Student house of freezing teenagers - heating on? No

[Uneek]

My DD lives in a student rental with 5 others, with rent and bills split evenly between them. A couple of them are refusing to put the heating on. When my DD has suggested having it on with the thermostat set at a low temp, one of them said she should just put another jumper on. When DD said she would buy a plug in electric heater for her bedroom, the 'put another jumper on' student said she would not pay towards the electricity for the heater as it costs more than gas.

This has turned into a competition to see how long they can go with no heating. 'Another jumper on' student even suggested seeing if they can last until Christmas!

Has anyone else come across this issue? Suggestions on how to stop a war breaking out in this house and allow them to defrost...

I agree with the electric blanket idea but she better not mention it to Scrooge or she'll be asking for money off the bill for it.
Plus a small heater for emergencies but again, don't talk about it with the others.

I dont think some posters appreciate just how skint some students are. My kids had friends at Uni who were genuinely extremely skint and these weren't students who were wasting money getting pissed etc. One of my daughters had a boyfriend who's parents were assessed as having to contribute a lot to his living costs but were either unwilling or unable to. He worked a lot of parttime jobs too. He was really nervous about money. This was a few years ago too so i imagine skint students these days might be in an even worse situation.

I was the same at uni. Little money, no heating. House was pretty much a wreck anyway so no point heating it.

Taped polythene sheets over the windows as temporary double glazing. Sealed off all the drafts. Got a sleeping bag to go to bed in. Didn't really bother me that much because I used to spend most of my time out, either in lectures/working, doing coursework or out down the pub or doing clubs/sport. When you get in half cut from the pub you've been outside walking and don't feel the cold anyway.

I would get a heated throw. They are cheap as chips to run, and if the tight people complain make sure you tot up the hours so you can offer to pay. It's better to have the data of how long you used it for than have tight people "make up" your contribution later as they see fit.

Next year either endure more of the same or find new housemates that are not skint.

The thing is I think it is a basic principlethat houses need to be heated in winter and that is part and oarcel of living there.you need to budget for energy bills and if you cannot afford that then you can't afford to live there.It is not acceptable to choose to live in a house and then decide you cant afford the bills and expect everyone else to how to your demands

I was the same, mouldy uninsulated house (thanks twat landlord), freezing cold. Unfortunately it does turn into a competition as to who isn't cold. I ended up with a secret space heater that I ran all the time, no one noticed as the bills never increased that much at all.

This same thing happened to me when I was at uni around 10 years ago, but I was apart of the ones wanting the heating to stay off, and those who wanted it on were international students from hot countries or from wealthy families.

It's a difficult situation to be in. I don't blame them for not wanting the heating on, I had to very heavily budget for uni 10 years ago and work while at uni so I can't imagine some terrible financial situations some uni students must be in now. When you're in a house with people who don't have to care about money but yet you have to split the cost of things equally it's a hard situation to be in. I very clearly remember finding that hard to navigate.

Where would you suggest they live - a tent on the high street?

Larger houses invariably work out cheaper than flats as the costs are split between more people.

This is something that is really important when you are choosing who to live with from year 2. You have to set a budget for rent and for expenses up front, and ensure everyone has agreed to it in advance.

It's a reason why many students are now choosing to live in studio's or private halls, or in two bedroom flats, much less hassle than sharing with others.

Get her an electric blanket for her bed at least. There’s nothing worse than being cold and unable to sleep.

This.

Tell her to put the heating on when she wants and simply not engage with explaining/ defending it.

You DD just has to be assertive.

I lived with a girl in my second year who did this, she'd turn down the heating and I would turn it back up. On repeat. Till I won.

I'd suggest DD finds warm places to sit and study or socialise/watch TV and spends as little time as possible in the house, and get her a heated blanket and a high tog duvet and warm PJs. I used to sit in the library or student union bar quite a lot anyway when I was at university.

I was in houses without central heating as a student and it was bloody cold and damp- I remember sleeping with so many layers on and still being cold, and never being able to hang up washing to dry as it would just stay damp. Also stupid pre-payment meters with keys and cards which it was not easy to top up. So I'd prioritise her being warm at night at least so she can have a good sleep.

Or even better - go for bills included - both my kids live in student flats where the bills are included - a bit more expensive but save on the agro.

Or maybe it's not fair to have the heating on all the time, just because you don't want to put a couple of jumpers on, imposing high heating bills on students who can't afford it. I don't think there's a right side here - the struggle is learning to compromise and seeing things from other's perspectives - it's a good life skill to develop - it seems a fair few on this thread didn't manage to pick it up.

OP this is not your fight.
A key thing for young adults to learn is conflict resolution without their mum getting involved.
At this age if my DC were bringing problems to me like this one I would be a

She is obviously concerned about causing friction and if she smuggles a heater into her bedroom her flatmates might catch on if warm air wafts out of her room when she opens the door.

