To wonder why I am so scruffy

[Meeshy2]

Everybody else I know has everything in order, my house is an unorganised mess! We have random drawers in the kitchen just full of crap. I just shove things in my cupboards and I can’t seem to keep tidy. What is my problem? Things are unfinished and we don’t really have the money to get a new kitchen. It’s really getting me down.

You need to chuck stuff away. A regular booking to the tip is a thing in our house. Plus don't buy anything new to take its place

You are not scruffy you are like me bohemian! It's a superpower!

ADHD?

I’m the opposite and leave everything out, we have tidy drawers but piles on surfaces. Neither is ideal.

I think the key is having a place for everything. So you need to clear out some room.

Even Monica Gellar had a junk cupboard. Declutter

I’m like this and it’s 100% my ADHD. Piles of doom.

I watched that programme perfect housewife years ago and one thing I remember her saying was that people who have an organised house do it because they DON'T like spending time doing housework - and after a few years of being more organised I think she is right.

I used to try to tidy up but anything I picked up that didn't have a place to live got left lying around - are you like that?

Everyone would be like that if they didn't clear put regularly. I don't agree with sending usable things to the tip and make your buying habits an environmental problem. Put on marketplace for free anything usable. Don't want lots or people coning to collect just bundle together and it will be taken in minutes

Declutter - sit everyone in the family down and be clear on what your problem is. Tell them you intend to declutter the whole house one room at a time and everyone needs to be involved. Ask if they have any other ideas to solve your problem.

set a day for when declutter of room #1 will happen. You decide which room goes first. Everyone must help. Get organised in advance, get a skip/hippo bag/ car with big boot and plenty of bags/boxes whatever ready and do it. Set the criteria for what can and can’t be decluttered and make sure everyone in the family knows the criteria (give everyone a written copy)

declutter room #1.

review the process with the family, what went well, what didn’t go well and what would you all do different for room #2 declutter?

then repeat until all rooms decluttered

now get the family together and agree tidying/cleaning standards and who is responsible for doing what

I felt the same Op. I’m doing my second tip run today to clear out some space. Unusable, shit I have no reason to keep and should’ve been binned long long ago. On Wednesday I took 5 black bin bags to the tip and so far today I have 2. I’ve cleared out my 3 year old DS’s bedroom as were decorating it and I’ve cleared out 2 cupboards in my kitchen. I have a long way to go but it’s starting to really make a difference not struggling for space in toy boxes and DS’s cupboard. I keep putting it off but I need to at least get started before more stuff comes in at Christmas.

🙄 ffs. Can't anyone just be lazy or messy on Mumsnet, without being diagnosed with ADHD?

(Also awaits misdiagnosis of early onset dementia)

Is it just lack of time to deal with it all OP? I have a tidy house, because I don't work and I have the time to sort things out regularly, file things, shred out of date papers, take things to the tip or the charity shop, etc. If I worked FT our house would be a complete tip.

One room at a time
Write a list of every draw/cupboard/box and rock it off as you sort
Throw away anything not needed. - be ruthless.
Draw organisers with labels.
Once you are on top of it, never leave a room without taking something with you to put away.

Once it's sorted it pretty easy to keep on top of.

It does depend on how big your house is. People in small houses still need winter coats, boots, summer and winter clothes, bigger pots and pans for occasional use.

I must admit I am am relieved I am not alone in this. I want to change the way I love. I work 3 days a week so I should have the time.

I always wondered this then found out I have adhd (also have physical disabilities and nerve damage)
Lightbulb moment when seeing my child's scruffiness among other things
Used to spend days on the style and beauty thread trying to be more polished and presentable, never worked!

Why so scathing at a suggestion?
why are people so resistant to possible adhd diagnosis?
It's very common, would you rather people didn't find out and spend their lives living with guilt and shame for their inability to juggle everything?

Start with one room at a time and one area. The other day I spent a couple of hours in my living room. I emptied out the drawers from the sideboard and started again.

Course they can. But is anyone not allowed to question ADHD anymore because people on Mumsnet will moan? Coming from someone who has ADHD, it was a genuine question could it be ADHD....

I came here to say that too. 🤣

Mumsnet cranks at it again. Not allowed to mention ADHD and the ADHD police come out 🤣

You probably have too much stuff and not enough mental space to deal with it.

I have read a lot of decluttering/ organising books recently. The two I found most helpful were

Decluttering at the Speed of Life - Dana K White

Real Life Organizing - Cassandra Aarssen

The are online/ blog as
A Slob Comes Clean and Clutterbug.

A month later I've done 4 runs to the tip, 4 loads to the charity shop and the end is in sight. I have one room left to do. I feel physically and mentally lighter.

I'm using a slightly adapted version of the Organised Mum Method to stay on top of the daily stuff in the rooms that are done. I'm using a free app called Housy that you can set up for your own tasks and frequency.

It's not perfect yet and probably never will be, but it is massively improved. It's hard to get started, but once you get going it's easier to let go of stuff. You do have to be in the right mental space to do it though.

I have several drawers of doom all over the house, every time I attempt to sort them the majority of it goes back in.
I have a good sized porch, but so many coats and shoes, it still looks messy despite having storage as there is always an overflow.
I tidy up my hall table but in next to no time that along with the window sill accumulates bits and bobs.
I have a relative up the road and they have no porch and a tiny entrance hall, not a shoe or coat etc in site. Amazes me.

I'm the same, OP. I don't know if it's something inbuilt in me, sheer laziness or just long years of habit, but I'm seemingly incapable of having a tidy, clean house. I'd love to be able to say it's because I am so busy with work... but although I am really busy, my house still wasn't great even when I worked very part time.

The worst thing is that I'm not someone who likes bohemian clutter. I'm basically a minimalist trapped in the body/ways of a slattern . Few things make me happier than an immaculate, completely clutter-free environment, but I never actually achieve it!

A few years ago I got rid of half my clothes, 3/4 of my books, most of my accumulated sentimental mementos, all tax and financial documents older than 7 years, and nearly all the stuff I'd kept 'because it might come in handy one day'.

I've not looked back 😎