To steer DS away from rugby?

[Oldjumper]

DS is 10 and plays contact rugby for local club.
He loves it and is good-fast, strategic and tackles well.
But he is the smallest in his team and when up against big lads from other teams I worry he will get very hurt. They don’t put them in positions for another couple of years so he can easily be up against someone twice his size and he will go in for the tackle regardless of the size of his opponent.

On the other hand it’s great exercise and the teamwork is incredible. It comes with a good social life (although I also worry about the excessive alcohol culture in a few years time!)

Especially with the sad news stories about Doddie Weir & Rob Burrows and the increase in the chance of neurological issues in rugby players (albeit professional ones not junior club players!). It makes me wonder if I am doing the right thing in encouraging him and whether I should steer him towards concentrating on his other sports.

YANBU - especially with how long it takes ambulances to come these days. Encourage him in other directions and he will learn teamwork and find a tribe etc there

I worry about this too. My son plays U10s and it’s getting rough and that’s only going to get worse. I mean how much protection can a head guard and gum shield actually give?

It’s such a shame because I find it a much nicer culture than football. The parents don’t think they’re watching a World Cup game, the club is so inclusive and caring of all of its players not just the most talented.

If he enjoys it and he has a talent, let him stick with it.

There is the risk of injury sure, but that’s true of any athletic sport.

The head trauma aspect is more of a concern granted, but it’s something that is now taken very seriously - it’s just a shame it’s taken some very high profile sufferers to get the focus that it lacked.

Get him to take up rowing instead if that is an option.

This. A friend was luckily at the match when her son had a head injury and was able to take him to hospital. They were quoted 7 hours for an ambulance. He's 12.

My son has just started tag rugby and it has crossed my mind, but I was brought up around the culture and saw how much my dad loved it, the club was a great community and did lots of family events. If he's going to go down the team sports route, I'd rather rugby than football, personally.

Is he playing Union or League? My son used to play Union he is small but super fast. A few knowledgeable rugby folk told us to get him playing League instead and he does seem to get tackled a lot less frequently and the tackles don't seem as brutal. Anyway it all ended when he had to chose between rugby and swimming so never got to see how it would have gone in the long run.

He’s playing union. I don’t think there are any league teams around us but it’s worth considering.

YANBU. My dp played rugby in school and loved it but he always says he wouldn’t encourage dc and would steer them away from it because of all the brain injury stuff that has come out in recent years.

If he's small, he'll just end up as a cox rather than a rower. Fine if that's what he wants but many find it difficult to deal with something outside their control (i.e. their height/size) blocking them from progressing.

I think in 10 years time rugby in its current format will be a thing of the past.

Urgh this may well be us in a few years... My son is absolutely loving playing for under 7s. It's a great culture - totally supportive and inclusive like a PP said, really encouraging and positive and healthy. But I worry when I see the older kids, it looks dangerous! Luckily my son has no natural talent so may drift towards something else, but I can see why you are worried

For me rugby is the double whammy - the risk of head injury causing brain damage and also the risk of life changing spinal injury. We had a spate of schoolboy spinal injuries from rugby in Australia a couple of years ago. One of them is a boy who lives near us who became a quadriplegic at 16. My DS’s school pushes rugby hard for anyone who is remotely sporty but we just told him it’s not an option. He plays football instead.

It is a different game to even 10 years ago by all accounts (I’ve only really been interested since he started) so you might be right.
His club offer have a touch session for 17+ So maybe things are changing.

Please don't wrap up your child in cotton wool - how does that help him? Imagine the bullying he would get because his mummy won't let him play?

My nephews played rugby from being very young, & right thru 6th Form and they loved it. Not only did they keep fit, but they learnt a huge amount about teamwork, respect, and good behaviour. They both actually have had more injuries (some leading to surgery) from soccer. Sometimes people need to be allowed to take risks....

I think the point is that the risk from playing rugby are very different from playing other team sports.

I think if your ds loves it, he loves it and you support him with your heart in your mouth. If he can be persuaded to other things that he loves, all the better to be honest.

My sons have both started recently. Dh grew up playing and he says the training and matches are very different to when he was young, way more structured and professional. I think the youth players are better protected. Professional rugby players now are absolutely huge and I'm sure that contributes massively to injuries. It's not likely he'll get to that level. If he's at a good club and he enjoys it I'd keep it up, there are so many risks in life and if he turns away from rugby you don't know what negative things he'll get involved in.

I think YABU to be honest.
My son played rugby from 5-16 and only packed in due to other commitments.
My daughter plays for our local U16 girls team which I manage. Last year she was selected for the county and she's now in the England Rugby development programme.
Rugby is a fantastic sport. Yes there is an injury risk but my daughter was a high level competitive gymnast before taking up rugby and sustained far more injuries and long term I going issues from gymnastics than she's ever had from rugby.
She had a nasty concussion a year ago but the level of understanding and knowledge around that now is excellent and clubs take it very seriously.
Our rugby team and whole club is a fantastic set up. My daughter has made so many friends for life through rugby and our club is a real family affair. If children are coached correctly and taught about the risk of concussion then it is not as dangerous as many people think.
Yes there are injuries but that can happen in any sport.
I know some will disagree but that's my opinion. Far far more positives than negatives in the sport.

Yabu. It is a contact sport - but the injuries are far fewer than compared to football for instance.

Noone really gets significantly bigger than each other until about 17 anyway, so he has a long way to go before having to come up against enormous gym monsters.

Also you are facing the other team so see the tackles coming - it isn't as dangerous as you seem to think

Football is definitely not his sport!
He likes cricket but is much better at rugby.
He’d probably like rowing but as pp said his size would probably stop him progressing there too.

I wouldn’t ban him at this stage but currently I feel I do encourage him a lot-prioritising training over days out, always supporting matches and watching matches on tv etc with him. I could scale that back I guess!

or hold my nerve a couple more years and see if he naturally gets put off.

I'd let him play. My brother was the same and chose for himself when he wanted to retire because he was too slight.

I also dated 2 boys with rugby injuries at school. One broke his collarbone and one his ankle but they both loved the sport and were gutted to miss the season.

I dated a guy who played for an adult team. Again wasn't huge but loved it. If he's unlikely to pick another sport and will just game / watch TV/ sit on his phone I'd be even more inclined to encourage him.

Also league is not safer, sure there's no line outs and fewer scrums but there's a much higher average tackle rate unless you're a winger so I'd leave it with union.

Everyone I know who played regularly has now stopped because of the injuries they’ve sustained. All of them have sustained permanent damage (body stuff not brain injuries thankfully, but one has a spine issue that really limits his life)

Steer him away from it. It is very dangerous. Lots of the kids in our school do it (mine don’t) and I have seen horrible injuries. Concussion. Neck injuries. Paralysis lasting some days/weeks. Broken collar bone.

I love rugby. It’s a great sport and has a good ethos. My son played for a club and for school as did all of his friends. It’s football I’d have had a problem with his playing.

My DS (15) is a very good footballer and is being pressured by team mates and some parents to play rugby as well (DS goes to a grammar school so rugby is big). My dad was a right rugger bugger and used to bang on about rugby being a gentleman's game etc etc. His face and ears were destroyed and the behaviour at the the rugby club was appalling. I've put my foot down and said no because I don't want my beautiful boy brain damaged or mixing with the rugby wankers at the rugby club.