a meal but that really is enough for me along with the infamous salad and vegetables. I may have some crisps later though with a glass of wine.

Like a PP if I have cake or something in the afternoon or have a proper meal for lunch I will often not be hungry in the evening and settle for a slice of toast or that other hated Mumsnet quantity - a half tin of soup!

Yes I do. Eat when full, stop when sated. Don’t have restrictions or attribute morality to food ( no ‘good’ or ‘bad foods’.)

I had to train myself to do this though when overcoming disorder eating.

i have succeeded though and for over 20 years now I have had a normal, relaxed attitude to food.

Oh and I have a healthy bmi too.

No sadly I'm obsessed with food. It's the first thing I think of when I wake up and one of the last things I think about at night. I'm obese and love food. I'm an ex smoker and am on several medications of which one of the side effects is an increase in appetite.

I do. Never dieted and always been a healthy weight. I don’t own scales or even think about my weight or calories. I love food but only think about it while I’m eating. Don’t really want snacks. I eat a few packets of crisps a week but no other snacks.

it must be so hard for people to have food take up a lot of their mental energy.

The advert above this post is for Pringles

Fuck no. When I moved out of my parents house over a decade ago, my way of eating evolved to something completely different. My body changed. I look good now. Every time I go to see my mum and dad, I panic (!), because I know what sort of food they're going to serve- the one that makes me fat, bloated and gives me heartburn. TBH, I blame my mother, because my sister has fucked up relationship with food too. She feels guilty every time she eats something unhealthy, because my mum (despite serving all the sugar and trans fats), was always the first one to ask "Are you sure you want to eat this biscuit?" 😡

Yes I would say so. I've only ever done one extreme diet many moons ago but more recently have tried 5:2 which worked quite well. I've never excluded any food group.
I'm in my 60s now and definitely heavier than I used to be pre menopause despite exercising regularly and not over eating. I definitely can't eat as much as I like or as much as I used to without putting on weight. I'm a 12-14 and ok with that though I could do with losing about half a stone but I find that very difficult to do these days.

Yes totally healthy - eat what I want when I want. Don’t over eat or under eat. Never been overweight though … naturally slim and would need to massively over eat to be otherwise. I’m so grateful as I can see my kids are the same with food. I also try to encourage healthy eating but I do let them have treats and cake as I love cake myself!

I have a good, but complicated, relationship I think.

Generally: I love food, just for what it is - how things taste, how they make you feel; I really take proper pleasure in it. I eat pretty well - 2 meals per day plus sometimes snacks plus lots of water/etc. Over time I've learned how food makes me feel, physiologically - so, no carbs meals at lunchtime because I'll fall asleep an hour later; too many sweets make me feel nausous. I tend towards proteins and veggies and some fats, though definitely more in love with pasta and potatoes during winter.

I do have an incredibly sweet tooth which I try to temper - if I have sweets or cake in the house I will hoover them down; it's definitely close to sugar addiction so I keep an eye on it. I buy nice and expensive cheeses, pork pies, etc to wean me off the sugar habit, so I get a treat if I want it but in a much smaller portion (that is, I'd never eat as much cheese as I would cake).

That said: my relationship with food in early life was a fcking mess. My mother is one of those who under-eats, serves up miniscule portions of food, will eke out the last tiniest amounts of food/eat food that is completely out of date, weight-shames me (together with its evil sibling - 'are you exercising at the moment?'), thinks that processed and fast food are the devil. Deeply embarrassing big family Christmases when mum - having shooed everyone out of the kitchen - would serve up about half the amount of food needed for a regular meal, let alone for a big festive bash.

So when I left home, I ate everything and it took me years to undo that. When I'm sad, my first instinct is to binge the processed food - tins of ravioli, packets of Mr Kiplings - that would never be allowed in my parents' house; though I keep those urges in check these days. When I stay with my parents now I always take an extra bag of food, hidden in our bedroom, to last the stay. Even though I mostly don't over-eat, I do over-buy - lots of panic about possibly running out of food at home; and when I host for people, I always over-cater.

Someone asked earlier 'why get so hung up on food?', and I think it's because food has so much meaning and emotion associated with it. I am so wary of the whole 'we only have home-made food in our house!' thing as a proxy for eating well and healthily because you know what? My mum also only served up home-made food, cooked from scratch, and it barely touched the sides.

I love food, love cooking and creating amazing healthy things but my relationship with it is disordered. I binge eat (not junk food but it's still bingeing), take opportunities to eat alone rather than with others, and also binge exercise to deal with it. I just about maintain a healthy weight (highest healthy BMI for my height). It's just about under control but honestly I would love to have therapy and deal with it somehow.

Mothers have a lot to answer for!

Mine was always dieting and jumped on the scales several times a day, while over feeding us kids.

I am now naturally greedy and don't have a good relationship with food.

For all of my life I've been overweight (between one and three stone). I've only managed to change this in the last few years by fasting every week and doing lots of exercise (around 10 hours a week).

I eat twice a day, but big meals and then have fruit for pudding. At the weekends I enjoy wine, chocolate and take always.

I'm now early sixties and my BMI is 24.

I eat to appetite, I have no 'emotional' relationship with food, but I gain 7lb every 6 months if I eat what I like. I managed to stabilise by eating a bit less than I wanted to, but was then diagnosed with type 2 diabetes (asymptomatic).
That gave me the kick up the backside I needed; I went low carb, don't really miss a lot of it (bread, rice, pasta), didn't like cake much anyway, and now I'm in remission.
So, I do 'track' but that's just to keep an eye on carb intake for medical reasons. I regard my relationship with food as pretty normal!