Better to find an up front solution.

Amazon sell plugs which you can put onto an electrical appliance which monitor your electricity consumption. She could use one of those in her bedroom and pay an extra contribution until everyone agrees on putting the heating on. The thought of her being cosy in her room whilst they freeze their bollocks off might actually get the flat heating on sooner.

I think an electric blanket is different- she shd b able to make use of one without clearing it with flatmates.

I have distinct memories of being freezing as a student and on occasions heating myself up with a hairdryer

No we didn't get any work done, we smoked weed and listened to music, drank a lot of tea and played cards.

Buy her a portable generator/power bank thing. She can take it into university and charge it up in the library or somewhere, then she can bring it home and plug in an electric heater for "free" (to her) energy. I'm talking about the sort of thing intended for camping, they have the standard 3 pin plug socket.

Part of conflict resolution is the longer term impact. Some of the suggestions on this thread might mean the DC is warm, but could lead to her being totally ostracised by her housemates.

I had a uni housemate like this in the 90s, so my grandad gave me a calor gas heater. I still have one now, and am sitting here wfh toasty and warm, without adding to the heating bill for the house as no-one else is in all day. Yes I have to refill the gas occasionally, but it's a set cost, and we don't have to worry that the heating bill is creeping up by an unknown amount.
Electric heaters are expensive to run, and then the cost would be borne by your DD's housemates who have shivered through the winter to save cash. Getting her one to keep in her room without telling them would be a shitty thing to do.

I was recently discussing this with my best friend who I met at uni. Cost of living going up and both feeling like uni students. Neither of us could work out how we’d survive the winters with barely any heating on when we were both freezing in September this year.

In my first year the Cold War started as an international student had put on (two?!) electric heaters on in his room. Our electric bill doubled and we were all furious.

I remember in second year absolutely freezing and as we had top up gas/electric our bills were ridiculous. I think we had a rule of if the got below a certain temperature (I remember being able to see my breath) for a whole week we would have three evenings that we’d have the heating on for a few hours. I think we all had heated blankets that were a life saver. We spent a lot of time in the library/on campus but occasionally if I was freezing and couldn’t be bothered to go to the library I’d cook a jacket potato and sit in the warm kitchen (wouldn’t dare do that with those housemates!)

I was talking to my uni friend and she agreed that she’s having a different view to heating/cost of living to her DP (no uni). My DP will complain that it’s cold but he’s in summer PJs and no socks. If I’m in a thermal top with a two jumpers with two pairs of socks on then it’s cold.

Do the jumper brigade have a point? Is your DD in layers? This is a learning curve for your DD, uni isn’t just about learning course content it’s about learning to deal with people. The amount of house meetings I was involved in, some were productive, some we came up with solutions that weren’t the greatest, some housemates I couldn’t wait to move away from but we all survived.

As a mum you can’t get involved, your DD needs to talk to others in the house to gauge their opinions/view. An electric heater and she’ll be classed as a traitor and quickly made an outcast. Heated blankets are generally seen as ok but so is dressed ugly in the house. Get your DD a nice thick dressing gown and a fleece.

I was always the poorest student in the house (even though I was the only one with a job!) . I’d have been panicking about putting the heating on to be honest.
the min temp in the contract thing can’t really be checked by a landlord, and normally they send a reminder when it’s set to freeze, telling you what to do so pipes don’t burst, but in most parts of the country we’re not there yet. And even then sometimes we’d risk it, especially if no one was hone to ‘get the most’ out of the heating.
if the house grows mould, you wash it off before you leave. I’m not saying that’s ethically the best behaviour but if you’re skint, you’re skint.
id tell dd to ask that they compromise to either a certain time that heating goes on, or the 4 happy to have it on pay a bit more if they other two can’t afford it and would happily not have it on. Or dd wears another jumper, gets a hot water bottle etc. Or even foots the bill for however much bills rise if she gets her own heater (to be fair I can see why the others wouldn’t want to be paying for this for her!!)
most unis are also doing a lot to keep students warm, suggesting places on campus for cheap hot drinks, places that are warm they can go study etc and dd could go to these if she’s (understandably) unhappy being cold.

To be honest though going back years so much cheaper bills, i don’t think we ever put the heating on through the year and it was full negotiation even when it was snowing, typically from the richest housemates!

@Onebyone987 that’s really interesting. DH didn’t go to uni, I find he’s the first to need the heating on when I’ll have 3 pairs of socks on, 5 blankets and a hot water bottle first. I did always wonder if it was because he never suffered through uni haha
He’s also more fussy with food being past Best before dates and he won’t just eat a simple meal like beans on toast for dinner or lunch he needs a ‘proper’ meal 3 times a day, I guess he never had to scrounge around for food that would suffice when the kitchen was too awful to cook in and you were waiting for pay day. I wonder what else uni instills in you!