To steer DS away from rugby?

[Oldjumper]

DS is 10 and plays contact rugby for local club.
He loves it and is good-fast, strategic and tackles well.
But he is the smallest in his team and when up against big lads from other teams I worry he will get very hurt. They don’t put them in positions for another couple of years so he can easily be up against someone twice his size and he will go in for the tackle regardless of the size of his opponent.

On the other hand it’s great exercise and the teamwork is incredible. It comes with a good social life (although I also worry about the excessive alcohol culture in a few years time!)

Especially with the sad news stories about Doddie Weir & Rob Burrows and the increase in the chance of neurological issues in rugby players (albeit professional ones not junior club players!). It makes me wonder if I am doing the right thing in encouraging him and whether I should steer him towards concentrating on his other sports.

yanbu

rugby is great fun but what you describe sounds too risky.

my dc play tag rugby at school. is that an option?

Have you missed all the research and attention on the long term brain injuries caused by repeated minor blows to the head?

All these people who seemed fine, but were sustaining catastrophic brain injuries that have cut their lives short.

Doesn't matter how quickly you get to A&E after a given injury, it has a cumulative long term effect that we have no means to treat.

This. When the scrum collapses…

And this. MND is in the news a lot - the number of rugby players suffering from this is significantu higher than the normal background population and other sports.

Yes, dementia in footballers who head the ball but the balls are much lighter (no longer made of leather and pig’s bladder) so I wonder the association will reduce with time.

It's a hard one. One of DC played rugby from being small until about Y9 and was pretty good. The club was sociable, he made lots of friends and it was very inclusive.

Then as the boys all starting going through puberty there was a massive gap between the biggest and the smallest and he decided he didn't like getting hurt so he gave up. Whilst we loved being part of the club and the team I have to admit that I was relieved when he stopped.

Other DC played hockey so he started playing that instead (had played a bit before when he was younger). Absolutely loved it and went on to play through the different age groups and into the men's teams. Unlike rugby the men seem to keep playing right into their 50s and 60s so I'm hoping that he will have a 'sport for life' and the social life that goes with it.

Obviously there's still the risk of injury, as there is with any sport, but I wouldn't have pushed him to carry on with rugby. It used to be that rugby was a sport for all shapes and sizes but now I think it's predominantly big and heavy players and even with changes to the rules and awareness of concussion etc. the risk of serious head/spinal injuries is increased.

One of my sons played rugby to a semi professional level and jacked it in because he didn’t want to be a professional rugby player when I asked why he said they don’t earn enough and also head injury!

so there we are in the in the they make their own minds up

YANBU my eldest played for a bit on school and I strongly discouraged it. It’s a horrible sport

Honestly I don’t know how parents can get their child involved in rugby with all that’s know about the head traumas.

I’m not at all a wrap up in cotton wool parent, would be happy for them to do I think any other (that I know of) sport but in my opinion it’s really not ok to allow a young child to get started on rugby knowing that they might get really into it and the consequences of what may happen if that’s the case. My husband was a rugby player when younger, saw some horrific non head injuries so was on board with our son not participating. He’s younger than secondary school but I’m so against it that I would rather he goes to a non rugby playing secondary school.

I also believe rugby as we know it isn’t going to be around much longer.

My two kids play 6 sports between them. Rugby isn’t special, there are no skills or qualities you learn that aren’t present in other sports. All sport has risk but the risk for a broken ankle is a bit different to the risk of early onset dementia in your 50s.

Interesting that you say you are in favour of risk-taking but then you think it’s important that kids do what their friends want so they don’t stand out and get teased. Sounds pretty risk-averse to me.

Yanbu. DS isn't interested in any sports so I'm quite relieved about it...except swimming. He has fins I'm sure

YANBU. I would steer my DS away from rugby, as I would from boxing. Heading the ball in football is also a big worry.

It’s a shame if DS loves it, but it’s so risky. If my DS really wanted to try it I wouldn’t stop him, but equally we’re not introducing it via Rugby Tots etc. I have considered horse riding in future though, so maybe I’m not weighing up the risks correctly there.

