To think cheaters usually just get on happily with their lives?

[Thisisthebeginning]

When I was younger I used to always think, 'karma will get them', 'they'll really regret it' 'they'll lose a lot of respect from people' and so on.

Now with age, it's pretty clear that people who cheat usually just get on happily with their lives, most people accept the new couple, don't fall out, the couple often stay happily together, and life goes on as normal for them.

I remember when my ex cheated a few years back. His 2 good mates were pissed off at him for a while and actually supported me over him. Eventually I didn't hear from them again and they ended up becoming close friends with his new girlfriend, the woman he'd cheated with. I expected it really and knew their loyalties had lied with him.

I still think it's disgusting to cheat.

I also think there is a difference between affairs and 'exit' affairs but I'm not saying either are right...

Yes. I once read an article in the Guardian by a married woman who was having an affair with a married man. Neither of them had any desire to end their marriages. It was a having their cake and eating it thing. I would find it very difficult to stick by a friend who was doing that.

It’s because the person who is left can’t bear to think that there might be anything wrong with them, or that they might bear any responsibility at all, for the relationship not working. I’ve a friend who tells everyone her ex left a happy marriage for his new wife. In reality, they argued all the time, they didn’t want to spend any time alone (always asking people over, on holiday with them etc) and they didn’t have sex. He’s been remarried for 15 years and she is still banging on about it.

It's 2 separate things - problems in the marriage, which he should have spoken to dw about or left her, and then carrying on with someone else behind dw back. One of the things not said is how long the person is carrying on for - one of my friends exh was with the OW for 2 years- I mean there's no excuse for that is there, if you're not happy then leave. If it was a month or so I'd find that easier to forgive someone, but otherwise you're just deceiving the spouse and living a lie.

The Guardian is full of “journalists” writing about their affairs. The one I’m thinking of was the perpetrator of two affairs with married men while she too was married. Despite destroying the lives of their wives and her children, she remains the victim! It really is cheap page filler - every way you look at it!

I forgot to mention that affair 1 found out about affair 2, so affair 1 exposed both her affairs to her husband and let’s just say, this was the start of a fair toxic journey I bet the wishes she never embarked upon.

I think she really have to consider the potential worst case scenarios if you’re thinking about having an affair. They rarely end well.

Definitely. My ex cheated on every person he’s been with. He’s now happily in another relationship.

The first guy I dated and was engaged to cheated on me after four years together. He’s been married to the woman he cheated with for over 30 years. I’m still single after being cheated on multiple times. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I’ve never cheated, but I’m glad that my other mistakes haven’t completely ruined every aspect of my life forever.

It would be a bold soul who truly welcomed what they deserve for their every failure.

I agree with you OP. My ex husband is still with the 'other woman' years later, as was his father before him.

Women I know who had exit affairs are doing well. The ex's were devastated, but both moved on. Women can be just as narcissistic as men and come up smelling of roses too. Or maybe just the ones that I know!! I seem to have known more women cheaters than male ones though , so my view might be skewed