To steer DS away from rugby?

[Oldjumper]

DS is 10 and plays contact rugby for local club.
He loves it and is good-fast, strategic and tackles well.
But he is the smallest in his team and when up against big lads from other teams I worry he will get very hurt. They don’t put them in positions for another couple of years so he can easily be up against someone twice his size and he will go in for the tackle regardless of the size of his opponent.

On the other hand it’s great exercise and the teamwork is incredible. It comes with a good social life (although I also worry about the excessive alcohol culture in a few years time!)

Especially with the sad news stories about Doddie Weir & Rob Burrows and the increase in the chance of neurological issues in rugby players (albeit professional ones not junior club players!). It makes me wonder if I am doing the right thing in encouraging him and whether I should steer him towards concentrating on his other sports.

@AllAoutMe not something I have experienced all though lately tickets at twickers are so experience that not so much rugby supporters now
Womens rugby is also pretty big

YANBU. We feel the same way about this and have discouraged our boys from playing. Brain injury and degenerative illness seems to be happening to younger and younger players. The whole thing’s a health and legal timebomb and unless the RFU addresses this I doubt there’s much future for the game.

There is so much evidence about concussion, dementia and MND being higher for rugby players. I read an interesting article with a brain injury specialist who essentially said her child would play rugby over her dead body. I’ll try and find it. No way would my DC play it. Luckily they like football and netball.

My kids are primary age but I'm happy with them playing (contact) rugby. They enjoy it, and they've made lovely friends. Yes, I probably would panic a bit more about the brain injury stuff if they were looking to go professional but I hardly think playing club rugby once a week is any more likely to end in brain injury than doing anything else. Seen the stats on the number of kids that end up in a&e from the trampoline in their back garden? Yet most people still have one.

Sport is massively important in so many ways. If they have a passion don't discourage them

YANBU - my son has to play for school and it terrifies me every single game! I know those who love the sport will say I'm being melodramatic but I've seen shoulders being dislocated, bruises and broken bones on the pitch. It's never intentional which makes it somewhat scarier!

League is definitely not a softer/easier option.

Mmm. I heard an interview on the radio a few years ago with a Welsh International ex player. I think his Dad had played for Wales as well. He said that he didn't let his teenage son play, and was delighted that his interests were drama and dance. That playing at a senior level was like being in a car crash every week and under no circumstances would he allow his son to play. It has really stuck with me.

DS shot up early aged about 12 and the games staff at his very sporty school told him to try out for rugby which he did, and loved it immediately. He played throughout school and ended up in the first XV from 16 to 18. He adored playing for the school and DH, who had also played at school, supported him and was very proud.
I found it hard to watch and seldom did. He was injured aged 16, his jaw was broken in a match. (Not a fight - a collision) We took him to A and E and he had an operation, they put a metal plate in and wired his jaw. It was a tough two weeks or so until the wires came out (he likes his food) but he made a full recovery.
He stopped playing when he left school because he found the rugby club at his RG university very cliquey, and hasn't played since.
I will say it was an important, formative experience for him, he learned an immense amount from it -- teamwork and co-operation, discipline, using his strength wisely, and just having lots of fun with his team-mates. But he was injured, quite seriously, and we were lucky it wasn't worse. He wasn't concussed.
This was about 12 years ago and I hope things are better, safety-wise. (The referees at the match were very blasé about his injury when it was obvious his jaw was broken, they actually sent him home instead of calling an ambulance at the pitch.) Other lads in the team had minor injuries over the years too.
So -- it can be wonderful, but there are other considerations. I didn't find the culture too laddish, the staff kept them on a tight leash. DS was known as the sensible one and his team mates always got him to talk to the refs calmly when emotions ran high.
I wouldn't have stopped him once he got into the team especially as DH was so supportive, they really bonded over rugby. But he outgrew it eventually although he still loves the game as a supporter. Just our family's experience.

It’s incredible how quickly Capabilty changes at rugby. The physicality is a huge factor and those that might be ok aged 7-13 may be ok then suddenly find themselves overpowered by bigger players and too small to play safely due to risk of head/ neck injury . Some children become too easy to tackle and due to light weight can be thrown about which adds to safety risk. My point being it may come to a natural conclusion anyway as the physical concerns present themselves due to his small stature. I’ve seen plenty of younger boys be regarded as good players when very young only to get left behind due to size . It is a very worrisome game so I would breathe a sigh of relief if I were you as it only gets more violent, faster and risky as they get older!

I think it's a very different game at senior/professional level. DH played at school and on one occasion they had a match against a not quite professional adult team, who didn't exactly hold back against the teenagers.
It was a very sobering experience for him and he remembers it vividly.

My DS played from 5 until 13 and then stopped. I was so relieved, it can be brutal. The head injury stuff is scary, I saw coaches from his team putting boys who had had a clash of heads back on to play when they were chasing a win.
I wasn't keen on the laddish culture as well. It was fun and good exercise when he was younger and it definitely taught him lots about teamwork and being part of something but the bigger sizes and everything associated with that meant I didn't want him playing in his teenage years.
Thankfully he decided himself to give it up and I was pleased to support his decision.
He has friends still in the team who absolutely love it and im sure will play until u18's at the least. I do worry about what injuries they'll have though, especially the smaller ones.

