is this unreasonable to ask of someone postpartum

[ochrietmastree]

having a section on nye. IL’s (300 miles away) have asked dh to go and visit for new year with our toddler. selling it as ‘will be nice for wife to stay home and bond with newborn’ erm?? i don’t want my toddler being 300 miles away for a start, she’s not even stayed the night at my parents down the road yet nevermind anywhere else without me as she still bfs to sleep and through night. and second i will have just been chopped open days before and dh has taken paternal leave to help out at home not to go off to visit other people? are they for f*cking real? i’m pissed off they even asked.

he replied saying unlikely but tbh i wish he’d told them to get real and use their brain for half a second before even asking

Who will cook for her? Take her DVT stockings on and off? Do any cleaning or put a load of washing in? Do any shopping? Pick up the baby from tricky angles? Stretch up to draw the blinds? Help her off the loo because she can't stand up on her own? Etc. Etc. The list goes on.

I can't believe a pp thinks it's a good idea - absolute madness!
Your partner will be there to give your other child attention when needed, no need for them to be miles away. I wouldn't have wanted him to be miles away after having either of mine, and neither were sections. After major surgery I certainly wouldn't appreciate it!

I’d be annoyed with DP’s limp responses too. Like Wtaf are they thinking? Or not thinking basically.

Are they normally so selfish/self absorbed?

They need telling it’s completely effing unreasonable what planet are they on?!!

YANBU, its a ridiculous suggestion from your in laws. My parents told me that they "strongly disapproved" of my taking painkillers after my c-section (I had foolishly mentioned that I was in pain and had been prescribed painkillers when they asked me 2 days after the birth if I'd recovered yet) because it might hurt the baby via my breastmilk and that their generation wouldn't even have taken paracetamol. Some people have no clue.

That's a ridiculous request. Of course you'll need your DH by your side for at least a few weeks. How can they not realise that?

Coupled with patio thing last time, they are totally trying to show you who's Boss in DH's world.

Now you know keep a close eye on them and never feel guilty about buying them shitty Christmas/birthday presents ever again.

Alongside how batshit it is regarding you and your recovery - they want to take your DH away from his brand new child.

They want their baby to leave his baby, that is so not on and it sounds like they totally don't think of you all as his family.

I had an emcs. Didn't drive for a week. When I did mil saw me out. She actually rang one of my dc at their place of work to say me and dh must have had a row as I was driving fast in town and I had the dc with me!!
Stirring. That what your mil is also doing op. What about dh bonding with his newborn-? helping you aside! She is deranged like my mil!