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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this unforgivable

65 replies

GreenCurt · 27/11/2022 15:35

Name changed but regular poster

Recently had a gender reveal, organised by my SIL, at their house.

Only my in-laws were there, (I had a separate reveal with my family)

Not such a fan of gender reveals etc and never had them for my previous DCs but we like a family get together and SIL said she would love to host.

Anyway, MIL arrived, stayed for around 15 mins after we all said hi etc, then got into a little heated discussion with her own daughter about something unrelated (not with my SIL who was hosting but another SIL), she then left, before we did the reveal, literally just stormed out and drove home!

She didn't even do a follow up call to say congratulations on the sex of the baby or acknowledge anything. My DH was quite upset that his mum did that, I've not gotten over it, but he has but I've and not spoken to her since. AIBU?

Just need some thoughts about it really

OP posts:
DinaofCloud9 · 27/11/2022 15:36

I don't think it's unforgivable. Sounds like she was childish but not really a big deal.

Pleasecreateausername13 · 27/11/2022 15:38

Yeah I don’t agree it’s unforgivable. Bit annoying but you’ve said yourself the reveal wasn’t a big deal.
Draw a line under it and move on.

RandomMusings7 · 27/11/2022 15:39

A bit rude, but nowhere near unforgivable...

Changingplace · 27/11/2022 15:40

Why on earth would that be unforgivable, don’t be silly.

By your own admission you’re not even that bothered about the concept of a gender reveal, none of this is worth a second thought.

NuffSaidSam · 27/11/2022 15:40

I'd it unforgivable that she left a gender reveal early? Erm....no.

neverbeenskiing · 27/11/2022 15:43

She didn't even do a follow up call to say congratulations on the sex of the baby

I would find it really odd if someone congratulated me on the sex of my unborn child to be honest.

I don't think leaving a family gathering early is "unforgivable", no. It's a bit rude.

Sparkletastic · 27/11/2022 15:44

You are overreacting.

Original poster
GreenCurt · 27/11/2022 15:45

Ok maybe not "unforgivable" as such, but if my mum did that to us I would be mortified, I suppose I'm just pissed off about it, not sure if pregnancy hormones are to play so just wanted some opinions

OP posts:
RandomMusings7 · 27/11/2022 15:45

neverbeenskiing · 27/11/2022 15:43

She didn't even do a follow up call to say congratulations on the sex of the baby

I would find it really odd if someone congratulated me on the sex of my unborn child to be honest.

I don't think leaving a family gathering early is "unforgivable", no. It's a bit rude.

Good point... how can you congratulate someone on producing a girl? Or a boy?

It would be your husband's achievement not yours anyway... weird...

Fluffygoon · 27/11/2022 15:45

Not unforgivable but rude and childish nevertheless. Is she usually like this? Can you get DH to call and point out everyone was gathered and it was disappointing she left early?

Newlifestartingatlast · 27/11/2022 15:45

gender Reveal? Fgs stop with the word gender…it is revealing the sex of your baby ..
if you believe in gender - then it’s all in how you feel, so how the bloody hell do you know your baby feels male or female.

no wonder your MIL left - if it was my DIL doing a gender reveal she’d be told asked if she actually means sex reveal..and if she kept on with the gender , I’d have bloody no5 gone in first place, let alone stormed out,.

maybe you can ask her back to share the sex of your baby with her

and don’t be such a twat- you can forgive anything or nothing..it’s up to you. But if you go for your life dragging ball and chain of anger over something as minor like this and not “forgiving” that’s up to you- but anger at this level will eat away at you. That’s actually what forgiving is- letting go. It is not the same as forgetting. It requires no action or involvement for MIL- it is something you do for yourself.

🤷🏼‍♀️🤦‍♀️

monsteronahill · 27/11/2022 15:46

Childish, but not unforgivable. Why would you want to be congratulated on a gender reveal if they aren't really your thing anyway? Honestly quite a non event.

BotterMon · 27/11/2022 15:47

Gender reveals are unforgiveable.

PeachyPears · 27/11/2022 15:47

She was rude, childish and a bit of a dick but not unforgivable

she made herself look foolish so that’s a natural consequence

RNBrie · 27/11/2022 15:47

Do you know what they fell out about and has anyone checked she's OK? It sounds like she was really upset and I'd be quite worried if my mil felt she had to leave...

girlmom21 · 27/11/2022 15:47

Why would you congratulate someone on the sex of their baby? Confused

You didn't even want a reveal, apparently, even though you also did one with your own family.

It's not pregnancy hormones. It's just you wanting to be the centre of attention when it's not a big deal for other people.

QuizzlyBears · 27/11/2022 15:48

You didn’t want a gender reveal as you’re not into them but you’re mad she didn’t congratulate you on the sex of the baby….right.

RealBecca · 27/11/2022 15:48

I think you're overreacting, especially as you already know the sex so it's not like she ruined a big moment, she just had a strop at a party.

ItsButters · 27/11/2022 15:49

BotterMon · 27/11/2022 15:47

Gender reveals are unforgiveable.

Agreed.

Dishwashersaurous · 27/11/2022 15:49

What was she upset about? Is she ok

Bumzoo · 27/11/2022 15:49

BotterMon · 27/11/2022 15:47

Gender reveals are unforgiveable.

Yes. This.

DuplicateUserName · 27/11/2022 15:50

Not such a fan of gender reveals etc and never had them for my previous DCs but we like a family get together and SIL said she would love to host.

Christ, I've just read on a different thread someone saying they're not a fan of baby showers but someone else insisted 🙄

She was a bit childish but so are gender (sex) reveals tbh.

thelobsterquadrille · 27/11/2022 15:50

It's a bit rude but hardly unforgivable.

If my MIL was so upset she left suddenly, I'd be more concerned about checking that she was okay than a congratulatory phone call about the sex of my unborn baby.

Hillrunning · 27/11/2022 15:54

She was so upset by an argument with her daughter that she left and you are making this about how pissed off you are?

Who cares, you dragged people out to 'reveal' the sex of your child. A pointless task.

EmilyGilmoresSass · 27/11/2022 15:55

GreenCurt · 27/11/2022 15:35

Name changed but regular poster

Recently had a gender reveal, organised by my SIL, at their house.

Only my in-laws were there, (I had a separate reveal with my family)

Not such a fan of gender reveals etc and never had them for my previous DCs but we like a family get together and SIL said she would love to host.

Anyway, MIL arrived, stayed for around 15 mins after we all said hi etc, then got into a little heated discussion with her own daughter about something unrelated (not with my SIL who was hosting but another SIL), she then left, before we did the reveal, literally just stormed out and drove home!

She didn't even do a follow up call to say congratulations on the sex of the baby or acknowledge anything. My DH was quite upset that his mum did that, I've not gotten over it, but he has but I've and not spoken to her since. AIBU?

Just need some thoughts about it really

Not such a fan of gender reveals etc and never had them for my previous DCs but we like a family get together and SIL said she would love to host.

Just curious, if you aren't a fan then why have two?