YANBU. I chose my DSs schooling specifically so they wouldn’t play rugby. It was a key decision factor.

Never regretted it. Both DSs have always been the tallest/biggest in their year group and they would have been put in the scrum. That was a no from me. No way.

I grew up around rugby - bothers and father played to high level. So many injuries. Life’s too long to have to lug around injuries from school rugby. The size of those guys, too.

DS is 11 and just started rugby. I don't think I will ever enjoy it but he also plays as a goalie in football and I think the risk is just as high there, if not worse, same with riding his bike on the roads locally. You can't refuse to let them do anything risky.

@AndAway and did you report that to the club or rfu ? As that would of been taken very seriously . I would take my son away from a club that did that , also the laddish behaviour what do you mean
Mine have a laugh with mates but their not rude and a lot of the girls who play as it is growing quite big watch the boys and vice versa and its mixed when younger as well

At the school I used to work at, rugby injuries were very very commonplace. Some serious injuries were had. I think perhaps try and steer your DS towards football instead, it's more skilful game anyhow.

@healthadvice123 yes, absolutely reported it to the club. The coach denied it and that was the end of it. I was so disappointed, they sing from the rooftops that they're all about safety but when it came down to it, they weren't interested. It's a big part of why DS left. He saw his friend being put back on after the clash of heads and knew it was wrong and was horrified the club didn't seem to care.
I have loved rugby, made so many good friends from it and memories to last a lifetime. I've also seen the darker side of it though and ultimately am glad my own DS isn't involved anymore.

14 year olds who weighed 16 stone? I'm extremely welcome to a debate on the subject but exaggerated figures aren't helpful - let's at least have a fact based discussion and not make up numbers to try and skew the situation

Half the current England International team aren't 100kg plus

A family member is a quadriplegic requiring 24/7 care due to a rugby union incident. It was just a normal adult club game when he was 27.

My children will never play this awful sport.

YANBU. Just look at Mike Tindall. Seems like he barely has a braincell rattling around in there.

DD plays U10s/U11s. There are so many rules protecting them now and shes getting a lot of benefit from it. Due to the awareness of injury possibility, its safer than some other sports

Unfortunately, she's only got 18months left until there won't be any games for her to play on until she's 14/15 die to lack of players on girls rugby (she can only play mixed at Primary school age)

Good coaching is essential with rugby.DS has played at school and club from the age of 6. The modern game is so different with rule changes that discourage the types of injuries that were common in the past.
All sports carry an element of risk and head injuries are just as common in football as they are in rugby.
Head gear does not protect them from head injury in fact it can have the opposite effect by encouraging them to go into tackles harder. The scrum caps are to protect the head and ears from soft tissue damage in scrums. If taught well tackling rarely involves the head and poor body position while tackling is penalised in the modern game with a yellow or red card.
They learn to fall and roll and although it looks like a massive fight/pile on there are strict rules regarding how many players can get involved.
It is a bit like organised gang warfare but they all come off the field, shake hands and retire to the clubhouse/school for food and drink.
DS is now 18 and goes nightclubbing and drinking in town. I feel quite relaxed about it since his best mates play front and second row and he plays back row. There are many people who would take them on as a pack. As on the pitch, they are fiercely protective of each other, although DS does admit that he feels extra safe since he can run the fastest.

*aren’t

With what we know about CTE, I would never allow my kids to play any sport with repetitive hit on the head, even the light ones as a head shot in soccer.
I live in Australia, and the news are filled with ex players getting demented, suicidal or attacking their family in horror filled attack, like locking them in car and setting them on fire.
Watch the movie "concussion" which describes the true story on how CTE was discovered and research it a bit.
It is not about the injury on the fields, broken bones and such , it is about micro trauma, slamming into someone's back.
In the movie, there is a very visual scene, in which the doctor fills up a jar (head) with water and adds an egg (brain) to it. When you shake the jar (head) , the egg (brain) hits the glass (skull) . That's where the injury comes from, not so much from the outside blows as we all assume, the big hit causes a concussion.

In addition to CTE, there is a wide range of other neurodegenerative diseases caused by contact sport
Research published by the Journal of Neurology Neurosurgery & Psychiatry found rugby players were at a greater risk of a brain disorder, ranging from just over twice as high for dementia, three times for Parkinson's disease and up to 15 times for motor neurone disease. Even in non professionals : In this respect, it is the first demonstration that high neurodegenerative disease risk is not a phenomenon exclusive to professional athletes.

I read that a single professional game was equivalent to hitting the head against the wall 17 times.

So , have a think and consider another sport.

My DS is the stereotypical school geek - skinny, the coordination of a newborn gazelle, and can't see more than arm's length away without his glasses. I worry about him being made to play rough sports now he's at secondary school as he's just not cut out for it. He finds all the charging about and flying balls quite intimidating and he's going to end up with his glasses smashed into his face or something. He's a good (though not Olympic material or anything) swimmer though and really enjoys that regularly, with prescription goggles so he can see the pool edge coming! So I'm all in favour of encouraging gentler pursuits but it does I guess depend on the individual what is suitable for them.