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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Denying your DH sex

80 replies

T90 · 25/11/2022 22:38

My husband goes in a massive huff with me if he’s up for sex but I’m not.

We have a 7 month old and a 3 year old. I’m running around all day with the kids, cleaning, cooking, getting the kids out and about etc. By the time I do all the dinners, clean up, do the kids bath and bed, I’m just done. Im also up every night doing all the baby’s feeds.

We have had sex every other week since the baby was born but I’m just shattered all the time. He just rolled over and fell asleep the last time we did it and I felt pretty crap if I’m honest almost the point of feeling used.

I understand his need to get close and we have a great relationship but this whole going in a huff is becoming more and more regular.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Brightstarowl · 26/11/2022 10:46

And what about YOUR need for rest? Sod his bloody needs, he couldn't even make the effort not not roll over and fall asleep!

Tell him to stop acting like a toddler who didn't get his sweets when you don't fancy a shag OP.

Your needs are just as important as his.

Januarcelebration · 26/11/2022 10:57

PrincessPoodle · 26/11/2022 09:39

Oh no. A woman. With an opinion.

Yes, you're obviously right. It was completely out of order for me to assume a human woman had given birth from her vagina and not used a surrogate. 🤔Surely the most likely situation.

Now, she may have had a C-section, yes. Do you think major abdominal surgery where they removed a bowling ball is less traumatic? Or I suppose you feel blow jobs are always available?

24 years of being a bad sexually coercive partner doesn't give you any authority to speak on relationships.

I may well be a bitch. But you sir, are a homophobic rapist.

Show quote history

You are spot on. Can not believe someone would think birth doesn’t need recovering from a c section.

It’s clear why that poster thinks labelling a rapist, a rapist is unhelpful. Men who have committed rape, often don’t like it pointed out that they are rapists. Rapists don’t like it pointing out that their actions are the issue not the women who label it correctly.

And the excuse of ‘I was a rapist but I was young and regret it’ doesn’t stop it being true. The fact that his wife doesn’t realise she is married to a rapist, doesn’t make it ok.

Just like the fact that his daughter doesn’t realise her father is a rapist and a homophobe, doesn’t mean he isn’t or that it’s ok.

1980sfookup · 26/11/2022 10:57

PrincessPoodle · 26/11/2022 06:28

Can her father not help to facilitate her being fucked when she doesn't want it, or is that solely a mother's job?

Show quote history

Fabulous point! I wish I'd have thought of that.

monsteramunch · 26/11/2022 11:05

Can not believe someone would think birth doesn’t need recovering from a c section.

Unbelievable isn't it? Jesus Christ.

Just like the fact that his daughter doesn’t realise her father is a rapist and a homophobe, doesn’t mean he isn’t or that it’s ok.

He smashed her phone up twice and blamed it on her 'late teenage drama queen' behaviour too IIRC.

Such a lovely guy.

Januarcelebration · 26/11/2022 11:14

monsteramunch · 26/11/2022 11:05

Can not believe someone would think birth doesn’t need recovering from a c section.

Unbelievable isn't it? Jesus Christ.

Just like the fact that his daughter doesn’t realise her father is a rapist and a homophobe, doesn’t mean he isn’t or that it’s ok.

He smashed her phone up twice and blamed it on her 'late teenage drama queen' behaviour too IIRC.

Such a lovely guy.

Wow. So abusing his dd as well?

His poor dd and poor wife. I wish MN had let his comment stand. So people can see the length abusers will go to abuse.

Not content with abusing his wife and daughter, he comes here to convince women they should to allow themselves to be abused.

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