Our DS played Rugby from aged 8 till his final year at Uni. Yes there were injuries, I spent quite a few hours in A&E! But it taught him so much about team work, loyalty and perseverance.

Rugbys great, I used to be a full time pro, now I’m only part time and semi-pro. My seven year old plays rugby, well, as much as a seven year old can.

I’m on the smaller side for rugby, six foot and a tight head prop, very few injuries, no concussions (not from rugby anyway) and no reduced range of movement in my shoulders.

If he enjoys rugby let him play, he might play for another year, he might for another ten, its important to embrace things you enjoy, but that also doesn’t mean they have to be a permanent fixture in your life.

YANBU

its such a rough game ds ended up with a broken ankle (this was at school) I refused to let him play anymore which he wasn’t bothered about his school thought he should get back in the pitch. Once they reach high school the boys are such different sizes you have boys at 6ft against boys who haven’t started their growth spurts it’s absolutely ridiculous

My dh played from about the age of 7 until his mid 30s. He only stopped when he tore his cruciate (horrible injury). But in his 50s he has had a hip replacement and and suffers a lot of back pain, both almost certainly caused by the wear and tear and old injuries from rugby.

Im so glad ds prefers football and running.

Two boys died playing rugby at my sons' grammar school, one had a prior heart condition and could have died during any sport but the other one simply hit his head on the floor with a tackle. I was so glad none of mine were interested in playing. There are other safer ways to learn/enjoy teamwork.

My DS suffered a head injury from rugby at age 12 and the after effects of post concussion syndrome nearly killed him. He suffered painful migraines, lethargy, insomnia and depression for almost a year. We ended up at the office of a paediatric neurologist at GOSH, who shared with us that he sees lots of children damaged from rugby.
It was hell for him and all of us that we only resolved in the end with months of expensive private therapies.
I also worked medical welfare at a high school and one day sent SEVEN boys to a&e injured.
Just my opinion I realise, but it is not a sport for children.

I love rugby and mine play but this really isn't true - there is a huge size differential at U14-U16 level, I've seen 14y olds who weigh 45kg soaking wet playing against 100Kg plus boys. Overall I think rugby has given mine an incredible experience and a very different team feeling to football (which they've played too) but it is always a bit nerve wracking now. They are really lightly built even at 15+ so I'm not sure how long they will keep playing. I wouldn't stop them but I also wouldn't force/encourage them to keep playing if they ever say they no longer love it.

Also agree that rugby in it's current form is not going to be around for much longer. Not financially viable.
Personally I don't like the culture in some of these rugby clubs either. Not mentioning specific players but I'm sure some of you will know who I mean.

Yanbu, encourage other sports. Its too risky.

Knowing what we know now I cant understand why any parent is ok with it.

My ds 19 and 17 have played rugby from age 5 , head injury is taken a lot more seriously now even from when they started. But is a higher risk sport, mine are old enough to make own choices now so I don't get a say , but its always a worry
They both played football as well and there now and not risk free either
I suppose lots of sports carry a risk , but I totally get why parents worry or don't want their child to play rugby

Yes I agree that’s not true. DS is 5 stone and some of the boys are as tall as me (10 stone) and significantly wider!

If he does continue playing into his teens I doubt he’ll be anywhere near a scrum once they start putting them in proper positions.

I won’t allow him to play at school unless I know that the teachers of his team and opponents have proper rugby coaching qualifications.

Based on my experience of attending 3 matches at Twickenham this month it is a highly misogynistic sport

Have to admit I was glad my DS was diagnosed with an issue with his leg where he was recommended to not take part in contact sports (but doesn’t impact in any other way) so had to stop playing rugby at about 12yo. He was very slight compared to his peers

Big size differences definitely
My two were always smallest on pitch but the biggest tacklers, sometimes they would be 5ft 7 stone and another 14 year old 6ft prob 10 stone
They both are a little bigger now late developers, but some of the Players especially professionals are getting artificially big almost
So the tackles and hits must be very hard