Partner Xbox gaming in evening when I want to relax

[purplehair1]

I’m working long days in a demanding job. I live in my house and my partner of 5 years has moved in with me as he has a job in my city. For context, he earns less than me and works in a job where he ends his day at 3.30. I’m rarely home before 8.
So Friday night I’m coming home at 8, hoping he might have sorted some dinner out. I call him, he’s watching football and is having ‘snacks’ for dinner. So I buy myself a ready meal and wine and get home. I have to work Saturday, he doesn’t. My son is watching Football with his mates downstairs so I sort my dinner out and go up to eat in my bedroom with my partner.
He’s playing some dull game on the Xbox he’s put in our room while watching football on his phone.
I ask (nicely I think) maybe 2 x if we could watch something which we would both like to watch. And explain I would like to relax and enjoy my evening given that I have to work tomorrow (he doesn’t). He continues to play til I get very angry (wine, okay) and turn the bloody xbox off at the wall.
Then he’s angry and puts his earphones on and sulks and refuses to talk to me.

okay I may have stolen one of his earphones and tried to talk to him about how he could have played his stupid game tomorrow while I was at work and now he’s put his old headphones on and has turned his back on me. Am I the unreasonable one?

It might be her house, but he lives there too. And I have to say, I'd probably ignore someone who tried to tell me how I was allowed to relax, switched my stuff off at the wall and then grabbed my headphones out of my ears.

In fact, if I was in his shoes, I'd leave and find somewhere else to live. That's bordering on abusive behaviour.

I also don't understand why her adult son seems to be allowed to take over the living room with no consequences, but when her partner (who is supposed to be her equal) dares to watch TV, he gets a load of shit.

OK he needs to be pulling his weight more, making you meals at least sometimes?
No he can't take over tv every jight for gaming. Watch something together or he goes elsewhere so you get tv. Bedroom is a terrible place for gaming - awful sleep hygiene he will probably have sleep problems soon if he doesn't already

Why have you moved a man into your home who doesn't get on with your DS?
The whole set up sounds unhealthy and unpleasant ... I agree with PPs .. why are your standards so low?
I cannot imagine an adult relationship where a Friday night together is spent eating in the bedroom playing on X box whilst 22 year old DS has free reign in the living room. You'd be better off renting a room from SpareRoom.com.

Your son and your partner are both pissing in the corners of all the rooms on your house, acting like twats and the only opinions they seem to care about are their own.

They can grow up or move out (preferably both).

But you also have to start communicating like an adult. Stealing headphones and drunk-truth are not helpful. Pick a neutral time, sit them both down:

"When I am come home after work and the two of you have taken over all the space and all the screens in the house, and are choosing not to be kind to each other, it makes me angry and frustrated. I need time, space and social interaction to function. This situation will not be continuing. Suggest solutions."

And a 22 yo doesn't get to take over space in a house he isn't paying for. Entitled, useless men are a bloody plague. Do the whole world a favour and have some boundaries.

Thelobster - are you the partner?

I moved in with a man like this once… got home at 3pm every day, never any housework or dinner when I got home ar 8pm, would ask me what I was making.

I lasted 6 months, moved home to my parents, bought him out the house, moved back in by myself.

I’m now married to a wonderful man who does more than his fair share and it was worth every INCH of the hassle with house with don’t lift a finger guy, even though it felt crazy at the time.

He's had hours to play before the Op got home and should have made dinner. If he eaito game all evening and have the time to himself, then he shouldn't have moved in with her.

He sounds incredibly tedious. Plus he doesn't get on with your son. I don't think it's fair on your son to have him around.

Why on earth did you move someone into your house who won't speak to your son?

That's ridiculous for everyone concerned.

He needs to move back out. Now.

He sounds like he is more hindering your life than adding any value to it. I have a strong feeling life would be easier without him around, his actions are selfish, no thought for you and actually causing you distress. Going off this post, I would bin him. What are the positives of having him in your life?

You lost me when you put your twat of a partner over your dc

Moving a gamer into your bedroom sounds like a total nightmare. Him and your unemployed son not speaking sounds like a nightmare.

Coming home to this after working long hours will impact your mental health. Time for some serious changes/house rules.

I can't see what you're getting out of this or why you're begging him to behave like a nice human. He's using you.

I think OP is entitled and abusive.

OP says he 'sulked'. Maybe he just didn't want to engage with a drunk, entitled, abusive partner?